Way Too Shay: Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

This is actually the list that hurts me the most because some of my forever favorites are in here, being done wrong.

THE BAD

Regina King!

How very dare someone put our beloved Regina King in this unflattering mess of a dress. And how very dare a makeup artist do that to her eyes. HOW VERY DARE!

Allison Janney!

If you looked at Felicity Huffman's frock yesterday and thought, "Hrm, yes, but could it be in a worse color and more unflattering?" Yes, yes it could.

Zoe Kravitz!

Project Runway challenge: make a dress out of a pinata.

Angela Sarafyan!

I'm not saying this is a rejected costume from Copacabana The Musical, but I am saying that I bet she can merengue and do the cha cha. Perhaps she can even do them in the hottest spot north of Havana. Music and passion are always the fashion, but this dress... not so much. I'll stop now.

They felllll in looooooooove....

(Okay, I'm done for real now.)

Jenifer Lewis!

Okay first of all she forgot her shirt. Secondly, this cape-jacket makes it look like someone is behind her, doing her arms like Jenifer Lewis is on Who's Line Is It Anyway playing helping hands. Oh my god, how amazing would a Jenifer Lewis improv troupe be? Please reboot Who's Line with just Jenifer Lewis and whoever's arms these are.

Priyanka Chopra!

Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.

Carrie Coon!

Carrie Coon: I would like to look like melting strawberry ice cream. But you know, with an odd fit.
Stylist: Say no more!

Uzo Aduba!

From the files of When Bad Dresses Happen To Fabulous People. I've been looking at this dress for a few days and I think I've figured out why it is not working for me. The striped pattern/detail is at odds with the roundness of the top third and then in the middle there is a break to the line and finally in the bottom third it's too long. The shapes just don't go together. Honestly, I wish she'd hook up with Christian Siriano because he knows how to design for well-endowed women. Some of my favorite Christina Hendricks red carpet moments were Siriano gowns. Her head looks gorgeous but Uzo deserves much better than this dress.

Rachel Bloom!

I think our Rachel suffers from the same ailment as Debra Messing: she just doesn't look great in black. And dear god, on top of that this dress is fairly hideous. I don't know if you can see it but in addition to the lace situation up top there is a largish bow at the waist. No thank you.

Laverne Cox!

From the waist-down, this is totally fine! From the neck up, this is totally fine! But the torso? OY. I am concerned about Laverne going tits ahoy in this thing. Why are there ruffles on the straps? Why are the cups so very wee? Why is there so much chest with so little necklace?

Laura Dern!

I'm sure it's just the way she is standing but it really looks like her feet are on the wrong sides, right? Also this dress is freaking terrible. I figure it's an artistic ode to a lit cigarette - the bottom being the ash, the top artistically dotted with cutouts to mimic cigarette burns. Are you buying this? Me neither.

Gabrielle Union!

I love a necklace, I love a cape, I love a bathing suit, I love embellishment but this is a lot of look. Gabrielle, the call is coming from inside the dress!

Kathryn Hahn!