Tuesday, June 21, 2011

file under: DUH!

According to the Trojan U.S. Sex Census (I'll just call it the Sexsus), Philadelphians are having the best sex in the country! Of course, this was reported with a pinch of disbelief by the L.A. Times.
Philadelphia ranked 10th in sex frequency at 99 times per year, but was No. 1 for satisfaction level at 82%. Go figure.

Go figure? Go figure?! Oh, I see. We're all fat cheesesteak people who like to throw things at Santa and there's no way we could possibly be sexually satisfied. Philebrity did some math for y'all, and included some colorful language to boot!
If we’re getting the math on this right, this means that you people are having 82% of your brains fucked out roughly every 3.6 days.

That's pretty good, guys! May I suggest a new "With Love" for the tourism board?

Dear Looking for Excellent Sex,
We're number 1! We're number 1!
With Love,

Enjoy this moment, Philadelphians, and keep it up.* Do your best to celebrate the first day of summer by having extremely satisfying - PROTECTED - sex. The Trojan Sexsus will settle for nothing less.

*pun intended

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