Stop documenting sexy things!

Listen, y'all. We've talked about this before. But apparently some people don't read my blog *cough*AnthonyWeiner*cough*. Anthony? Can I talk to you for a moment over here?


Duuuuuuuuuuuude. Seriously? It's not bad enough that your last name is Weiner or that you sent a picture of yourself to some chick with two cats in the background and a message that said, "Me and the pussys." Actually, that WOULD be bad enough because that is some corny stuff right there. But then you went on to send around photos of your "bulging underpants".


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Thank you, Huffington Post, for protecting our delicate eyes from the word "boner." We owe you one.

...A boner, I mean. Obvs.

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One time, one of my theatre colleagues slipped up while giving the curtain speech before a show and instead of thanking our "individual donors" he thanked our "individual boners." Classic.
-- /SIDEBAR 2 --


So, Anthony, what were you doing? Sexting is really risky no matter how you slice it, and photos just make it worse. Surely you must have seen how this could go wrong? Now go back over there while I address the class.


For the sake of our sanity/careers/future happiness, I recommend we all just assume here and now that you can trust no one with documentation of sexy things. Video, email, photos, texting - it's all fairly dangerous. Oh the occasional "I am going to make out with your face" text can probably be trusted because, whatever, of course you are. But! The explicit stuff that rips back the protective cover of imagination is not advised. It's going to get out, accidentally or not... right, JLo? (Is that not the most sexual performance face photo in the history of the world? Stay classy, TMZ.)

True fact: if you've sent a sexual photo text to one of my friends, there's a pretty good chance I've seen it. Let me break it down: You send a photo of your junk to one girl. She is sort of like "?!" and within 45 seconds, at least 5 girls have seen it and are now commenting on it. Allow me to be more clear: WE SHOW EACH OTHER THAT KIND OF STUFF! And this goes both ways! Keep it PG in terms of what you document and you'll never have cause for worry.