Golden Globes 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The Good!

Welcome to our high holy days! It's once again awards show season and I am once again delighted to critique the sartorial decisions made by people who have tons of privilege and access to fabulous gowns and accessories and yet still decide to wear glorified bathing suits with sheer tablecloths over them. If you're new to Way Too Shay, welcome! I do not critique non-celebs and the only comments I'll make about the kids are if they look great. This is because normals aren't typically able to borrow gowns and jewels from designers and stylists and that's not fair...and because children are children and I'm not an actual monster.

You likely noticed that almost everyone was in black last night. This was a show of solidarity with Time's Up, an organization aiming to address "the systemic inequality and injustice in the workplace that have kept underrepresented groups from reaching their full potential." I'm hopeful this group will be able to bring about some real change (not just in entertainment) and it was nice to see such solidarity, sartorially anyway. But, my dear readers, just because people dressed in black does not mean we have nothing to talk about.

THE GOOD

Oprah!

We begin with our queen and rightful leader, Oprah. This is as close to perfection as I've ever seen her look. Great dress, great hair, great glasses, lip color to die for, great bling, and most importantly great speech. Bow down, everyone. 

Elisabeth Moss!

She was clearly going for a very specific, very demure (almost puritanical) look and you know what? She's doing the damn thing!

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson!

Obviously, Mr. "The Rock" Johnson requires a bespoke suit but boy howdy does this one fit him perfectly or what? Gorgeous. 

Angelina Jolie!

Is this Not-So-Contrite-Recent-Widow-Trying-To-Bang-the-Investigating-Detective-in-a-Pulp-Novel territory? Absolutley. And I am here for all of it.

Greta Gerwig!

I am not usually a fan of the one-shoulder look but this is really working for me and I really love that necklace. 

Franco 1!

Totally fine! Everything seems to be in order here!

Franco 2!

My preferred Franco look of last evening. Digging the bedazzled lapels. You go Franco 2!

Ava DuVernay!

Speaking of bedazzled! I am delightedly surprised by how well she wears the exaggerated shoulders on this dress. Ava looks fabulous. 

Ricky Martin!

Yup. Fits great, perfect amount of scruff, love the ring.

Zac Efron!

Yup. Fits great, could have done with a little more scruff but it's ok. This is an appropriately sized bowtie for the size of his head.

Roseanne Barr!

She looks absolutely great. I love this dress, I love the hair, love the earrings. Not sure what's happening with the bag but let's move on.

Taika Waititi!

There is not much to say here. This is a man who consistently dresses well. 

Liev Schreiber!

Looks great, no notes.

Mandy Moore!

Well well well, what do you know? Mandy Moore got it together! Though I wish the skirt was slightly less rumpled (don't know if you can see that on your screen), this is better than she's looked in some time. Well done, Mandy.

Eric Wareheim!

Here's a dude I expected to look like a mess on the red carpet. I WAS WRONG. The bowtie is a little too small but I'll forgive that with a classic wave and kiss.

Sterling K. Brown!

Here's a dude I expected to look great on the red carpet. I WAS NOT WRONG. All of America is in love with this guy, right?

Gal Gadot (seen here with Yaron Versano)!

It seems improbable to me that a human being actually looks like Gal Gadot and yet here we are. What a time to be alive!

Common!

Speaking of impossibly beautiful humans, as usual Common is flawless on the red carpet.

Ansel Elgort!

Everything appears to be in order here.

Alexander Skarsgard!

Very well done.

Daniel Kaluuya!

Perfection.

Neil Patrick Harris!

Effortlessly on point.

Zoe Kravitz!

I'm not normally won over by a strapless column dress that could use a necklace but this look really knocks my socks off. The dress fits her like a dream, the lip color is exactly right, and those earrings carry the whole look.

Anthony Anderson (seen here with Alvina Stewart)!

Always one of my favorite red carpet couples and, as usual, Anthony looks fantastic. I am really digging that wide lapel with the brooch.

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson!

One of my favorite Hollywood couples. THanks looks perfectly fine. While I am a huge fan of fireworks, I am not 100% into Rita's dress but all of that melts away when you look at her IG and see that she was having the greatest time ever at the Golden Globes. Do I follow Rita Wilson on IG? Yes I do. Is it worth it? Pretty much always.

Samira Wiley!

Sure, she's wearing an extremely confusing floating chest piece situation, but I think I'm into it. The dress fits her gloriously and this is the best her head has looked perhaps ever. 

Octavia Spencer!

This photo was clearly taken mid-blink but she looks gorgeous. I love this fit and flare silhouette in tea length - it's cute and fun and really working for me. 

Mimi!

Mimi is having one hell of a great start to 2018. First she put on that big fur coat and sang well on New Year's Eve (even though no one brought her hot tea - FOR SHAME) and now she's rolling up to the Golden Globes in this excellent mermaid gown. Well done, Mariah. I hope everyone brings you tea everywhere you go for the rest of this year.

Viola Davis!

Best look of the night for me. This dress fits her beautifully, her head looks damn near perfect, and THAT is what I call a necklace (or twelve)! Amazing look.