Friday, May 9, 2014

Met Ball 2014 Fashion Rundown: The WTF

As always, the Met Gala has the highest number of WTF entries of the red carpets we cover here at WTS. That is because these people are insane and also because COUTURE. Shall we see what our dear sweet daffy celebs have in store for us? I think we shall.


Sari Mercer (seen here with Chiwetel Ejiofor)!
What fresh hell is this? No really, please tell me. I don't see any reason at all to come to the Met Ball dressed as Great Aunt Bea's fussiest guest room and carrying the bag version of Stephanie Seymour's dress. I'll give her this: excellent arm candy.

This outfit actually makes me mad at Rihanna because there is absolutely no reason this should be seen outside of a Janet Jackson video circa 1994 AND because there is absolutely no reason she should be able to actually make it look good. WTF, Rihanna?!

Kirsten Dunst!
I'll be straight with you: I absolutely love this. It's completely whack, but it's also totally fabulous and hilarious. Well played, Kiki, well played.

Florence Welch!
Oh, Flo, you are so reliably kooky. Congratulations on wearing a hideous butterfly comforter as a coat.

Beyonce (seen here with Jay-Z)!
Ol' white soles in the background says it all. His face is all sorts of "OMFG BEYONCE!" but also "OMFG IS BEYONCE WEARING CLOTHES???" and a little bit "OMFG BEYONCE IS NAKED BUT NEEDS TO COVER HER FACE WTF IS THAT ABOUT?!" Because isn't that what we're all thinking? Jay-Z looks fantastic, of course.

Kate Upton!
Oh crap, guys. They're rebooting Gunsmoke with Kate Upton as Miss Kitty.

Lena Dunham!
It's heavy looking and the shape isn't doing a thing for her. For me, the only thing I can think with this look is that once Mara Wilson announced she has no desire to be part of Mrs. Doubtfire 2, Lena threw everything she had into getting that role. Am I the only one who sees it?

Lupita Nyong'o!
Okay, sure, no one can have a flawless season, but this is SO VERY FAR off the mark that I don't even want to admit that it's her. She looks like a Mardi Gras float gone horribly wrong. You're tearing me apart, Lisa  Lupita!

Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen!
Bless their 80 year old hearts. I have to say that, once again, I find Ashley's look to be the better of the two even if she is veering slightly into Costume Land with her monied-widow-with-Jane-Haiyre look (thank you, Reader Marsha). MK, on the other hand looks somehow ever so slightly less fabulously retired. I think it's a combination of bad fit, a big grandma bag (comparatively), and treadmill hair. All in all, I absolutely love these two and always look forward to their Met Gala selections. Delightful.

Zoe Saldana!
That is the biggest knee goiter I've ever seen.

Brie Larson!
A conversation happening in the background:

Bryan Cranston's Wife: Hey, don't be obvious, but is that Bjork?
Bryan Cranston: No, I'm pretty sure that's not Bjork.
Bryan Cranston's Wife:  Are you sure?
Bryan Cranston: That's definitely not Bjork.
Brie Larson: [to self] My name Isobel.

Naomi Watts!
Naomi Watts is wearing a tribute to polka dots, figure skating, mermaids, fish scales, and most especially the vagina.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka!
What the actual fuck is going on here? Why are they dressed like marionettes in shrunken clothes?

Katie Holmes!
When did Katie Holmes turn into Sally Field? I take it back, actually, because that might hurt Sally Field's feelings. All I can think is that this is some sort of performance art version of how Belle would actually look after a month or so of captivity in the Beast's palace - slightly manic, definitely rumpled and dirty. You know? I'd probably watch that show.

Sandra Lee!
Bibbity Bobbity EW! I am Semi-Afraid (see what I did there?) of this dress. You guys, this is all at once one of the worst and one of the funniest looks I've ever seen. Bless you, Sandra Lee. Keep being you.


  1. I was kind of amazed that NPH seems to be channeling Vampire Bill, while his husband is channeling my favorite socks.

  2. Sorry, but I kinda love Beyonce in that. She looks good....

    I also loved Lupita's Prada flapper dress....

  3. The Bjork conversation killed me. DEAD.