Universal Truths of Project Runway

Don't make that face, Andre - you've seen this show before.

* After you've put together your collection at home, you will have to create at least one more look when you get back to New York for Fashion Week. Please stop acting surprised.

* Whenever the button bag comes out, you have a problem. It's either a team challenge or you're losing your model.

* You will put together at least one look from materials you usually eat or use to decorate for a party.

* If Nina has decided you are boring, there is no way you are going to Fashion Week. In fact, it's just a matter of time before you clean up your workspace.

* There is a difference between "lovably kooky eventual winner of PR" (Jay, Christian, and I'm guessing Mondo) and "do you think s/he's actually on drugs???" (Elisa, Ping, Starr). The latter will go early.

* The Project Runway producers keep multiple buses parked just outside the studio specifically so designers may be thrown under them at any time by other designers.

* If Tim Gunn tells you something isn't working and you don't scrap it, you will live to regret it.

* Quip ratio, Michael:Nina:Heidi = 3:1:1

* If Nina gets in a quip about your look, you are getting the auf.

* You will have to design for a "real" woman at some point during the competition. (Please try not to talk about how much more fabric you need to buy because it makes the viewers feel sad.)

* There will always be someone who survives much longer than they should in the competition. And there will always be a Nora or an April who went home too soon.