Well, fight fans, I collected the images of The Good, The Bad, and The Meh from the 2011 Golden Globes and have it here for you in three very large posts. I never really feel like I can leave people out (though, you will see, I certainly did)...so these are some big ole posts. We'll start with The Meh and then go on to The Good and finish out with The Bad. The deliciously, amazingly bad. I mean come on: mismatched shoes. Amazing. I even managed to pull the boys into my fashion round-up this time. Get excited.
But first! The Meh!
BOOM! Bet you didn't see that one coming! While I was tickled...green by seeing a lot of this color on the red carpet this year, this one was not a favorite for me. It's weirdly blousy around her midsection, and the sequins look a little cheap to me. The hair looks okay in this photo, but on screen it looked thin and sweaty. Don't look sweaty on the red carpet, ladies! (Also, did you notice how weirdly clingy she was being during the show? It was either clingy-clingy while Brad looked bored, or she was reapplying lip gloss.)
Snoozefest with stupid tattoo and terrible shoes. Thank god she has mastered the art of SexyFace, though. Otherwise I wouldn't have known it was her.
While I'm sure we're all very glad that Nicole can move her face again, I'm not sure this shade of cream is the most flattering for her. It's not awful, but it's not good either. And the twee little bow only draws my attention to her belly. Not that she has a belly, but once I get a glimpse of that bow, all I can do is look for non-existent pooch. Oh, and Keith? That hairstyle is not working for you.
Until 5 seconds ago, I was under the impression that girlfriend's name was Milla Jokovich. Seriously. Where did that other v come from? Also, until the night of the Golden Globes I was not aware that Ms. Milla was the coy villain in a grand ballroom scene from Dynasty. "Why Alexis Carrington, wouldn't you like to know!?"
Oh god, really? Shades of this pink kept popping up on the red carpet and it just reminds me too much of blush and bashful. Of course we know that blush and bashful are two entirely different shades of pink, but on the red carpet they all look the same way: amateurish. This could have been saved if the color proportions were swapped. And if the bottom didn't look like a fancy sarong. And if there was a necklace.
Here's what went right: hair, cut and structure of dress. Here's what went not right: blush/bashful pink, and ugh that makeup. We'll call it a draw.
Jennifer Love Hewitt!
I have a great deal of affection for JLoHew but this get-up just screams I AM READY TO GET MARRIED! OH GOD PLEASE SOMEONE MARRY ME! Unlike when Kate Hudson in the Marchesa bridal at last year's Golden Globes (which, for the record came off as "You could have had this, suckah"), Miss Thing here has too much going on. The floofy hair, the unflattering waistband, the "underwater vagina" representation on the bust... You know, what? I should have put her in The Bad category.
Nice try, Jenna. Great color and cute torso but I'm going to need you to go back to the beginning and try it without the ruffles and a different eye shadow.
Soooooooo close. Great hair, great color, great dress and then there's the RUFFLE. Ugh, Hendricks. Haven't we talked about this?
The woman is in incredible shape. But there's something off about this that I can't quite put my finger on. It could be the severe hair, the lack of bracelet (I've never bemoaned a lack of bracelet before!), the eye makeup... I don't know, it just seems not quite polished.
It's getting better every time, but she's still not there yet. Personally, I could have done without the ostrich feathers at the bottom, and maybe I would have axed that bracelet. Or at least done something that wasn't so heavy. I am very glad she won an award, though - she totally deserves it! Halfway to EGOT, Jane! Step it up.
Whoa. If not for the tan lines, I would just think she was topless. So, I guess, way to go swimsuit?
The thing that concerns me (besides the lip color) is how satisfied she seems with this look. Without the bow, it's just a boring black dress. With the bow, it's not cute. You guys, here's the thing: this is an Oscar de la Renta. I feel betrayed, somehow.
OH MY GOD IT'S ANOTHER OSCAR DE LA RENTA GOWN THAT I DON'T CARE FOR! What is the world coming to, I ask you? Why is this dress blush/bashful? Why is the cocktail ring my favorite part of the ensemble? World... crumbling.
I have read so much Go Fug Yourself in this lifetime that now every time I see JLo all I can think is, "Hola, lovers!" The actual dress itself would be fine, if a little snoozy, if left alone and perhaps paired with a bit of a bigger hairstyle. But then there's that... sheer cape. Excuse me, bedazzled sheer cape. What can I say except ay, Dios mio!