Monday, May 30, 2011

Jogging in Lipstick: Rules 24 and 25

Happy Memorial Day! Let's celebrate with some Rules!

Rule 24:
Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children

Don't talk about your kids too much, don't introduce your kids to every person you date, don't make him worry about your kids, DO make him earn the privilege of meeting your kids.

BS Meter:
I have no idea. I don't have kids. I think, yeah, duh, it's a good idea not to parade every potential suitor in front of your children. That's probably totally confusing for them. But...

Points of Interest:
When you meet a man at a dance or social situation, it isn't really necessary to mention your children at all. Let him take your phone number, then wait until he calls for you to gently weave it into the conversation. Don't say in a serious tone, "I need to tall you something." Remember in Rule 19: Don't Open Up Too Fast, we advise you to tell him about yourself very informally. Just casually say, "Oh that's my son playing the piano," or something like that.

Again with going to dances! What is it with these ladies?
But remember that there are plenty of single fathers out there who want to remarry. So go to PTA meetings with a smile on your face and wearing a nice outfit.

You'll probably still need that nose job, though, right?

Meg's Alternate Rule:
I feel like my alternate rules are turning into one long string of Be Honest. That said, I totally agree that you should probably not introduce the kids until it's something kind of serious. That just makes good sense.

Rule 25:
Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)

Filler and rehash of what we've already learned. But! In this chapter it is revealed that you can use The Rules for friends, family members, and in the office.
If you think of The Rules as a manual for life rather than simply as rules for getting married, you might do them more often. Then, when you meet the man of your dreams, you'll have had plenty of Rules practice.

BS Meter:
Oh, Ellen and Sherrie. Don't tell me that if things are strained with my sister that I should not call her but simply return her calls. Or that if I say hello to the babysitter first that she will take advantage of me and leave me feeling empty. Listen, if a babysitter is leaving you feeling hurt and empty, you are probably having an inappropriate relationship with the babysitter.

Points of Interest:
It's not necessary to have a high IQ to do The Rules, just a certain degree of determination. In fact, highly educated girls have the hardest time with The Rules. They tend to think all this is beneath them.

BINGO. I am a highly educated, judgmental bitch-slut. Thanks for pointing that out. Same quote continued...
They'll say, "I went to graduate school, I'm not playing these games," or "I'm in management. I believe in being up front with men about my needs, my opinions, and who I really am. I refuse to be demure and smile when I don't feel like it."

wait wait wait - it's about to get REALLY good...
If you think you're too smart for The Rules, ask yourself, "Am I married?" If not, why not? Could it be that what you're doing isn't working?

Or could it be that you've dated a bunch of idiots who don't deserve your open, honest communication about needs and opinions? I don't know, just a highly educated guess. But also, these ladies seem to imply that if you're stupid, you'll be just fine. How insulting! A lady bought your dumb book and now you're just laughing in her face. $10 well spent.

Meg's Alternate Rule:
To quote the Sassy Gay Friend, "Look at your life, look at your choices." As I cautiously stick my baby toes into the dating waters for the first time in years, I'm doing a lot of thinking about habits I fell into in the past and things I'd like to change to find deeper fulfillment in my life. Not necessarily in my dating life, but I think it's probably going to bleed over. That reminds me. I have to go call my sister. Not because we have a strained relationship but because I want to. Try to stop me, Rules Girls.


  1. Yes, always call your sisters and your parents and be honest with them and your family. Open up to them and save a small fortune not having to go to therapy, not to mention that the people you love will really know you and not some calculating, sweet young lady you've put together! Diabolical. I truly believe in being an open book. Surprises are more fun when they are fun.

  2. And you couldn't have called at a better time! Best. Sister. Ever.