Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Emmy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

We have a lot to cover and I am sure we're going to have some disagreements about some of these just like many of you disagree with me about Jane Fonda's ponytail. To each their own! 

THE MEH

Padma Lakshmi!
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental but dresses that fit are a girl's best friend.

Issa Rae!
This is actually painful for me because without the sleeves, she is perfection. I'm sorry, I mean to say without the elbow warmer and the spandex dance sleeve topped with a bath pouf, this dress is perfection. Issa Rae herself is ALWAYS perfection. 

Anna Chlumsky!
The dress is great on her but without any styling to speak of, it really looks like she forgot she was supposed to do this tonight. I want more elaborate hair, a bold lip, bigger studs in her ears and one hell of a cuff - something fun with a pop of color, maybe like this

Jessica Lange!
This is pretty and very, very Jessica Lange but those sleeves end three times and I do not understand why.

Rashida Jones!
Fabulous color on her and the makeup is extraordinary but this dress makes her look like she's a magician's assistant and the magician is about to make her midsection DISAPPEAR! 

Felicity Huffman!
Frumpy wallpaper that happens to fit well.

Shailene Woodley!
Seems like Shailene is going through her goth phase. Happens to the best of us but what is happening on her head!? I bind you, Shailene, from doing harm - harm against other people and harm against your hair.

Brian Tyree Henry!
He looks fabulous but ... a bracelet AND a watch AND a hat AND two necklaces... I just feel like he could use one or two fewer accessories.

Michelle Pfeiffer!
Something about the cropped sleeves and the tea length dress make this feel overly twee to me. I wonder if I would like it if she and Shailene switched gowns? That might be fun.

Reese Witherspoon!
I am dying to see the mashup production of Chicago and Guys and Dolls our Resse is starring in as Roxie Detroit. I actually don't hate this, I just want it to be a skosh shorter and I want different shoes. 

Sarah Hyland!
Fall is here, Sarah Hyland has decreed it.

Chrissy Metz!
Great color, absolutely wrong fabric. Lace is the dark side of the 90s being "back." I would love to see a chiffon or organza version of this. 

Tituss Burgess!
Minor quibbles: pants are a touch too long and the bowtie is certainly too small. The coat isn't my favorite fabric but I am loving this look for him.

Kate McKinnon!
This gown is a little snoozy but, more importantly, I suggest you fire your makeup artist. 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson!
The fit is immaculate and he really tried to shake it up with the green tux jacket. Points for effort but he looks like he's leading the band at the afterparty. 

Samantha Bee!
I put this in the Meh because it fits her really well and her hair looks nice but I have to be honest with you, my dear readers: I hate this gown. I don't know why but I really do. Maybe it's the shoulder pads? Maybe it's the pseudo Wonder Woman-ness that doesn't quite go all the way? Maybe it's because her makeup is so comparatively dull? I don't know but I think it's just me so I'm going to call this just...fine.

Kumail Nanjiani (seen here with Emily V. Gordon)!
I really wanted to put him on Boyfriend Alley but I took one look at the fit on those pants and I just could not. They appear to be either too long or falling down. Either way, I have to ding him. 

Gina Rodriguez!
That is a whole lot of torso! 

Claire Foy!
Claire, this is not your look. With nothing at the waist, it is extremely stumpifying - I know she's not super tall but this really exacerbates things. I would have gone with a sleeker hairstyle for this garment, and I think I would have liked to crop the pant a bit.

Ellie Kemper!
I actually quite like this dress - it reminds me of stained glass - but alas it is too long on her. Also, I hate the styling - this hair and those ankle strap shoes? Again, with the 90s. I guess we should all just be thankful that she didn't go all the way and do that offensive chopstick hair accent thing.

Edie Falco!
Edie Falco forgot to untuck her napkin from her neck after dinner.

Elisabeth Moss!
Digging this Enchantment Under the Sea vibe but it's absolutely the wrong color and  - here we go - Could Use a Necklace.

Lena Waithe (seen here with Alana Mayo)!
I went back and forth on this so hard. I love this look so much I wanted to put it in the Good but I haaaaaaate that shirt so much it had to go in the Meh. I have a hard time picturing a world where anyone can pull off a boldly patterned tux with a lined and studded shirt. If anyone was going to, it would have been Lena... alas. 

2 comments:

  1. "What are you dressed for, open heart surgery?" Will Truman re: Gina Rodriguez

    ReplyDelete