Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Sexy _______ Halloween Costume Roundup 2018!

My dear goblins and ghouls, welcome to my most dearly held Way Too Shay tradition: the annual shakedown of what is new in sexy Halloween costumes! As longtime readers know, we've been through a lot with Yandy.com (and newcomer 3 Wishes) and yet there is always some new way to market yourself for consumption on Halloween. But this year is really special for me and for all of you because this year.... you are not going to believe this...this year YANDY MADE A SEXY ____ MET GALA COSTUME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this isn't specifically for all of us Way Too Shay-ers, I do not know what is. I give you....

Sexy Rihanna's Met Gala Pope Outfit!
Honestly, I wanted to save this for the final entry this year but I just absolutley have to lead with this moment of perfect synergy. And if you doubt that this is definitely meant to be RiRi's incredible Pope look from the Heavenly Bodies gala in May, please note that the people who are in charge of making sure no one at Yandy gets sued for copyright infringement called this the Shining Bright Pope Costume. I bow to you, Yandy. This is the highlight of my day!

Sexy Aquaman!
Right, Batman, Robin, you find some way to block future transmissions.  Wonder Woman, you stop Dr. Spiker and find out what he knows.  Flash, run to the Andes Mountains and get those plants.  I'll go stop the missiles that have already been launched.  Aquaman, you go...talk to some fish!

Sexy Wolf!
There are only a couple of new Sexy ____ costumes for men this year and here's one of them. Gents, may I recommend in the current climate that you do not at all dress as a sexy predator? Bro, don't do it. 

Sexy Egyptian God!
I want you to think very, very carefully before you choose this costume. There are two questions to consider: 1. Am I Egyptian? 2. Am I Christian Bale? If you did not answer yes to either of those questions, bro, don't do it.

Sexy Black Panther!
Redundant but okay.

Sexy Killmonger!
Double redundant but okay.

Sexy Dora Milaje!
EXTRAORDINARILY redundant but okay. Also this model was only given one pair of shoes.

Sexy Slender Man!
What is going on here? Why is this happening!? 

Sexy Assassin's Creed!
When you gotta put the ass in assassin.

Sexy Sherlock Holmes!
This one is very special to me. Way back many years ago, the first Sexy ____ costume I ever saw in the wilds of Philadelphia was a Sexy Sherlock Holmes. I was like, the game is afoot indeed! This one is extra good because it's basically a bathing suit and a sheer trench. How delightfully awful!

Sexy Flashdance!
What a feeling! Being's believing! I can have it all! Now I'm dancing for my life! (Welding mask not included.)

Sexy Frog Prince!
Sure, why not?

Sexy Rocket Raccoon!

Somehow this was the only Sexy Guardians costume I found? I don't understand it either. Definitely disappointed to miss out on Sexy Groot.

Sexy Jack Skellington!
This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Halloween!

Sexy Roger Rabbit!
Okay, I am going to give Yandy some credit because this is a kind of creative take on Roger Rabbit. That said...

Sexy Jessica Rabbit!
Jessica Rabbit is already sexy, you nitwits! This is wholly unnecessary! And speaking of wholly unnecessary....

Sexy Stormy Daniels!
I'm really sorry for making you look at this but, in fairness, I can't unsee it so now neither can you. But I'd like to atone....

Sexy Cactus!
THIS IS HILARIOUS AND AMAZING. Sexy Cactus is a strong contender and probably would have been my favorite if Sexy Rihanna At The Met Ball didn't exist. Sexy Cactus. Hilar.

Sexy Meghan Markle!
This is the height of disrespect for my princess! How very dare you! 

We're just about at the end of the roundup but I wanted to end with something special, something very Halloween-y. 

Pennywise!


Sexy Pennywise!
There you have IT! Happy Halloween everyone! I'll see myself out!