SAG Awards 2014: The WTF!

Okay, my dear readers, we're finally wrapping up the SAGs! It'll be onto the Grammys after this... pending the appearance of a tiny little joke treat for you that may or may not happen tomorrow. No more words on that right now, but mostly just because I don't like to talk politics.

THE WTF

Abigail Breslin!

 Abigail doesn't appear in the category for her outfit, though the train and shrug are both baffling. No, Abigail is here just for the reason that she BLEW MY MIND by not being 12 years old. When did she become an adult lady!?

Mariah Carey!

 1. Why is Mimi at the SAGs? 2. Why is Mimi wearing black sheer stockings? Is that a thing now? AGAIN? 3. Why is Mimi wearing the dress that your misguided coworker wears to the office holiday party? 4. LEATHER GLOVELETS?!

Julia Roberts!

 That. Is. A. Jumpsuit. A pepto pink jumpsuit. With modified platform heels. And a pleated...top part to the jumpsuit. Quite apart for the fact that she is wearing a wide legged jumpsuit, it's a terrible color on her. Then again, you know, her colors are blush and bashful.

HER COLORS ARE PINK AND PINK.

Rita Moreno!

  And now we come to the part of the WTF rundown where I am absolutely delighted. There is an unnecessary belt! There is a bird flower pattern on the skirt! The bodice appears to be embellished with macaroni! And, perhaps best of all, there's a leather toreador jacket that is bedazzled within an inch of its life. No, actually, I take it back. Best of all, she's all, "I dare you to say something. I'm Rita Moreno. I'm a TREASURE." You are, Rita. You are.