Friday, October 22, 2010

A Sex Store in Manasses, who'd'a thunk it?

As I originally read over at Jezebel, residents in Manasses, Virginia are seriously displeased that an adult store has opened in their downtown area.

Okay, a few things about this. Firstly, why in the world would you not call this store Lady Parts and Man Asses (or similar)? The actual name of the store, KK's Temptations, is probably after the names of the mother-daughter team that own the store but I feel like they are missing a golden opportunity here.

That's another thing. I am very open with my mom and I can think of a few business ventures we could develop together but in no universe do I wish to run an adult accessory store with Mama Jacks! I can just see her face as we go through the catalogue and decide which brand of ball gags to carry and in what quantity.

The store seems to be a one stop shop for both practical and fantasy items. They sell lingerie, DVDs, bachelorette crap, toys, and even prosthetic boobs. From the outside, it kind of looks like a store in my tiny hometown where you could buy angel figurines or get a blanket monogrammed. You know, the place you shop before Mother's Day or Mom Mom's birthday. And it seems like that was a good move since the residents of Manasses (never not funny) seem to think that smut like this has no place in their community. From the article: Opponents of the store say one of their big concerns is that it's just a few doors down from the Center for the Arts. It's a place where childrens' plays are performed. There's an ad for “Charlotte's Web” on the door.

Oh, Manasses. Stop clutching your pearl necklaces (see what I did there?) and think of this as a positive: take your kids to see Charlotte's Web and then stroll down the street past the mom and pop sex shop. That way you can have a meaningful afternoon where your kids learn about death AND get to open a conversation about sex. Starting a conversation with your kids about sex out of curiosity rather than necessity? I think Charlotte herself would call that "Terrific."

1 comment:

  1. Just remember: Going south, Man-asses is above Dum-fries, but going north they got it right.

    Also yet another reason I love Man-asses... fat dude riding in the back of the truck with no helmet on 95. And yes, I still and will always have that picture.

    I also fear that Mama Jack would get too into selecting which dildos to carry if we were to open a store with her.

    That is all for now.