SAG Awards 2014: The Meh

The update from Philadelphia is this: it snowed a bundle, it's my wonderful roommate's birthday today, and I've got some very Meh dresses for you this morning. The other update is this: depending on my nap schedule, you may or may not see the Bad today. Fingers crossed (but don't call me at 2 just to wake me up). I have a feeling we're going to be in a fight about some of what is about to happen. That's okay because we can disagree and still be friends.

THE MEH

Helen Mirren!

 It actually hurts me to put our Helen in the Meh (there's another painful one coming, be warned). I don't know but there's something very off about this look. We're seeing a lot of black gowns with bold gold embellishments this season (think Julianna Margulies from the Golden Globes) but this one isn't hitting the mark for me. The shimmer in the skirt puts me off a bit and I just don't like the sheer sleeves. More than anything, though, I'd like to murder whoever did that to our Helen's head. Monday night makeup and a football helmet? I said good day, sir.

Ariel Winter!

 I kind of like this dress. It's a new twist on all of the tones of navy we've been seeing and I quite like the draping and pattern. The problem is the fit. Or perhaps the problem is the support garments. I get the feeling with this dress and the Sofia Vergara reject frock we saw on Ms. Winter at the Globes that Miss Thing is trying to announce loudly that She Is An Adult Now. Honeybear, there are ways to do such a thing without doing that to your poor breasts.

Emilia Clark!

 While it's better than past efforts, it's still an utter snoozefest.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus!

  This is shockingly off the mark for JLD. Here's what I do like about this look: the bag, her nails, the ring. Here's what I'll accept with gritted teeth about this look: her hair and makeup. Both could use some love (namely a different part in her hair and a darker lip shade). Here's what I will not stand for: JLD in an unflattering, boring dress. It does absolutely nothing for her and should have been left on the rack.

Isla Fischer!

 You know, when Courtney Love wore a version of this dress to the Oscars in 1997 it was a huge fashion moment because no one could believe how well she cleaned up. Unfortunately (fortunately?), we all know Isla Fischer to be a charming and beautiful woman who is easily confused with Amy Adams. I get the feeling she was going for Classic Hollywood Glamour. Alas, when fit is off in the length and the bust, the effect is more B Lister than anything else. I'm sorry Isla. Or Amy Adams. Whichever one you are.

Jane Krakowski!

 You know, it wouldn't kill you to have AN accessory, Jane. Love the color, hate the boxy cut and wonky fit, and dear god what I would give to fix her hair. Is it honestly supposed to be mirroring the upward swoop thing on her shoulder? Because EW.

Matthew McConaughey (seen her with Camilla Alves)!

 Men's Warehouse: you're gonna like the way you look... but Meghann won't be impressed. (PS, Camilla, love the draping on your skirt. Please don't call this man wearing upholstery "your king.")

Sandra Bullock!

 Oh, Sandy. This is exhausting. This looks like an outfit one of my barbies had in the 80s, which was clearly modeled off of Dynasty or Dallas or Knots Landing or something else I wasn't allowed to watch. That said, I love her head and adore adore adore adore those shoes. Sandy, give me your shoes. They are beautiful.

Alfre Woodard!

 Not flattering, too long, not a great color, and why are there icicles forming off her boobs? Alfre. I love you. What happened? Help me help you.

Cate Blanchett!

 I figured we should probably bookend this post with the ones that actually cause me pain. It causes me pain to put Cate in the Meh because she is amazing and perfect on the red carpet. (And she still IS amazing and perfect mostly because she called E! out on how they film her.) I do not love this dress, though. The color is great on her, I really like her makeup, but I'M SORRY. I cannot abide the sartorial representation of a napkin tucked into one's shirt. I just CAN'T.