SAG Awards 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

My dear readers, you already know that I grade on a curve. Someone who usually disappoints can get bumped up into the Good pile with a simpler look (cough*mandymooregoldenglobes*cough). This also means I'm harsher on those who usually stun. Case in point, our first entry today.

THE MEH

Lupita Nyong'o!

There is no arguing that her head is perfection but we must address the rest. Aside from the fact that this is Couture Pig-Pen Part 2 (following in the footsteps of La Kidman at the Globes), it's just too tight on top to the point that it looks uncomfortable. It also definitely could use a necklace.

Allison Janney!

I really almost love this - truly! It's just those little nubbin shoulder pads bump this ever so slightly from glam to sci fi formal.

Reese Witherspoon!

I like the idea of the top but want the sleeves positioned a little higher to give more a soft v neckline (not a scoopneck, not yet a vneck, if you will). My main problem with this is that it appears to be too tight in the thighs - either that or the material is terrible, also possible. 

Dascha Polanco!

This is a big step up for Dascha's red carpet looks but it is unfortunately a little too long on her and she sat down in the limo. That said, her hair and makeup are better than ever. Keep going in this direction, Dascha!

Olivia Munn!

I am kind of only including Olivia Munn here so we can discuss that horribly embarrassing text exchange between her and Anna Faris that she somehow decided was appropriate to share with IG. Anyway, the skirt shape is wonky here, I would prefer to see more movement.

Mandy Moore!

I miss the Delia*s catalogue too, Mandy.

Niecy Nash!

The fit on this gown is absurdly good but what I wouldn't give to see it without the rumba sleeves. If you can picture it without sleeves, this look is perfection.

Holly Hunter!

I like everything from the nose up and the waist down but in the middle it looks like an ill-fitted vest with no lipstick. 

Kristen Bell!

It's fine if a little snoozy. CUAN.

Brie Larson!

Yes, Brie, we are all excited to see you as Captain Marvel. Should we expect to see you red, gold, and blue until the next Avengers movie comes out? Just want to be prepared.  

Milo Ventimiglia!

Slightly too-small wedding tux from 1978. And yet somehow it almost works!

Sydelle Noel!

Oooh I love everything about this except how wide the top reaches. Also Sydelle Noel is an expert with chiffon on the red carpet - you can tell from the movement in the photograph that she knows how to flourish between shots!

Kelly Marie Tran!

While the construction on the skirt is unexpected, it does seem to make this look a little like upholstery - a real shame because the fabric is gooooooooooooorgeous. I'd also switch out those earrings for some big pink gemstone studs (rose quartz maybe as a cute nod to her character Rose?) and add a delicate gold necklace - nothing too eye-catching as we don't want to compete with the dress.

Taylor Schilling!

The dress is a snooze but the makeup is the thing that'll make you jump back and say GAH! Taylor, did you insult your makeup artist or something?

Chrissy Metz!

The color is stunning and I like the dress other than the part where flowers flow freely from her nipple. I'd go with a slightly brighter lip.

Connie Britton!

How is it possible that a rose gold sequined dressing gown is boring me so much?

Jackie Cruz!

Jackie Cruz is living her snuffleupagus-style cinderella fantasy! I wish this fantasy fit her bust and didn't have a double headband plastered over her bangs. Truly, I wish. More than anything. More than life.

Rita Moreno!

Our Rita looks great in her silk flower bolero jacket and (okayyyy, slightly too long) red gown! But here's the thing: big earrings AND a big necklace AND a big cuff AND a big ring? WOWZA, that is a lot of look. I'd personally ditch the cuff and the necklace. How about you?



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