Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Discovering things people have known about for years!

This weekend I finally made it out to Honey's Sit N Eat in Northern Liberties. I've been meaning to go there for years but have had a million excuses like "it's always crowded" or "ugh, Northern Liberties." Well, this weekend my friend Bon was in town and suggested we check it out for brunch. Done and done!

Not to be all like GOOP but Bon is one of the most interesting people I know and we've been friends for double digits number of years. It's rare to maintain high school friendships, and I find it rarer still to maintain high school friendships where the conversation doesn't die after you've exhausted the updates about people you both used to know and laughed about all the old stories.

By the way - SIDEBAR- have you ever read GOOP? It's amazing. At first I thought it was the least self-aware vanity project I have ever read, but now I am convinced that Gwyneth Paltrow is just messing with us. The person who writes this...

This week’s GO on San Francisco is brought to you not only by myself, but by my local friends who I always consult when I am planning a trip there. Kelly, Erin, and Christy, the magnificent Turlington sisters, are Bay Area natives and always point me in the good stuff’s direction.


...either has no idea how "aren't I a cool celebrity?" she sounds, OR she's totally playing that up by name dropping in the most hilarious way. I am leaning toward the latter. GOOP amuses me far more than the Onion. It's totally worth reading.

-End of Sidebar-

The food at Honey's was totally awesome. I am not a big breakfasty foods person. In fact, if given the option, I would go for a breakfast of sides - bacon, home fries, and rye toast. I was delighted to find sandwiches on the Honey's brunch menu and ordered a sloppy joe. It was delightful and the fries were pleasantly crisp. Bon got something called a Breakfast Bomb, possibly just so he could say he had eaten a Breakfast Bomb. It looked like a breakfast taco - large pancake stuffed with cheese scrambled eggs and scrapple. Honestly, it looked awesome.

Here's the thing: Honey's was packed to the gills. We waited a little while for a table and even when we left a couple of hours later there was a line out the door. We opted to sit at the counter. Honey's is a BYO so we brought along a bottle of sparkling wine and ordered a pitcher of orange juice to make mimosas. We happened to sit right in front of the juicing machine and let me tell you - this thing is awesome. Every once in a while one of the Honey's staff would empty a box of oranges into the top of the machine and it would just work its magic, lining up the oranges into the chute and then extracting the juice in one fell swoop. It was collected directly into a pitcher and served to the patron. They are not kidding when they say freshly squeezed orange juice. I could have watched that juicer work for hours. Fantastic!

At the end of the meal, our server tried to tempt us with one of their amazing homemade cakes. They looked beyond delicious but we were stuffed full of comfort food and couldn't possibly be more comforted. I heartily recommend Honey's Sit N Eat, especially if you can get a view of the juicer.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Royal Wedding! Everybody freak out!

As a child of the 80s, Princess Diana was better for me than any of the Disney princesses. Well, maybe except for Belle, because she was smart and liked to read and gave us nerdy children hope that someday we could fall in love with some burly, hairy dude who didn't have any table manners and that with one tearful kiss he would transform into a total hottie. Other than Belle, Di was the best. She was a real, live princess and she had the most gloriously over-the-top wedding gown in the world.



Growing up my greatest literary hero was Anne Shirley, so all I see when I look at this is PUFFED SLEEVES. THE PUFFIEST. This dress is the stuff that 80s dreams are made of - OH! and the maxxed out way-past-cathedral-length veil? Yes! You go Princess Di!

Now we have an imminent royal wedding and all [fashion] eyes are on who will design Kate Middleton's gown. The leading contender appears to be Phillipa Lepley. I did a little research into the PL couture gowns (you're welcome) and here are a few examples.








Can we talk about how phenomenally dramatic that cape is in the last photo? It's like she has a thousand flowers keeping her shoulders warm. I doubt I would be able to pull it off, but I'm sure Kate could do it. Damn it, I require dramatic fashion in a royal wedding! That first dress is so elegant; can't you just see the future queen working that down the aisle? And the pretty flower detail on that middle dress is beyond romantic. I'm sure that whatever she chooses, Kate will look amazing on her wedding day. If she decides to go for something with puffed sleeves, though, bring the smelling salts because I will simply faint from happiness.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Turkey Time!

Don't you love it when there are universal holidays like Thanksgiving and the 4th of July so you don't have to remember anyone's name or pretend you are interested in their colon health? You can just have the same conversation a hundred times a day. "So, what are your Thanksgiving plans?" Even if someone says, "Well, I work at Toys R Us so I have to work at midnight," you have something to talk about! It's fantastic for the lazy and socially anxious.

Talk usually turns to food because Thanksgiving is not about giving thanks (or genocide and smallpox for that matter), it's about how your family makes stuffing. Like most people, I will tell you that my mom makes the best stuffing in the entire world. (The key is the potato bread.) It might be because I'm a Taurus and I flat-out reject change, but I just cannot understand people who try a new recipe for stuffing or cook the turkey a different way from year to year. Honestly, no one in my family eats the damn green bean casserole except my mom but we have to look at it every year. There are certain traditions that must be upheld.

When my sister and I were children, we were ridiculously fond of black olives. We would put them on all of our fingers and wave our strange alien hands at each other before eating all 10 black olives in the space of about 30 seconds. Therefore, black olives are always served at Thanksgiving.

Once during a holiday meal with extended family in my early teens, I just could not get enough of the brown and serve dinner rolls. After my meal, I went ahead and ate about 7 or so more rolls. They were delicious but all of that bread made me thirsty. So I followed it up with club soda. This was a mistake. You see the bubbles in the club soda caused the bread to expand in my stomach, which gave us all a glimpse of what a pregnant 13 year old looks like. I was in agony, my family was in stitches. I can expect to find the basket of rolls and a bottle of club soda on my plate at the start of the meal.

My family is the kind that will never ever let you live down something you did that was either embarrassing or hilarious. Some may find this bothersome, but I find it to be a comfort- they know me and they love me. Sometimes that love manifests itself in generosity, and sometimes that love manifests itself in rolls and club soda. And that's okay by me because OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I LOVE BROWN AND SERVE ROLLS.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Today in fashion.... this mess:


Oh, girl. Oh no.

Listen, I don't know anything about Ke$ha (seriously? $?) except that every time I look at red carpet arrivals for anything associated with popular music, she is the person that hurts me most. I mean, I can appreciate a woman who has a propensity toward props...



...but I mean, a tiki god walking stick? Severed head?! I only barely got through Psych 1, but I know a cry for attention when I see one. Between the dollar sign in the name and the tendency to wear unflatteringly "outrageous" red carpet get-ups, I am going to declare our friend Ke$ha a bit insecure.



Lady, why? It's not even a complimentary color of blue on you. Cobalt would have been much better.

And this:


I'm not sure what I'm even looking at. It's a little bit like Tawny Kitaen IS Rapunzel! (For the record, I would totally pay money to watch that movie, but only if it was like 20 minutes long and featured the music of Whitesnake.)

The lead photo up there is from the AMAs last night and honestly, if she's simply looking for attention, well, she got it. I have a feeling that she probably doesn't feel very pretty next to the starved and airbrushed women in the pop music industry, and maybe feels like she can't compete with some faux-pinup who shoots sparklers out of her boobs. (This is my C+ in Psych 1 talking.) Stop this madness! I would like to offer you this challenge, Ke$ha: try to make waves next time by showing up looking absolutely glamorous. Remember how shocked we all were by this?


One of my favorite Oscar looks of all time. Learn it, live it, love it, Ke$ha!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Harry Potter and the 30-Something Fans

All the tweens in the lobby of the movie theater, stressing out that they wouldn't get popcorn in time for previews, were in love with my Gryffindor sweatshirt and Sirius Black wand. More than a few girls were dressed in full Hogwarts gear - mostly Gryffindor but a few Slytherins. One of my companions wore his Hufflepuff tie (and carried Ginny Weasley's wand) and another companion wore her Harry Potter musical t-shirt. We are in our 30s. I saw a guy who looks like a high schooler but I know to be a recent college grad dressed as Dobby. We dubbed him Dobby in the Lobby (that band name has already been claimed so it's too late). Lots of improvised wands, lots of red and gold scarves.

I'm no film critic; I'm not going to tell you about the cinematography or anything. Above all, where the Harry Potter films are concerned, I only care about one thing: is this representing my beloved books well enough? I was not terribly happy about HP6 - especially the very much not canon Burrow scene. And, you know, same director...so I was nervous going in.

I'm here to tell you that they finally made a Potter film where they didn't really care about the people who only watch the movies. This is a film for devotees of the book. A lot of stuff is implied and hinted at that of course WE KNOW but only because we've read the book like a million times. And that, my friends, is exactly what I was hoping for.

I'm about to go into my favorite parts of the evening/movie, so please note that there are GIGANTIC SPOILERS ahead and just go ahead and stop now if you are like that.


* * * * *

* Let's start with the previews. I will be seeing The Green Lantern as soon as humanly possible. I never really understood the Ryan Reynolds "thing" until I saw that preview. Okay, I got it last year at the Oscars when he wore a beautiful Tom Ford suit, but I got it AGAIN.

* So so so glad they opened with Hermione obliviating her parents. That was incredibly touching and well done.

* Holy crap, all of the Weasley kids are hot. HOT. Of course, the twins will always be my kryptonite, but good goddamn Bill Weasley.



* The infiltration of the Ministry was pretty great. Absolutely loved the woman they got for Mafalda Hopkirk/Hermione. She did a fantastic job of acting like Hermione.

* I was not keen on the casting of Xenophilius Lovegood when Rhys Ifans was announced, but he totally rocked it. AND it made sense once I realized he is Welsh, as is the amazing girl who plays Luna. Love. Her.

* The Charity Burbage scene was pretty scary! In a good way!

* Similarly, the Bathilda Bagshot stuff was creepy and gross and well done. Hilariously, some big dude in our movie theatre RAN out of the theatre at the beginning of that scene and RAN back to his seat just in time for the journey up the stairs. Somebody didn't clear his bladder!

* Although I was dreading the tent sequence, they did a great job with it.

* Hermione's torture scene was amazing - super well done.

* The best part of the movie is DEFINITELY the telling of the tale of the three brothers. It was perfectly handled, could not have been done better.

* I have completely changed my mind on Dobby and now I love him.

* The final shot was a little too much "By the power of Grayskull, I have the power" for my tastes, but did what it was meant to do, I guess.

* As the screen went to black, some guy just yelled "WHAT"!? I suppose he hadn't read the books.

* When Ginny asks Harry to zip her dress, the guy in our group breathed "Whoa" while the women in our group muttered "Classic move." Haha! Well played - and hilarious George reaction, also.

I have so many other thoughts but I'll leave it here for now. Hooray for Harry Potter!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Happy Harry Potter Week!


This photo is not mine. It belongs to this person but it is too hilarious not to share.

Hooray hooray! It's finally time for Deathly Hallows Part 1 to come out! I am not so secretly relieved that the producers couldn't get the 3-D together in time for the release of this film because 3-D gives me a headache and I feel it is terribly unnecessary. Of course this opens the window for them to make even more money by re-releasing HP7.1 IN 3-D right before HP7.2.... right?

So, the truth of it all is that I am enormous fan of the Harry Potter series. It captured my imagination like very few other series have and has a strangle-hold on me...just like Peter Pettigrew's silver hand. So I will be the 30 year old woman in the South Philadelphia movie theatre at 12:03 AM Thursday/Friday wearing a Gryffindor sweatshirt and trying to negotiate carrying popcorn, soda, and a wand. Hilarity is bound to ensue.

I decided to dig up my predictions of what would happen in the 7th book, just for funsies. I started an online reading group via LiveJournal to re-read all 6 books in anticipation of the 7th coming out and it was a lot of fun. If you haven't read the 7th book and don't want to be spoiled, I guess stop here. But also, I mean - come on. It came out 3 years ago. How have you not read it?

My predictions for what would happen in the 7th book (with original comments):

1. Hogwarts will re-open.
2. Snape will die.
3. Ron will die. (sniff!)
4. That wedding is going to be a bloodbath.
5. Neville will kick some Bellatrix ass.
6. Snape will sacrifice himself in some way so that Harry can defeat Voldy.
7. Nagini will put up a fight.
8. The house elves will be important (boooooooooooooo)
9. Lily Potter worked in the Love room in the Dept. of Mysteries.
10. The last Horcrux is something we've never seen.
11. In the end, Harry will wake up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette.

Okay, let's analyze.

1. Yup but now the bad guys run it.
2. Yes again (I am so smart), and his death leads to my absolute favorite chapter of all the books, "The Prince's Tale."
3. NO! Thank God. Somehow, though, I think losing Fred is worse. This may or may not be influenced by the fact that I think the boys who play the Weasley twins are stone cold foxes. Oh! And one of the reading group members totally predicted that one of the twins would, in her words, "eat it."
4. Thanks to Kingsley's Patronus warning, most were able to disapparate before the Deatheaters got there. It was close, though.
5. Sort of? Okay, he doesn't get to actually kick her ass, but he does get some pretty sweet moments - especially with the hat and the sword and the snake.
6. Sort of? Eh, I'm not sure if I can shoehorn that prediction into what actually happened.
7. Um, literally! The scene in Bathilda Bagshot's house is horrifying. While I personally feel that it was hastily written and I wish that there was a little more time spent on the scene so it didn't seem to be over so quickly, Nagini coming out of the body is one of the scariest moments in that series. If the scene is not absolutely sickening then the director has done it wrong.
8. Totally. But! I turned my feelings around on Dobby! In the end, I actually cried for him.
9. No idea. Lily was fleshed out a little bit but not much at all.
10. WRONG-O. I could not have been more wrong on that one.
11. Sadly, no.

All of this is to say, NOBODY EXPECTS THE 400 PAGES IN A TENT.

On Friday, I'll give my thoughts on the movie so don't look if you don't want to know. I'll definitely be writing about where they chose to leave the cliffhanger.

Wishing Well - approved!

This past weekend I took My Dear Friend to Wishing Well in the Italian Market (9th and Catherine) for brunch. My Dear Friend (MDF) and I discussed giving her a code name but I was taking advantage of the bottomless bloody mary bar and I don't remember what the code name was. Oh yes, you heard that right:

Bottomless Bloody Mary Bar

What's that you say? You don't like a bloody mary? Un-American though you may be, Wishing Well realized that not everybody likes their brunch cocktails with spice and also offers:

Bottomless Mimosas

For $15, you choose one of the two options and they just keep bringing you booze - it's genius. MDF went with the mimosas, pleasantly light orange. I have to say that I guess I didn't realize at first that there was a "fix your own bloody mary" thing going on, so I was a little confused when the (adorable, dreadlocked) waitress brought me A LARGE GLASS OF VODKA. The fixins are great - you can choose their pre-made mix (which is for amateurs), or they also give the following options (among others):
Tomato juice
hot sauce
worcester sauce
horseradish
celery salt
onion powder
old bay seasoning
pepper
olives
limes
lemons
celery stalks
pickled okra
aaaand probably a lot of other spices I ignored

MDF, a vegetarian, ordered the peppers and egg sandwich with roasted potatoes (they say home fries on the menu, but it's really those smallish quarters of potato). I ordered the burger with swiss cheese and fries. With places that offer these kinds of brunch beverage deals, I sort of expect the food to be lackluster. WRONG. Wishing Well is a find. Both sandwiches were served on the same toasted-and-crisp-on-the-outside, soft-and-delicious-on-the-inside Sarcones kaiser rolls. MDF reported her sandwich to be amazing and "not too eggy-tasting." As a person who doesn't like eggs, I appreciate that kind of an assessment. The burger was fantastic - hand-formed, juicy, and cooked to just medium, just the way I like it. In the middle of the burger was a surprise- curry powder. It was a nice little kick to shake things up in the middle of a delicious burger. The fries were great, and MDF reported that NOT ONE of the roasted potatoes on her plate were less than perfectly cooked. That, friends, is a miracle. We all expect roasted potatoes to come out with some of them being a little burnt and some being too hard and undercooked. Not this place. We were in love.

And then, after having our fill of bottomless drinks, MDF spent some money in Fante's and I bought boots. And then I took a nap. THE END.



Go to Wishing Well!

Monday, November 15, 2010

BOOTS

So, remember when I was like "ooh, maybe I will get Docs and wear them with dresses!" last week? I totally got stuck in the 90s (in my head) and updated my Geocities page instead of this one! Just kidding, my Geocities page is looooong gone. It was a tribute to Molly Ringwald. Of course it was.

Anyway, sorry I disappeared last week but I have great news. I boughts boots! And after thinking about the Docs and Dresses argument for a while, I decided it would be more prudent to drink 4 bloody marys and then go to a local boot store and shop on impulse. And I ended up with these...



As my sister said after I texted her a picture of them, "It's love."


Thanks to the girls at Puss in Boots in the Italian Market! You ladies have some fabulous stuff in there!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Boots... and doomed couples

I was totally going to write a fashion post about boots but my brain is working overtime, so here's how the chain goes...

Hmmm, I need to buy new boots.
I think I'll buy some cowboy boots.
I should go to Puss in Boots for them.
OR I could get some Docs. I haven't worn Docs in years.
Maybe I could pull off Docs instead of cowboy boots.
Oooh! Docs and dresses! I remember Docs and dresses!
Will I look like I'm wearing a 1992 costume?
Oh man, remember how awesome Winona Ryder looked in Reality Bites?
I love that movie.
I bet Troy and Lelaina broke up in hideous fashion after the end of that movie.

And so, instead of the great boot debate (which you are welcome to weigh in on, cowboy or Docs?) - I present to you a partial list of doomed movie couples.

Troy and Lelaina from Reality Bites

He's immature and she doesn't know what she wants. Eventually I think she will find out that she wants someone who showers at least once a week. Prediction: I think they'll last for about a year and then someone will throw something at the other one's head.

Dorothy Boyd and Jerry Maguire from Jerry Maguire

Oh man, where to start? He asks her to marry him so she won't move to a different city. She is totally in love with him so she says yes. Miraculously, they go through with the marriage. And then, once they are married, he does pretty much everything in his power to avoid her. And she wises up just in time for him to decide he actually does like her after all. And when he gets back, he tries to step up and apologize but she stops him, saying that it was good enough that he just showed up. And with that, DOROTHY, you are basically giving him permission to start this ugly cycle all over again. Prediction: Divorce is imminent, and that cute kid is about to enter the awkward stage.

Cliff and Janet from Singles

By the way, have you started figuring out what kinds of movies I like? I realized that I have 3 movies by the same director on this list, so I'll just put em all in the middle. Stop 2 on the Cameron Crowe tour of doomed love is Janet Livermore and Cliff "Citizen Dick" Poncier, those crazy Seattlites. Now, I have to say that I have a lot of faith in another couple in this same movie - I'm pretty sure that Steve and Linda make it in the long run - but these two are hopeless. They don't really want to be with each other, they just don't want to be alone. She almost gets a boob job for him? He thinks that simply saying "bless you" will get the girl? AND THEN IT DOES!? Prediction: I give them a month. Tops.

Diane Cort and -who else?- Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything

I have been saying for years that I think Lloyd Dobler would be the most annoying person in the world to date. Sure he's cute and all, but he's needy and lacks motivation. All he wants to do is be a good date. He actually says this out loud to people. Just that - be a good date. Honestly, Dobler. Oh, and another thing! Kickboxing is not the sport of the future. Prediction: They get to London, Diane realizes this is a huge mistake but can't get rid of him. They keep sleeping together but they aren't happy about it. Lots of tears from Dobler.

Joel and Clementine from Eternal Sunshine

Okay, this is kind of a cheat because the entire movie is about how they are a doomed couple but they keep running back to each other, whether they know it or not. I'm just sort of impressed that this movie made me sexually attracted to Jim Carey; that simply didn't seem possible. Prediction: Repeated memory wipes, repeated first kisses, repeated tortured love affairs. You know, the end of the movie.


Now, of course, we should probably balance it out and cleanse the palate with a couple of movie couples who I believe will make it work.

Martin and Debi from Grosse Pointe Blank

These two went through a hell of a lot from high school to high school reunion. If she can forgive him and he can make a career change, they are going to be just fine. Though I don't feel like it's a good idea for Martin to stop going to therapy.

Barry and Lena from Punch Drunk Love

The only way this wouldn't end up working out is if she gets too tired of helping him learn how to exist as a human being. For the record, this is one of my favorite movie couples and I don't think I will ever get over the bedroom scene where they are talking about eating each other's faces. For my money, that is true love right there - letting your freak flag fly right in front of another person and then getting to kiss them. Anyone who lets you kiss them after you say you want to eat their eyeballs is a true match.

Friday, November 5, 2010

November 5! A big day!

I don't know if anyone realizes just how special November 5th is. Firstly, it's Diwali, the other festival of lights. It signifies (very generally speaking, here) the victory of good over evil. I can get behind that.

Today is also Guy Fawkes Day/Bonfire Night, celebrating the failed Gunpowder Plot in Great Britain (typical assassination attempt). There's an awesome little rhyme for the day...

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.


But there's something else important today. Thanks to my dear friend Anthony and the magic of Facebook, today you must remember this: "November 5, 1955: Doc Brown falls in the bathroom, hitting his head, and comes up with the idea for the flux capacitor." Thank god, because otherwise how in the world would we have found out just how gross it is when your mom tries to make out with you!? He writes...

Remember, remember the fifth of November
Doc Brown falls in the john
I see no reason why Doc Brown's concussion
should ever be forgot


And yes, Anthony is available for all of your party needs.

Halloween Sexy Costume Update

Thank god for Sexy _______ costumes on Halloween, even if the party I attended veered more toward the hilarious than the sexy. The best costumes at the party were a couple of ladies who came as sister wives. Everyone went crazy over their denim jumper dresses! I chose to be....



But! In a moment of genius a friend of mine suggested I go as Sexy Sue Sylvester! So I swapped track pants for track shorts and instead of wearing sneakers, I wore silver platform pumps. Alas, I have no photographic proof, but believe me when I say that Sexy Sue Sylvester was a hit.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Doing the unthinkable

I can't believe I'm saying this but I just canceled my Netflix subscription. It's about damn time, too! I have had the same two movies for the last year and a half. Those movies are: Slumdog Millionaire and Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten. I watched about half of the Joe Strummer documentary but never really felt like I was in the mood for it and just never finished it. I love Joe Strummer, but apparently I don't love him enough to sit through a full 123 minutes of his life. Slumdog Millionaire, on the other hand, was never even removed from the waxy sleeve bearing its name and synopsis. Let this stand as proof that awards do not sway my viewing habits. I also haven't seen Avatar, you guys, and I'm pretty sure my life is fine.

I'm trying to see if perhaps there are other American cultural institutions I can reject just for fun. Suggestions welcome (but I'll never give up my Weight Watchers subscription)!

Fritos

I totally ate Fritos with my lunch today. I love Fritos for being the saltiest snack ever created. But now, an hour after lunch, I am suffering because Fritos - as it turns out- are the saltiest snack ever created. I am trying to drink as much water as possible so my body doesn't turn into prosciutto.

If you're like me and love Fritos, you might love Frito pie. Here's how it goes:
You get a little bag of Fritos.
Open it.
Spoon in some delicious chili.
Top with cheese.
Grab a spork and a beer.
ENJOY!

Monday, November 1, 2010

I don't have a lot of civil words to share on this topic

I'monna say it out loud: MONDO WAS ROBBED.

Take a look at some of the "on trend" winning looks from Gretchen:






Compare with some of the losing looks from Mondo:





ROBBED. ROBBED. ROBBED. ROBBED.