Friday, April 15, 2011

Remembering Elizabeth Taylor

I was born in 1980. This means that, among other things, I grew up with typewriters AND computers, I know all the words to every Debbie Gibson song ever recorded, and I know that if you have $70 and a pair of girl's underpants you are safe as kittens. This also means that by the time I got to her Elizabeth Taylor was battling diseases, middle age, and seemed to always be on the cover of the National Enquirer with Michael Jackson.

My love affair with gossip and celebrity started early as I would hungrily devour as much of the covers of trashy mags like the National Enquirer as possible while waiting the supermarket checkout line with my mom. I never got up the courage to ask her to buy it for me when I was a kid, though I was DYING to know all about everything inside. And I never picked it up off the shelf, as I was pretty sure Mom would not have liked that. I'm also pretty sure that if I asked my mom she would have said "Definitely not" to buying me a gossip rag. Nowadays my mom saves copies of US Weekly for me from the dental office where she works because she knows that Stars! They're Just Like Us cracks me up so much. "They use umbrellas!" OH MY GOD SO DO I!!!!!

Once I got to be old enough to appreciate fashion and fabulosity (oh, say, 5 years ago) I at once loved Elizabeth Taylor. She is one of the only people on this earth I consider truly glamorous. She was a terrific actor, of course, we know this. But the glamour! To be sure, we can learn many lessons from our Liz...and I'll bet you're about to be able to guess one of the reasons I loved her oh so much and/or the effect she had on me.

Lesson 1: Boatneck dresses are the perfect time to bust out a necklace.

Lesson 2: Deep d├ęcolletage is enhanced by a necklace.

Lesson 3: V-necks and necklaces are best friends.

Lesson 4: Adorable short hair + big earrings = skip the necklace.

Lesson 5: Halter necklines don't need a necklace, just some fantastic earrings.

Lesson 6: Sometimes you just need to ignore the rules and pile on the jewels.

Lesson 7: Necklaces are fun to play with.

It also doesn't hurt, when posing for a photograph, to telegraph that you want to make out with the person on the other end of the camera, or that perhaps you know a secret about them. I'll be sure to keep this in mind from now on.

This remembrance post is long overdue, but it's never too late to say goodbye. But not so fast, von Ryan...These have always brought me luck.

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