Friday, June 15, 2018

Tony Awards 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

It's time to round out our Tony Awards coverage and our work week. Please go see plays - and not necessarily in New York! Theatre is almost certainly happening near where you are. 

THE WTF

Kerry Washington!
I understand no parts of this. How is this a beaded bolero jacket deep V long sleeved jumpsuit with train? Better yet, WHY is it?

Hamish Bowles!
So sorry to have woken you.

David Zinn!
We can almost always count on David Zinn for a statement shirt and a bevy of accessories. I happen to think this is fabulous.

Rachel Bloom!
Unlike some people I know exactly who this is and I love her. That said, oh boy do I hate this hairdo. I originally had her in the Bad pile but ultimately I decided there was too much here to be simply Bad. Alas, the custom Stephen-Sondheim-smoking-a-joint tshirt paired with this Evolution of the Arm skirt isn't working the way I think she probably envisioned. I've been there - it's difficult to pull off this kind of look with big boobs, honestly. I always want the best for Rachel Bloom; this was particularly painful for me to see.

Rachel Brosnahan!
It's a bit prim but it's kind of pretty. What is this dress doing in the WTF?
WELP.

Wayne Coyne (seen here with Katy Weaver)!
This is the cutest red carpet couples look I think I've ever seen. It's also completely bananas. Very here for it, very much wish all of the nominees had accessories that related to the shows for which they were nominated. Would love to see what the guys from Iceman Cometh would have cometh up with. 


Thursday, June 14, 2018

Tony Awards 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

Today is a very special day for Way Too Shay. Keep reading to the end - I'm excited for all of us. 

THE BAD

Tina Fey!
I tried to convince myself that this wasn't so bad from the knees up. Alas, I am not convinced. The short sleeve blazer cut on top is so clinical and the fabric is kinda like a quilt made from the world's finest tin foil. By the time I get to the large maltese taking up residence at the bottom, I am exhausted.

Carey Mulligan!
This is a 1970s-era reboot of Little House just waiting to happen. 

Michael Cera!
WHAT. ARE. THOSE. SHOES.

Sara Bareilles (seen here with Joe Tippett)!
Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.

Joan Allen!
After much research, I am 85% certain this is a burgundy velvet top paired with matching pants, not a full jumpsuit as I originally suspected. I'll give her this: she looks comfy. 

Kelli O'Hara!
Y'all, this is SO bad. It's a mock turtleneck with sheer midriff ice dance costume that, as Reader/Sister Julie said, looks like it was attacked by a cat. This is a Full Patton!

Claire Danes!
I will forever hate it when Claire lines her entire eyes but what we really have to discuss is this dress. It's leopard print; it's metallic; it's got ruffles at  the neck, wrists, floor, thighs, and heyhowyadoin; and it. is. hideous. This is ANOTHER Full Patton!

FIRST EVER DOUBLE PATTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Tony Awards 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

Welcome back! Today we have oh so many looks that juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust missed. Let's dive into the medium end of the pool, shall we?

THE MEH

Tituss Burgess (seen here with Pablo Salinas)!
Oh how I love this red tux on Tituss! Oh how I wish the fit on the jacket was just slightly roomier, the pants were hemmed just the teeniest bit shorter, and the tie was just a bit smaller. 

Christine Baranski!
Those earrings are EVERYTHING. And I truly love this look but for me the jacket is slightly too large and I wish the pants either were not cropped or kept this length but were more of a slimmer, cigarette pant.

Uzo Aduba!
She looks absolutely stunning - STUNNING!- but I will say, as I have said before, this is not the right neckline for her. Also I would have preferred a different color shoe, maybe a red?

Lauren Ambrose!
Okay, but now let's see it with the lining #1. 

Tatiana Maslany!
Okay, but now let's see it with the lining #2. 

Josh Groban (seen here with Schuyler Helford)!


It's a great material and the color is great on him but the parts don't fit super well - it's my suspicion that if they were actually at the waist they'd be too short and so they're sitting on his hips, looking weird AND giving the weirdly roomy thigh fit. Additionally, I disagree with this shade of silver bowtie.

Jenna Ushkowitz!
This is a very pretty prom dress with a fishtail braid. I don't know what else to say. I'm bored.

Amy Schumer (seen here with Chris Fischer)!
Snoozefest.

Tony Shalhoub (seen here with Brooke Adams)!
First of all, it is now my singular goal in life to get Tony Shalhoub to look at me the way he looked at Katrina Lenk during their performance of "Omar Sharif." Second of all, this tux is just overall too big by half a size. I'm giving him a pass because... well just watch the clip.

LaChanze!
LaChanze is wearing one of those pillows from your therapist's office that changes from regular to sequins when you brush it a certain way. Also CUAN.

Ethan Slater (seen here with an unidentified friend)!
Seriously, no one is listing her name - sorry! As for Ethan, this is not his color. Suit fits nicely but that baby blue washes him way out.

Tiffany Haddish!
This is a great look! I just wish her pants had not eaten her feet.

Cynthia Erivo!
What monster made this gorgeous dress and then added all that fringe?! Cynthia Erivo should never be mistaken for a victorian lampshade! The nerve!

Monday, June 11, 2018

Tony Awards 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The Good!

My dear readers, what a weekend! Here in Philadelphia we had an arts festival, Pride, and Odunde happening all at the same time. And then, on top of that, it was the Tony Awards! I love awards shows but the Tonys was always the most important to me because I got to see the exact thing I wanted to do with my life live and in color right on that tv. The Tonys aren't for the existing theatre community of New York; they are for the generation of theatre makers to come. Last night's show was filled with inspiration, heartfelt tears, and lots of joy. Things are always better when we start with joy, so onward!

THE GOOD

Hailey Kilgore!
You want joy? I will give you joy! I don't super love the pattern on the dress but I do love the silhouette, the styling, and how difficult it is to find a picture of Hailey Kilgore not happily twirling!
I think this is the only stationary picture she took all night. Again, the pattern isn't for me but everything else is. 

Taylor Louderman!
Summertime stunning.

Ming-Na Wen!
It's sexy, dramatic, and very glamorous. Ming-Na Wen will make a man out of you. I hope she can see the girl staring back at her. Truly a girl worth fighting for. Okay, I'm out of Mulan references without looking things up.

Brian Tyree Henry!
This is a great look. I love the color, love the texture on the jacket, and absolutely love that pocket square paired with the texture. I'm pretty sure from other pictures I saw that the pants are bunched like that because of the way he's standing, so don't @ me. 

Katherine McPhee!
This is a very, very lovely... tribute to the belly button. No but for real the dress is great and she looks gorgeous. CUAN for sure, but everything else seems to be right on track here. Her gay boys must be happy. 
(Seriously you have to click that link, it's so hilarious to me. You might have to watch it 20 times for it to be hilarious to you. It's worth the time investment.)

Chita Rivera!
Chita Rivera will be waiting for you in the bedroom when you're ready.

Andrew Garfield!
Everything seems to be in order here. 

Laurie Metcalf!
While I much preferred the way her hair was styled for the Oscars, I love this look. It's dramatic, it's timeless, and it says very clearly, Move over Judith Light, I'm the sitcom star taking all the Tonys now!

Condola Rashad!
Did someone say showstopper? (CUAN but you know... quibbles.)

Jamshied Sharifi (seen here with Miyuki Sakamoto)!
Just casually nailing a full black ensemble... which is DIFFICULT. Everything works together to create a cohesive, beautiful look.

Nikki M. James!
While I would have chosen a brighter lip, this is so so pretty.

Lauren Ridloff!
Again, would have gone with a different lip but she looks sensational and timeless.

Matt Bomer, Jim Parsons, Andrew Rannells, and Zachary Quinto!
The barbershop quartet I ordered is finally here! They're called Sons of Pitches and they are simply sublime.   

Monday, May 21, 2018

Royal Wedding: Hat's Incredible!

My dear readers, Saturday was not only the royal wedding but also my birthday - BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. Relevant to the interests of this blog, I need to tell you that my sister gave me a necklace that says CUAN. Thank you Reader/Sister Julie for making dreams come true! And now... onto the wedding and what a wedding it was! Rev. Curry's sermon, the lip bite felt 'round the world, the little kids holding hands, Sheku Kanneh-Mason's gorgeous cello pieces, the Kingdom Choir singing "Stand By Me," that one mention of sexual union... what a wedding! 

THE DRESSES

I loved them both. 

Ceremony Dress!
Sure it was just a teensy bit big in the sleeves but the overall effect was simple, classic, and outstanding. Also loved Harry all cinched into his uniform.

Reception Dress!
This is clearly a still from the new Bond film. 

Now let's get on to the main event....

THE HATS

Simple Elegance

Doria Ragland!
Classic and gorgeous. And the hat is okay too!

Abigail Spencer!
One can't go wrong with navy flowers.

Posh!
Everything seems to be in order here.

Lady Kitty Spencer!
Fabulous.

Hats That Are Hiding Stuff

Cathy Cambridge!
Surprise! Hiding flowers and twirlies!

Charlotte Riley!
Surprise! Hiding colorful flowers that coordinate a little too well with her dress!

Priyanka Chopra!
Surprise! Hiding her face!

Hats That Stick Up

Serena Williams!
Like a decorative tuile on a Top Chef's dessert.

Sofia Wellesley!
The fanciest napkin.

Joss Stone!
Joss Stone still exists!

Chelsy Davy!
Chelsy Davy, good sport #1, was sure to wear the pointiest and most terrifying hat to the wedding. 

Princess Anne!
And here is the second pointiest. 

Hats Literally Attached At The Hairline

Countess Spencer!
Additional points for tallest hat and best cape.

Fergie (Original Flavor)!
Not sure I love the hat but the rest of the look is pretty great.

Sophie Countess of Wessex!
I could be convinced that this hat is actually attached to her right eyebrow. Congratulations, Sophie, on the forwardest hat.

Hats That Are Small Platters

Carole Middleton!
That is the face of a woman who is relieved to just be a guest this time around.

Pippa Middleton!
I like that she chose a hat that highlights the flowers on the dress. I also like that she chose a dress that is eerily reminiscent of a delicious beverage.

Hats That Are Large Platters

Sabrina Dhowre!
A large platter adorned above and below.

Amal Clooney!
A large, sunny platter with sequined mesh.

Camilla!
A large, feathery platter. Very fluffy.

Large Hats

The Queen!
The Queen of England gets to wear the biggest hat!

Oprah!
Scratch that. The Queen of America gets to wear the biggest hat! 

Disappointing Hats

Cressida Bonas!
Good sport #2 opted for some sad feathers.

Princess Beatrice!
This is barely a hat! Very disappointed!

Most Disappointing Hat

Princess Eugenie!
After showing up to Wills and Kate's wedding in a uterine toilet seat, this Jackie O cosplay is deeply disappointing.


EDIT: I mixed up my princesses! But it's still disappointing!