My dear readers, make yourself a nice cup of tea and settle in for a long read.
THE BAD
Gemma Chan!
If there is one thing we can count on this awards season, it is this: Gemma Chan's knees WILL BE SEEN.
Amy Adams!
I originally had Ms. Amy's belted valance in the Meh until I saw those cliffhangers dangling over the edge of the shoes and I just had to throw the whole thing in the Bad.
Rachel Bloom!
I feel deeply protective of Rachel Bloom so I am taking this kind of personally. The color washes her out completely, the shoes are boring, and the draping of the dress is unflattering. I can't even imagine a way to fix this for her. It's simply not her dress.
Angela Bassett!
Is this some sort of unholy couture version of a popcorn shirt and what the hell is it doing on Angela Bassett (other than bringing down her whole look)?
Laura Harrier!
This dress is pulled down so the hem touches the floor but that puts her in grave danger of going tits ahoy. Quite beyond the fact that it CUAN, please observe that the matching, deflated water wings are attached to the dress.
Rachel Weisz!
Question for the designer: what did Rachel Weisz ever do to you?
Jane Fonda!
Her head looks magnificent but other than that ... LOL WUT?!
Betty Gilpin!
One of the less successful tiered dresses of the night. Betty looks like she has been stacked precariously on top of some cupcake wrappers.
Rhea Seehorn!
Surprise Pants! A boob that spews forth fabric, wrapping itself around the arm to prevent anything but a side hug! Colors eerily reminiscent of the Electric Youth perfume bottle! Disappearing feet! This outfit is doing The Most.
Aja Naomi King!
Another entry in the Straps! Everywhere! hall of fame, but I am concerned that these straps are actually out to get her. They look deeply uncomfortable. I love this color on her but I think the slit is awkwardly placed and the shoes just absolutely clash with the ensemble.
Lakeith Stanfield!
Points for effort but the cummerbund placement is incorrect and gives the distinct impression that he hit a growth spurt in the last 3 minutes.
Rumer Willis!
Remember playing dress up in your grandmother's fanciest robe?
Britney Young!
Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.
Madeline Brewer!
That's a bathing suit with some tacky lace over it that one might find by googling "brothel curtain, wild west."
Lucy Boynton!
Lucy: Hrm, this dress is already kind of ugly but can you drape anything over it to make it worse? Also, I want to wear a velvet hair bow like a Civil War widow so try to keep that in mind.
Designer: No problem.
Rachel Brosnahan!
How many belts is too many belts? Asking for a friend.
Darren Criss!
He's the Billy Flynn understudy going on tonight in Chicago, but he's two inches taller than the guy he's subbing for and has a much bigger neck. Razzle dazzle 'em.
Constance Wu!
The color is better than what she wore to the Golden Globes but this is just a glittery towel wrapped and pinned. The length is somewhat awkward and it truly could use a necklace. I just want so much more for her!
Emma Stone!
Tragically, Emma Stone's sleeve was ripped off by bears who also stole her feet. Thoughts and prayers.
Kimmy Gatewood!
The call is coming from inside the dress! Get out of there Kimmy Gatewood!
Kate Nash!
Listen, the ladies of GLOW really hit this red carpet in a way from which the carpet may never recover. The yoga hair, the puffed sleeves, the remembrall purse, the Lisa Frank of it all... this is your 11 year old self's fever dream in dress form! The whole look is beyond wild.
Now we're getting down to it.
THE MEH
Amanda Brugel!
Love this color, love the shape of the dress, dislike the absolutely gigantic cravat.
Elisabeth Moss!
This is an enormous improvement from the Golden Globes and so very close to being in the Good pile. Alas the full skirt should have started with the black belt instead of having three inches of strange and unflattering pause between the two. SO CLOSE.
Emily Blunt!
To be honest, I think I'd be disappointed if there was not an overt tribute to the labia on the red carpet. I guess it was Emily's turn to pay homage.
Cara Santana!
And Cara Santana volunteered as tribute as well. I actually think this dress is fairly interesting but what in the world is happening with that bun!?
Matt Bomer!
This is pretty snoozy (he is pretty snoozy to me) but we have to discuss these shoes. I hate them and I think they ruin the look.
Chris Pine!
Same shoes this time with tassles. Also the white of his shirt is a different white than his suit. I'm getting a headache.
Melanie Liburd!
This is a very pretty dress with a deeply confusing print that unfortunately makes the draping look off in the hips. CUAN.
Rami Malek!
This is not a great jacket style for him because he looks like he's cold and trying to warm up. And excuse me sir but are those sneakers?!
Margot Robbie!
I suppose if you're going to wear metallic macrame, this is the way to do it.
Robin Wright!
Her head is in competition with her body here - the hair and makeup are soft and understated while the dress and accessories are intense and graphic. This dress fits her beautifully but it doesn't look expensive, it just looks crunchy.
Susan Kelechi Watson!
Thought I do not entirely love the skirt this is one of the more successful tiered dresses of the night. The fit is great and I love this color on her. The hair and accessories are just right but I think a purple eyeshadow would have worked better for the dress and her skin tone than the green.
Marin Hinkle!
Snoozefest.
Ricky Martin!
The tie is too small and the pants are just a touch too long. Good effort but start again.
Samira Wiley!
The disjointed straps trend continues much to my chagrin but this is one of the better versions I saw from the SAGs (stay tuned for more). For me, the shoes are far too heavy for the look and I don't like how the top is fitted under her arm. Could just be how it photographed, though. Hard to say.
Lady Gaga!
I don't love this dress, nor do I loathe it, it is very very meh for me. But let's talk about styling. I like this 90s MAC glam makeup look but not necessarily with this dress. Furthermore, that choker makes it look like her head is completely separate from her body and can be removed at will.
Sandra Oh!
I am obsessed with curly bangs right now so that might be influencing my thoughts about this look. The dress isn't amazing but it's not awful. I am digging the shape this dress is giving her body, giving her a very statuesque goddessy feeling here. Also I kind of hate the shoes and wish I had never seen them. I am really going hard on shoes today, huh?
Megan Mullally!
It's not my favorite McQueen but it looks fabulous on her, especially considering she bought it online. As for the makeup, I'd love to see a darker lip here.
Timothee Chalamet!
TC is about to do a killer set at the Comedy Cellar in 1996.
Awkwafina!
This dress has trapped Awkwafina in a permanent shrug.
Chadwick Boseman!
Real talk: I dig this jacket. I'll say for the millionth time that I am so happy to see men having more fun on the red carpet with prints and accessories. That said, a turtleneck is a bridge too far.
Gabrielle Carteris!
Y'all! Andrea Zuckerman in the house! With bad shoes, a boot cut, and a bell sleeve!
My dear readers, last night was jam-packed with entertainment between the SAG Awards and Rent Sorta Live. In honor of the death of Bohemia, I was on my couch shouting at every edit and censored line in Rent Sorta Live but luckily we can review some SAG Award red carpet fashion together this week. Great news for all of you Way Too Shay readers who love the Bad and WTF piles.... just about everyone looked bad or weird. Or as Rent Sorta Live would say, super weird.
THE GOOD
Danai Gurira!
This is old Hollywood glamour and I am here for it! Yes, be a gorgeous puffy cloud, Danai!
Melissa McCarthy!
Yes! Finally! I love this all-out disco ball fantasy! Her head looks absolutely perfect and this silver is stunning on her.
Sterling K. Brown!
I do feel that perhaps his pants are the teeniest bit short but I am keeping SKB in the Good pile because he is so consistently dapper and I think maybe the pant length is just how he is standing. Basically, because he is always a straight A student I am giving him an A when maybe he deserves a B+.
John Krasinski!
Okay if I'm going to give Sterling an A with that pant length I must also be fair to John. Beside all of that, I think this color suit is great on him and he looks better perhaps than ever. The wife (different than The Wife) will be in another category because wowza in a bad way.
Anthony Carrigan!
The fit on this suit is superb. I would like to shake the golden hands of his tailor.
Catherine Zeta-Jones!
I love that CZJ is like, "I hear actresses my age tend to wear sleeves. Anyway here is my entire leg and torso."
Laverne Cox!
I struggled with where to place this one. I am not a fan of the polka dot detail, the seams appear to be pulling a little, and to be perfectly honest, I am a little tired of the goddess look on Laverne. But then I saw the back of it and I no longer cared.
I'm 100% in on angel wings draped with diamonds.
Michael Zegen!
His hair story aside, everything seems to be in order here.
Mandy Moore!
This is one of my favorite Mandy Moore red carpet looks in recent memory. Sometimes she looks awful but when she keeps the lines clean and the look uncomplicated, she really knocks it out of the park. That said, I will forever want a berry lip on her but we're still fighting through the beige lip situation with these gals so assume that's a given.
