Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Grammy Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

You take the Good, you take the Bad, the take the Meh and there you have exactly what we're talking about today.


Margaret Cho!
This was extraordinarily close to going in The Good pile but the length of those pants and the color of that bag... it hurts me to have to put this in the Meh because she looks so amazing but I had to. You understand.

Kaya Jones!
Another one that was very close to greatness for me. I think if this dress was one inch longer and paired with a different shoe we would have been there. I'm loving this mermaid Liberace vibe but the open toe booties are killing me.

I am really into the Star Trek pajama leisure wear look but I cannot abide the length of anything here except the tunic hem. Sleeves and pants are both just short enough for me to notice.

Reader Lena told me she thought Adele dressed as a plaid cucumber and I do not disagree with Reader Lena. I love the shape and the color but the basket woven table runner feel throws it off a little.

Jeff Goldblum (seen here with Emilie Livingston)!
A hat AND tinted glasses AND a turtleneck AND a leather jacket AND wingtips. Learn to edit, Goldblum!

Camila Cabello!
A studded turtleneck paired with a subtle drop waist makes this a proportionally confusing look.

Patton Oswalt!
Close. If we could average out the sleeve and pant proportions between Patton and Jidenna, we'd be set for both of them. And in all honestly I am only include Patton Oswalt in this roundup because I need to tell you that his cameo in Season 2 of Crazy Ex Girlfriend is amazing and also just in case I have not yet said this to you personally - that show is wonderful. Worst title best show please watch it so I have someone to talk about it with because all of my friends are sick of me proselytizing them on that show.

Erika Jayne!
I love this dress but those are the wrong shoes and that is the wrong hair. I'd be really into her swapping her shoe and nail colors and going for a stick-straight blowout. 

Cassadee Pope!
Fairly standard Jiffy Pop dress. Snooze.

Chance the Rapper!
Welp, the shoes are all wrong and the pants are an inch too short. I have no problems with the hat because that's his signature and I kind of like that shade of brown with this shade of grey. I just really hate these shoes with this suit.

Andra Day!
This dress is some sort of Dionne Warwick fantasy come true and I am deeply in love with this color and this fit on her (and the inspired shoe choice). HOWEVER the hem is sloppy and the 1-2 punch of flowers and eyeliner are not good. 

Brendon Urie!
I am told this gentleman is of Panic! At The Disco, which is Great! For Him. The suit fits very well, but the overall look is one white belt away from 2003 cosplay.

Jill Scott!
Jilly from Philly looks fabulous... except for those unfortunate flats. She looks like she just powerwalked to work. 

Jane Zhang!
It's a little formal for the Grammys, not to mention exactly the wrong color on her. 

James Cordon (seen here with Julia Carey)!
I've never seen this color tux jacket and I can't tell if I like it at all. I'll tell you what I know for sure, though (and I'll bet you know this too): his pants are too long and it's distracting.

Skylar Grey!
Cheer up, Skylar! Sure, it's not a great look but it's so unremarkable that no one will ever remember it.

Carrie Underwood and Kelsea Ballerini!
These looks aren't offensive or really all the bad, they're just not good either. Kelsea is pulling from the I Am Growing Vegetation On My Arms In A Charming Way closet while Carrie seems to be wearing a castoff costume from the Elizabeth Hurley vehicle Bedazzled. Not the worst but not the best. 

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