Friday, May 20, 2011

Fire and Brimstone!!!!

So let's just say that there is some great clerical error in the sky and I do end up getting taken tomorrow in the Rapture. I mean, obviously that's not going to happen for many, many reasons but let's just pretend. There are so many things I will never get to do! Let's go down the list, shall we?

* Get married
* Have kids
* Own a house/car/dog/Pucci print scarf/Guns N Roses Greatest Hits
* Pay off my student loans (no really, I am looking forward to that!)
* Buy a big girl bed*
* Not sleep on dog sheets as a single woman in her 30s**
* Get vajazzled (oh, ps guys, you can now penazzled [thanks to Robert for the correct term])
* Have plastic surgery
* Do a cleanse
* Get involved in a celebrity scandal
* Wear a gown by Oscar de la Renta or Armani Privé
* Learn all the words to It's The End of the World As We Know It
* Buy PartyLite merchandise
* Figure out how to enjoy eating eggs
* Go grey...down there
* Learn how to pronounce Koyaanisqatsi
* Play Farmville/CafeWorld/etc.
* Follow The Rules.

But perhaps the truest and most disturbing thing is that I'd never have the chance to see the final Harry Potter film. I suppose that will save me from getting entirely too upset about things they change and scoffing under my breath, "Pssht. NOT CANON." Enjoy the Rapture, my dear 6 readers! See ya Monday!

*Seriously. Right now I sleep in a twin daybed that my sister was kind enough to lend me. I call it my giant baby crib. I am totally buying myself a big girl bed for my birthday, though.
** On the giant baby crib? Flannel sheets with very cute French bulldogs on skis, wearing sweaters. I love these sheets very much but... giant baby crib + flannel dog sheets = Miss Havisham at 31.


  1. It's only noon. You have plenty of time to do several of these things before the rapture and shorten your list. Seize the day my friend! Carpay Dee-em!

    See you on the flip ;-)

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  3. Whitney! Come to Philly! I'm getting married in an hour! But first I'm getting vajazzled! Hurry!!!

  4. hey! you should be glad I lent you my old couch/guest bed! Otherwise you'd be sleeping on the floor. And I love the bulldogs.

  5. I am very glad you lent it to me! I do think it's funny, though. And I like to call it my Giant Baby Crib.

  6. can we please have a picture of the bulldogs in skirts? I want those...