Welcome back to work, friends! Mondays are painful, but the Monday after a holiday weekend is especially painful. I'm already through my coffee and half a bottle of water, trying desperately to ignore the caramel popcorn I know is hidden in my desk drawer. Why? Because I am resolute! I am going to be a woman who Eats Sensibly and Goes To Yoga Twice A Week and Goes To The Gym On Days When I Don't Have Yoga. I am going to Do All Of My Work and Read Important Literature Instead Of Simply Throwing The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Across The Room In Frustration. That way, I can have Interesting Things To Say At Cocktail Parties when I get to Go To Cocktail Parties.
I am going to Forgive Those Who Hurt Me and Forgive Myself For Hurting Others. I am going to be the Best Daughter/Sister/Dancer At The Wedding and all will know I am resolute by the way I Drink Less and Seriously, Actually Eat Vegetables and Fruits. I am excited by the prospect of Moisturizing Every Day Instead Of Just Looking At Scaly Legs And Shaking My Head At Them Like They Are Misbehaving. I am going to Buy A Big Girl Bed and Attempt To Actually Develop A Decorating Scheme In My Home. I am going to Discover A New Band That Has Put Out Music Since 2003 and I am very, very serious about Spending More Time Alone But Not Neglecting My Friends.
I am going to be the Greatest Person Alive this year. And that also means Updating Way Too Shay In A Timely Manner Each Day. Fasten your seatbelts, friends. It's 2011.