Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

It seems impossible but we've come to the end of another red carpet rundown. Before you know it we'll be wearing coats and scoffing at Sexy ___ halloween costumes. But we're not there quite yet! There's still a small matter to be discussed....

THE WTF

Tessa Thompson!

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS! This is the epitome of a positive WTF dress - it's shiny, the middle makes no sense, it's pretty, it fits her beautifully, and it's a freaking rainbow! Thank you Tessa Thompson - super can't wait to see you in Thor. 

Mandy Moore!

You know how you can just take the heads off of nesting dolls and see them all stacked up in there? Yeah.

Rita Moreno!

Note to self: when wearing a cropped fringe jacket, make sure to employ a fringe wrangler so it doesn't look like the jacket is pinching my own nipple. For real though, we saw tiered sleeves twice now - here and Jessica Lange - and that deeply concerns me. 

Tracee Ellis Ross!

Reader Andrea commented on my facebook yesterday about designers who "stop designing somewhere around the knees" and "slapping dead duck feathers around the rest of the dress to the floor" - well here's another one for you! I am sincerely confounded about the proportions on this dress and also the shoes. In better Tracee Ellis Ross news, you have to watch her Vogue 73 Questions because it's wonderful and charming and she talks about one of my favorite fashion moments of hers AND she has framed portraits of her alter egos and now I need a) alter egos and b) framed portraits of them. Love her. 

Ariel Winter!

You look great, kid, but take it down several notches. I am no pearl clutcher but this made me say "oh my" out loud.

Ajiona Alexus!

This literally looks like she got up from dinner and the tablecloth was accidentally tucked into her pants. I guess I should have anticipated that the descendant of Secret Pants would be Unnecessary Side Train.  

Sarah Paulson!

This is shockingly bad. WTF is this silver sequinced bag with Sarah Paulson's head on it? And that hair! It honestly looks like a bad wig! As Reader Megan would say, I'm all fatootsed about this.

Chris Sullivan (seen here with Rachel Reichard)!

Top hat, cane, sparkle shoes, purple bowtie - I know a magician when I see one! OMG DO YOU THINK HE'S THERE TO VANISH RASHIDA JONES' MIDSECTION!?!?!??! He's got magic to do just for you, he's got miracle plays to play, he's got parts to perform, hearts to warm, Emmys and things to take by storm as he goes along his way!