Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A plug with a side of guuuuh

My dear readers, I want to take a moment in this week of gratitude and food to say THANK YOU for reading WTS this year. I've had such a good time blogging for you (and me) and finding fun stuff to talk about.

Here's what has been keeping me busy...

I have been putting together a new Christmas show for the grown ups called Chlamydia for Christmas and Herpes for Hanukkah: More Sex-Ed Burlesque for the Holidays. My breast friend Gigi and I have been working hard on the show and this is a special invitation to readers of WTS to come check it out! Do you like to read WTS? You'll love to hear WTS-esque things coming out of my mouth live and in person! Tickets are available RIGHT NOW over here! Perhaps I can entice you with a photo of me wearing a moustache?

But for real: I am tired. Tired in a really lucky sort of way. Let's take a break from the whirlwind of stress to take a look at the pretty. ELIZABETH TAYLOR ONLINE AUCTION!!!!!!!

The caftan! The cowboy boots! The turquoise necklace! The white gold and diamond hoop earrings! (Those have always brought me luck...) Oh, Elizabeth. Yes. YES.

big ups to Ms. Jayme for the link!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Possibly the girliest thing ever.

I'm sure you probably all read The Hairpin, so you've probably already seen this, but I MUST post it here! (And, ps, if you are not reading The Hairpin just start now. It's wonderful.)

Ultra-femme guru Jane Marie put up one of her How To Be A Girl videos about the easiest and best way to do cat eye makeup. It is genius. Go forth and be fabulous!

My dear friend is getting married next weekend. It's one of those awesome and awe-inspiring things where not only is she deeply in love but she and the object of her deep affection have decided that they are throwing this wedding themselves, the way they want it. That means she's cooking all of the food. That's a slightly terrifying prospect if you ask me but she assures me that the happiest she's felt planning her wedding was while doing a practice run of the dishes she planned to make. Not being very helpful at group cooking, I asked if there was anything else I could do to help her prepare for the wedding. She very sweetly asked me to help her buy makeup and teach her how to use it. THAT'S LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER! We had a fun day at Sephora and now we're on the eve of the makeup trial...which means I get to see her dress.

There is a delightful giddiness I feel when I get to attend a wedding or be in a wedding or help out with a wedding for people I love. I have had the great pleasure of doing this multiple times this year, and I couldn't be happier to be part of my friends' celebration next weekend. Gush gush gush, ain't love grand? More importantly, ain't makeup grand?

She's a person who never wears anything more than foundation, so we're going to keep it light so she looks like herself, but also have a little bit of fun playing with the vintage vibe of her dress. We have a couple of hours tomorrow to play, so first we're going to set how she wants her face to be on the wedding day and then we're going to go with basic tutorial. I'm definitely teaching her the cat eye tape trick from Jane Marie! It's easy and awesome!

On a related note, I've been commissioned to do wedding hair for the groom's mother and two sisters. This wedding is going to be many things but one thing it won't be is Too Shay!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Hair Down There

My dear readers, I know... I know. I don't call, I don't write, I don't send you flowers anymore. I'm in the midst of making a show (more on that at a later date), so life is kind of hectic.


Holy lord, I could not keep this from you. My lovely friend Jane sent out the latest ad from PETA yesterday and I'm sitting here with thoughts. I have thoughts on hair.

Jane actually sent out the article from the Ms. blog about said ad. There are a lot of salient points in that thar article.
Does “it’s for a good cause” excuse exploiting, dehumanizing and sexualizing women? Do we want to get behind animal rights when they’re packaged as caged, unclothed pregnant women on all fours, women marked up as cuts of meat, women being beaten with baseball bats, and (more than once) the likening of our natural pubic hair to clothing made from the skinned fur of slaughtered animals?

Indeed, Ms. Indeed.

So, okay: you get hair ripped out of your labia majora and PETA gets a cut. On one hand, there are tons of women who rock this style and might as well have some of their beauty dollars go to a good cause. On the other hand, good try PETA. I am not going to sacrifice my gloriously full bush to your organization.

You heard me: glorious. This is where my thoughts come in. Get ready.

I am all about personal style. You know this. This is not shocking. Many of my friends rock what I call "the full banana" (note: this is not catching on, sadly) because they feel smooth is sexy and wonderful. Go, girls. And boys. I take issue when a lady friend tells me that the full banana* is "cleaner." What is that about? I shower every day. I change my underwear. I have proper hygiene. My hairy cootch is just as clean as your baby smooth one. If you bic'd your hair, would your head be considered cleaner than mine?

Another layer of this, of course, is the male gaze. I have a problem with dressing and styling oneself for the sexual gratification of others. This is one of the reasons I always try to refrain from telling someone I'm dating that they need a haircut. I would hate it if a partner said that to me. It would feel like I was styling myself for their gratification, and that is no good. I love dressing up or getting my hair cut or wearing makeup or choosing jewelry or shoes that help me feel my best. In fact, everything that goes on around my face and head is my favorite mode of self-expression. This is why I dye my hair so much.

Here's the bottom line: my personal opinion on hair is HOORAY. I like body hair, especially pubic hair. It's adult and it's great. I'm not against general upkeep (though it's impressive if underarm hair can be braided), but I do like to know that when I'm hitting the sheets I am doing so with an adult. So thanks, but no thanks, PETA. I really don't think my glorious downstairs style is the same as skinning an animal and wearing it for fashion. Fur is gross, hair is awesome.

*should I stop trying to make "the full banana" happen?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

And now....deep thoughts....

So how are you all doing on that whole actively choosing to live life challenge? As for me, I definitely have difficulty feeling very active in my choice to take a shower. I also have found it difficult to actively engage in the shower experience. I do my best thinking in the shower which, unfortunately, sometimes leads to me forgetting to shampoo my hair.

Reader Mix (indeed the same woman who encouraged me to start WTS in the first place) found a lovely website called Positively Positive and therein found the following quote:

You can laugh again after unspeakable loss. Joy will wind its way around scars that will never unknot within you – like smiling ivy warming tree roots.

I'm sharing this with all 6 of you in hopes that it will inspire you as much as it inspired me. Thank you, Mix!

In related news, a friend who lives a life quite similar to mine just got a dog. Our lives are similar in that we both are the types of people who leave the house early in the morning and don't return until well past nightfall. We have lots of plates spinning every day and try to cram as much into our waking hours as humanly possible. I was absolutely floored when he decided to get a dog and started teasing him about animal cruelty. Don't dogs need attention and walks and not to be left alone for 18 hours a day? He very simply explained that he wanted to change the way he lived his life, and this was a very real and immediate way to do that. He has to consider time at home important; he has to consider another living being. And then he said.... AND THEN HE SAID...

We choose to live our lives this way. We have to stop pretending it's not a choice.

With that in mind, I am taking a look at things in my life I view as unpleasant but inescapable, and trying to think a little more creatively about the way I could be living. This goes hand-in-hand with being present in my life and actively choosing the way my day is lived. God love you, weirdo friend of mine who now has an inexplicable dog.

Also, I know you guys don't come here for the soul searching, so here's a good laugh, courtesy of Reader Nikki: