Monday, January 30, 2017

SAG Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Good!

My dear readers, I must start by confessing that with all of the scary and disturbing things that are happening right now in America it feels mighty frivolous to write about what celebrities wore to an awards show. I feel I should rather be urging you to call your representatives or donate money to a worthy cause. Honestly, it was a little hard to find the motivation to even collate the photos from last night's red carpet. But then I thought about how much I have appreciated little breaks from the constant barrage of badness such as Eric Reads the News or absolutely stupid Buzzfeed quizzes (I should be a "wicked travel guide," by the way) and I decided that maybe it's okay to have a little time in our days to celebrate/skewer expensive outfits worn by famous people. We here at Way Too Shay are against racism, xenophobia, and strapless dresses with bare clavicles. 


Yara Shahidi!
Let's start with some Dr. Seuss realness. This red carpet saw a lot of pattern, a lot of stripes, a ton of pants, and a vague end-of-disco feel and I am HERE FOR IT. This here is a lot of look and she is executing it flawlessly. 

Dev Patel!
Speaking of flawless.... jeez. I don't have a single thing to say other than hands out of pockets when being photographed, please. 

Sofia Vergara!
THIS! This is what I've been looking for from her! It's a completely different silhouette and it looks phenomenal. Could it use a necklace? Yep. Could Use A Necklace. But! I am just so delighted to see her in something that is not a skintight metallic, I could just jump through the computer and hug her.

Gwendoline Christie!
Slay! This is pure Liza at the club giving perfectly casual ferocity. 

Ryan Gosling!
Perfect to the point of boredom.

Josiah Bell and Jurnee Smollett-Bell!
Absolutely killing it. Jurnee CUAN or at least a very large bracelet but that's a minor quibble.

Angela Sarafyan!
I am so in love with the construction of this dress with the dramatic cinch and exaggerated hips. It's unlike anything else you'll see on this red carpet. Alas, I believe this dress is wearing this woman but honestly I would let that dress wear me any day.

Ellie Kemper!
Ellie Kemper continues to have one of the best stylists in town. It's simple, it's elegant, and she looks great.

Samira Wiley!
I am not actually sure if I like this but it does look fabulous on her. It's definitely a new look for Samira and it's one of my favorite interpretations of this length. Also, I'm just so excited to see Samira and her new hair. I guess that's one good thing about The Thing That Happened on OITNB Which I Still Have Trouble Discussing - she can play with different hair styles now! 

Rami Malek!
There is no way this should work as well as it does. Then again, it's Rami Malek and he is unstoppable on the red carpet, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Octavia Spencer!
Gorgeous, love the neckline oh so much. I wish for a different bag, perhaps something to compliment her earrings.

Bryce Dallas Howard!
No comments or suggestions, this is elegant and stunning.

I'd love to see a little more shirt cuff but I think it might just be the way he's posing. Tux-wearers of the world: print this out and put it next to your mirror for inspiration. 

Michelle Dockery!
This is fabulous - the fit is flawless and the styling is exactly right. Her makeup artist chose the perfect lip color for this look - that could have gone horribly wrong. I was not into this dress when I first saw it but it has really grown on me. I think I might like a thin black sash at the waist, but I can also be happy with it as is.

Sarah Paulson and Marcia Clarke!
Pretty great, all around. Marcia's dress is a little Mother of the Bride but I'm not mad at it. Both of their heads look perfect. Well done, ladies.

Ashton Sanders!
Fantastic, I'm into it. 

Shannon Purser!
I'm feeling this 1950s glamour with all that Pigpen dust cloud tulle. Love it.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus!
Color me surprised to see JLD in yet another column dress. This one at least has an interesting pattern, paired with the perfect necklace. I'd do anything to see JLD with a side part, though.

Riz Ahmed!
In my dream world, Dev Patel and Riz Ahmed go shopping for skinny suits and tuxes together. In said dream world, I would be the shop assistant who got to compliment them over and over for how great they look. 

Michelle Williams and Busy Philipps!
No but actually yes, right? Busy has the better dress but together they are the sequined cool girls of the red carpet. Michelle's even making that dumb piece of fabric around her neck work... almost!

Lily Tomlin!
Sure, it's a little casual but it fits great and her accessories are spot-on. Besides, it's refreshing to see flats on the red carpet.

Anthony Anderson (seen here with Alvina Stewart)!
He looks fantastic. Love the attention paid to shoe-lapel match detail.

Kimiko Glenn!
Dainty and sexy - red is a fabulous color on her. 

Courtney B. Vance!
CBV makes perfection look effortless. I love the tie size, especially in relation to lapel size. Expertly done.

Alia Shawkat!
I love the construction on this dress, I love the shoes with it, and my only wish would be for a necklace. But then, you knew that, didn't you?

Filliam H. Muffman!
As usual, they are stunning and everything is pretty much perfect with their looks. I'm honestly a little bit bored by this consistency but I am DELIGHTED by this prom pose. 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Golden Globes 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

We have once again arrived at the conclusion of our Golden Globes coverage. As always, I thank you for reading and remind you that WTF doesn't always mean it's bad... though this time around it mostly does. I delightedly present to you the weirdest looks of the night.


Carrie Underwood!
There are labial folds and then there are labial folds with roses, cutouts, and a plunging v-neck. Brava.

Sophie Turner!
I've watched enough Project Runway in my day to know a losing design when I see one. This is straight up "Don't bore Nina" fused with Taste Issues. You know what Tim Gunn would say, right? 

Kathryn Hahn!
Don't go for second best, Kathryn, put yourself to the test. You know you know you got to hem those pants half an inch higher and fire your stylist. 

Naomi Campbell!
This dress was clearly inspired by the Hot Wheels Speedtropolis Playset. 

Keri Russell!
W T actual F is happening!? The tiered, sheer animal print, the gigantic velvet choker, the aging madame makeup... it's quite a lot of look. 

Monica Bellucci! 
Super stoked for Monica Bellucci's Addams Family reboot.

Felicity Jones!
So what you're telling me is the bow is real but the ruffles and feathers are merely illusions? I do not understand the question and I won't respond to it. 

Michelle Williams!
This Holly Hobbie/Girl With the Red Ribbon look is excellent for when you absolutely positively do not even want the option of hugging people.

Chrissy Teigen!
There is a Christmas ornament I've always loved at my parents' house. It's an elaborate angel with painted on hair and gold foil stuck all over it and it's fairly conical. Chrissy Teigen is the exact replica of that ornament.

and finally.... hold on to your butts....

Nicole Kidman!
Oy with the sheer corset reveal. Perhaps the silver design is a tribute to Moana but, you know, more Ice Capades-y. Or the bottom of the dress is meant to be the foggy mountain tops and she is the goddess of rainwater, all of which is being pumped directly from the clouds beneath her her armpit. No matter what the message is, this is a Full Patton.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Golden Globes 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

To quote Rosie O'Donnell in one of my favorite throwaway lines from Sleepless in Seattle, "Now we're getting down to it." 


Sarah Jessica Parker!
What in the name of Carrie Bradshaw is happening here!? You can't just tack some sleeves and a belt on a Vera Wang wedding gown and call it a day. Or, I mean, you can and you did but ugh why!? Also, can someone please get her to stop lining all the way around her eyes? It gives an otherworldly effect in a non-flattering way. Unless we are going for an Alien Wedding In Hyperspace theme, none of this works for me.

Connie Britton!
When your hair is your signature feature, do not wear dresses that compete with your tresses! Girl, know your brand. Also that color is terrible on you.

Jonah Hill!
I know you think you're pulling this off, but you definitely are not. This is like one of those pictures in Highlights where you have to identify what's missing. Bowtie! Pocketsquare! Neck shave! Appropriate shoes! 

Rachel Bloom!
Not sure if I've attempted to prosthelytize you all about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend  but it is the best show with the worst name and I adore Rachel Bloom. Unfortunately Ms. Bloom appears to be afflicted by the same unfortunate condition as Debra Messing: she does not look good in black. Also not helping is that this lace feels mature on her.

Zoe Saldana!
This is the most sickeningly sweet, twee-est thing I've seen in some time. I mean, of course, until we get to Felicity Jones. 

Ruth Negga!
I have moved this dress from category to category, trying so desperately to love it and I just can't do it. I am most positively responding to Ruth Negga's casually flawless head. But the dress. Don't get me wrong, I love an exposed zipper and I think I would have loved this dress if the zipper was in the back. But the contrast at the collar and around the zipper makes it look cheaper, a little too simple, and it ends up giving a futuristic medical robe feel.

Sofia Vergara!
Look, sometimes you have to wear Liberace's second best tablecloth. I know I've said a million times that I'd love to see a different look on our Sofia, but I didn't mean like this.

La Klum!
She's got all the worst trends at once! Nude lipstick! Cutouts! Tea-length dress! With added bonus of Keith Haring wallpaper sample pattern and How Are Those Shoes Staying On Your Feet?!

Meryl Streep!
Once again Meryl Streep is wearing Favorite English Teacher couture. At least she's consistent. 

Jessica Biel!
This is the high fashion representation of new moms ending up in public with baby stuff stuck all over them. (Not that I would have liked it without all the bric-a-brac...)

Riley Keough!
I am not 100% sure who this person is but I am 1000% sure that this dress is a magic eye painting.

Brian Tyree Henry!
Department of That Jacket is Too Small for You, subsection You Can't Really Put Your Arms Down, Can You? I think it wouldn't be so bad if the sleeves were long enough and the bowtie wasn't so large. 

Cuba Gooding Jr.!
Department of That Jacket is Too Small for You, subsection OMG WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING?! Cuba, no. This is so bad. The tightness of the jacket has moved his tie from its original position. Most unfortunately the combination of too-small jacket with too-small glasses, and this specific haircut gives a distinct shrunken head feeling to the whole picture. I just can't.

Emily Ratajkowski!
This looks like a one way ticket to Accidental Reveal City. I'm concerned for you.

Sienna Miller!
Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.

Hailee Steinfeld!
Fussy curtains with boob outlines.

Anna Kendrick!
More boob outlines. Let's talk about this for real. Y'all - these are two different designers. If this boob outline situation becomes a trend I don't think I can handle it. I find it very hard to actually look at this gown, which is a damn shame because if we didn't have the boob detail, I would say this is the best Anna Kendrick has looked in a great while. However, with the outline and the one shoulder sash as such, it looks like her breasts were added in post. 

Amara Karan!
What would you do if your dress was eating you from the top and the bottom at the same time? This poor woman.

Natalie Portman!
Oy. This is another one who came dressed in theme with her movie. The main issue here is the color, right? If this was a purple or jade (or another color she wears well -NOT RED) I think I might be really into it. It's the hair that makes it really costumey. I also deeply hate her lip color. I guess what I'm trying to say is let's start over, Nat. Go home and just start over.