Friday, September 22, 2017

Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

It seems impossible but we've come to the end of another red carpet rundown. Before you know it we'll be wearing coats and scoffing at Sexy ___ halloween costumes. But we're not there quite yet! There's still a small matter to be discussed....

THE WTF


Tessa Thompson!
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS! This is the epitome of a positive WTF dress - it's shiny, the middle makes no sense, it's pretty, it fits her beautifully, and it's a freaking rainbow! Thank you Tessa Thompson - super can't wait to see you in Thor. 

Mandy Moore!
You know how you can just take the heads off of nesting dolls and see them all stacked up in there? Yeah.

Rita Moreno!
Note to self: when wearing a cropped fringe jacket, make sure to employ a fringe wrangler so it doesn't look like the jacket is pinching my own nipple. For real though, we saw tiered sleeves twice now - here and Jessica Lange - and that deeply concerns me. 

Tracee Ellis Ross!
Reader Andrea commented on my facebook yesterday about designers who "stop designing somewhere around the knees" and "slapping dead duck feathers around the rest of the dress to the floor" - well here's another one for you! I am sincerely confounded about the proportions on this dress and also the shoes. In better Tracee Ellis Ross news, you have to watch her Vogue 73 Questions because it's wonderful and charming and she talks about one of my favorite fashion moments of hers AND she has framed portraits of her alter egos and now I need a) alter egos and b) framed portraits of them. Love her. 

Ariel Winter!
You look great, kid, but take it down several notches. I am no pearl clutcher but this made me say "oh my" out loud.

Ajiona Alexus!
This literally looks like she got up from dinner and the tablecloth was accidentally tucked into her pants. I guess I should have anticipated that the descendant of Secret Pants would be Unnecessary Side Train.  

Sarah Paulson!
This is shockingly bad. WTF is this silver sequinced bag with Sarah Paulson's head on it? And that hair! It honestly looks like a bad wig! As Reader Megan would say, I'm all fatootsed about this.

Chris Sullivan (seen here with Rachel Reichard)!
Top hat, cane, sparkle shoes, purple bowtie - I know a magician when I see one! OMG DO YOU THINK HE'S THERE TO VANISH RASHIDA JONES' MIDSECTION!?!?!??! He's got magic to do just for you, he's got miracle plays to play, he's got parts to perform, hearts to warm, Emmys and things to take by storm as he goes along his way!

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

This is actually the list that hurts me the most because some of my forever favorites are in here, being done wrong. 

THE BAD

Regina King!
How very dare someone put our beloved Regina King in this unflattering mess of a dress. And how very dare a makeup artist do that to her eyes. HOW VERY DARE!

Allison Janney!
If you looked at Felicity Huffman's frock yesterday and thought, "Hrm, yes, but could it be in a worse color and more unflattering?" Yes, yes it could.

Zoe Kravitz!
Project Runway challenge: make a dress out of a pinata. 

Angela Sarafyan!
I'm not saying this is a rejected costume from Copacabana The Musical, but I am saying that I bet she can merengue and do the cha cha. Perhaps she can even do them in the hottest spot north of Havana. Music and passion are always the fashion, but this dress... not so much. I'll stop now.







They felllll in looooooooove....

(Okay, I'm done for real now.)

Jenifer Lewis!
Okay first of all she forgot her shirt. Secondly, this cape-jacket makes it look like someone is behind her, doing her arms like Jenifer Lewis is on Who's Line Is It Anyway playing helping hands. Oh my god, how amazing would a Jenifer Lewis improv troupe be? Please reboot Who's Line with just Jenifer Lewis and whoever's arms these are. 

Priyanka Chopra!
Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no. 

Carrie Coon!
Carrie Coon: I would like to look like melting strawberry ice cream. But you know, with an odd fit.
Stylist: Say no more!

Uzo Aduba!
From the files of When Bad Dresses Happen To Fabulous People. I've been looking at this dress for a few days and I think I've figured out why it is not working for me. The striped pattern/detail is at odds with the roundness of the top third and then in the middle there is a break to the line and finally in the bottom third it's too long. The shapes just don't go together. Honestly, I wish she'd hook up with Christian Siriano because he knows how to design for well-endowed women. Some of my favorite Christina Hendricks red carpet moments were Siriano gowns. Her head looks gorgeous but Uzo deserves much better than this dress. 

Rachel Bloom!
I think our Rachel suffers from the same ailment as Debra Messing: she just doesn't look great in black. And dear god, on top of that this dress is fairly hideous. I don't know if you can see it but in addition to the lace situation up top there is a largish bow at the waist. No thank you.

Laverne Cox!
From the waist-down, this is totally fine! From the neck up, this is totally fine! But the torso? OY. I am concerned about Laverne going tits ahoy in this thing. Why are there ruffles on the straps? Why are the cups so very wee? Why is there so much chest with so little necklace? 

Laura Dern!
I'm sure it's just the way she is standing but it really looks like her feet are on the wrong sides, right? Also this dress is freaking terrible. I figure it's an artistic ode to a lit cigarette - the bottom being the ash, the top artistically dotted with cutouts to mimic cigarette burns. Are you buying this? Me neither.

Gabrielle Union!
I love a necklace, I love a cape, I love a bathing suit, I love embellishment but this is a lot of look. Gabrielle, the call is coming from inside the dress! 

Kathryn Hahn!
OMG I totally used to have this shower curtain! No joke, this is fullest Patton in a long time. Full. Patton.



Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

We have a lot to cover and I am sure we're going to have some disagreements about some of these just like many of you disagree with me about Jane Fonda's ponytail. To each their own! 

THE MEH

Padma Lakshmi!
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental but dresses that fit are a girl's best friend.

Issa Rae!
This is actually painful for me because without the sleeves, she is perfection. I'm sorry, I mean to say without the elbow warmer and the spandex dance sleeve topped with a bath pouf, this dress is perfection. Issa Rae herself is ALWAYS perfection. 

Anna Chlumsky!
The dress is great on her but without any styling to speak of, it really looks like she forgot she was supposed to do this tonight. I want more elaborate hair, a bold lip, bigger studs in her ears and one hell of a cuff - something fun with a pop of color, maybe like this

Jessica Lange!
This is pretty and very, very Jessica Lange but those sleeves end three times and I do not understand why.

Rashida Jones!
Fabulous color on her and the makeup is extraordinary but this dress makes her look like she's a magician's assistant and the magician is about to make her midsection DISAPPEAR! 

Felicity Huffman!
Frumpy wallpaper that happens to fit well.

Shailene Woodley!
Seems like Shailene is going through her goth phase. Happens to the best of us but what is happening on her head!? I bind you, Shailene, from doing harm - harm against other people and harm against your hair.

Brian Tyree Henry!
He looks fabulous but ... a bracelet AND a watch AND a hat AND two necklaces... I just feel like he could use one or two fewer accessories.

Michelle Pfeiffer!
Something about the cropped sleeves and the tea length dress make this feel overly twee to me. I wonder if I would like it if she and Shailene switched gowns? That might be fun.

Reese Witherspoon!
I am dying to see the mashup production of Chicago and Guys and Dolls our Resse is starring in as Roxie Detroit. I actually don't hate this, I just want it to be a skosh shorter and I want different shoes. 

Sarah Hyland!
Fall is here, Sarah Hyland has decreed it.

Chrissy Metz!
Great color, absolutely wrong fabric. Lace is the dark side of the 90s being "back." I would love to see a chiffon or organza version of this. 

Tituss Burgess!
Minor quibbles: pants are a touch too long and the bowtie is certainly too small. The coat isn't my favorite fabric but I am loving this look for him.

Kate McKinnon!
This gown is a little snoozy but, more importantly, I suggest you fire your makeup artist. 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson!
The fit is immaculate and he really tried to shake it up with the green tux jacket. Points for effort but he looks like he's leading the band at the afterparty. 

Samantha Bee!
I put this in the Meh because it fits her really well and her hair looks nice but I have to be honest with you, my dear readers: I hate this gown. I don't know why but I really do. Maybe it's the shoulder pads? Maybe it's the pseudo Wonder Woman-ness that doesn't quite go all the way? Maybe it's because her makeup is so comparatively dull? I don't know but I think it's just me so I'm going to call this just...fine.

Kumail Nanjiani (seen here with Emily V. Gordon)!
I really wanted to put him on Boyfriend Alley but I took one look at the fit on those pants and I just could not. They appear to be either too long or falling down. Either way, I have to ding him. 

Gina Rodriguez!
That is a whole lot of torso! 

Claire Foy!
Claire, this is not your look. With nothing at the waist, it is extremely stumpifying - I know she's not super tall but this really exacerbates things. I would have gone with a sleeker hairstyle for this garment, and I think I would have liked to crop the pant a bit.

Ellie Kemper!
I actually quite like this dress - it reminds me of stained glass - but alas it is too long on her. Also, I hate the styling - this hair and those ankle strap shoes? Again, with the 90s. I guess we should all just be thankful that she didn't go all the way and do that offensive chopstick hair accent thing.

Edie Falco!
Edie Falco forgot to untuck her napkin from her neck after dinner.

Elisabeth Moss!
Digging this Enchantment Under the Sea vibe but it's absolutely the wrong color and  - here we go - Could Use a Necklace.

Lena Waithe (seen here with Alana Mayo)!
I went back and forth on this so hard. I love this look so much I wanted to put it in the Good but I haaaaaaate that shirt so much it had to go in the Meh. I have a hard time picturing a world where anyone can pull off a boldly patterned tux with a lined and studded shirt. If anyone was going to, it would have been Lena... alas. 

Monday, September 18, 2017

Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Good!

I don't know about you, my dear readers, but I could really use some fashion right now. I could use some some truly reckless necklines, I could use some hilariously bad sleeves, and I could use a moment out of the daily routine to tell people that they could use a necklace. Lucky for us, the Emmy Awards were last night so we have all of these things! 

Before we dive into the Good pile, I have something exciting to share. As longtime readers know, the only time I comment on "normals" or children under the age of 18 is when something is FABULOUS. (This is because "normals" generally don't the have access to stylists, designers, and just all the stuff that celebs do. And because children are children.) Well! Friend of a friend Kirsten and her husband were at the Emmys last night and gave me permission to tell them they look fabulous here on Way Too Shay - 

Fabulous, both of you!  I hope you had fun! And now, onto people who did not go to my college.

THE GOOD

Leslie Jones!
One of the most satisfying fashion partnerships of the past few years is Leslie Jones and Christian Siriano. This is fun, sexy, totally unexpected, and one of my favorite looks of the night. This teeters right on the edge of being a sensuous ice dancer tablecloth and somehow manages not to go there.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus!
As we know, JLD does a strapless column dress and that is that. This one is super fun and I really love that she is highlighting the green in the dress with her earrings.

Emmy Rossum!
More green accenting black - loving these accessories. The dress fits her like a dream! I do believe she is using her hair in lieu of a necklace and I'll allow it.

Susan Sarandon!
Whether or not we think Susan Sarandon is a jerk now, there is no arguing that this dress fits her exquisitely and also that she Could Use A Necklace.

Thandie Newton!
This is another one who CUAN but who actually cares because oh my god this is so pretty. Thandie Newton is a real life princess, right? 

Millie Bobby Brown!
Speaking of princesses - holy moly! This is literally the fairytale dress I dreamed of when I was her age. This is perfect.

The ST Kids!
While we are complimenting children  - look at how great these kids look! This is some highly advanced red carpet fashion. Well done all you kids!

Samira Wiley!
Let me be quite clear: I had quite the debate over whether this should go to Good or Meh. You know I dislike a formal turtleneck, but the fit and the color, and the styling really pushed it to Good for me. Also the fact that it is Samira Wiley and she is wearing the hell out of this gown.

Anika Noni Rose!
I am really loving this blush trend. Anika Noni Rose decided to be unforgettable at the Emmys and knocked it out of the park. Also, can we please talk about this makeup? Simply gorgeous.

Are you ready for Boyfriend Alley? Let's get that going now.

Boyfriend Alley

Riz Ahmed!
As always, oh my goodness.

Donald Glover (seen here with Stephen Glover)!
Oh my goodness times two.

Alexander SkarsgÄrd!
Oh my goodness even with a mustache.

Anthony Anderson (seen here with Alvina Stewart)!
Oh my goodness in the no sock trend.

Sterling K. Brown!
Oh my goodness to infinity and beyond.

This concludes Boyfriend Alley. More boyfriends to come in other red carpet rundown installments.

Sofia Vergara!
It may not be surprising but it is expertly done. That is the size earring you have to have if you want to skip a necklace on this neckline. She looks beautiful.

Jessica Biel!
I cannot believe it but I love this. The draping on this gown is stunning and her entire head looks remarkably good. I'm feeling it.

Shanon Purser!
I love the 1950s feel of this, I love this green, and I love the shape. Not sure about the butterflies but I never am really sure about butterflies so we'll let it go.

Viola Davis!
Once again, my dear readers, I must implore you to bow down to Viola Davis. It's her world, we're just here to applaud her.

Judith Light!
Angela Bower didn't come to play she came to slay! She's been To Shell And Back and wants you to know she's still got it. Yowza!

Oprah!
When you are Oprah, you don't have to walk the red carpet, you just show up inside and make it harder for amateur fashion critics to find a picture of your fabulous tux. I adore this look - I love it almost as much as Oprah loves bread. Special thanks to Reader Rosey for finding this pic for me! 

 La Kidman!
I love it when Nicole Kidman wears red. This full glam look is perfect. 

Evan Rachel Wood!
ERW knows a thing or two about advance tux wearing and styling. Goddamn, this is good. 

Justina Machado!
Oh my god I need this dress. I love her, I love her in the color, but most of all I love this dress and I think it is perfection. As for styling, I think CUAN but who cares when the dress is this fabulous.

Jane Fonda!
Oh hell yes I am here for this Elle Woods meets Barbara Eden meets big bangs and bell sleeves fantasy. Jane Fonda is kil. ling. it. There are only two things that could possibly make this better.

There they are. While these three remain, the world may still spin.