Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Harry Potter Fashion Rundown

Since you seemed to get such a kick out of the magical transfiguration of Neville Longbottom, my dear 6 readers, and since I am RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED about the release of HP7.2 I thought we would have a little Harry Potter red carpet fashion commentary today. There is nothing like combining dorky pleasures!

The Good


Hell yes. You know I love me some HBC and this is no exception. She looks phenomenal in the [unwrinkled!] green silk but stays true to her HBC ways with a crappy bag and cray cray head adornment. Stay gold, HBC!

Emma Watson!

I love the construction (obvs, it's Oscar dlR...), though I wish the skirt was a different, less dingy color. I really love this with the jacket.

Work it, girl!

Jason Isaacs!

Lucius Malfoy? More like Luscious Malfoy! Nice job matching your blacks, sir! I have a really hard time getting black tops and bottoms to match up, so I can't even imagine how hard it must've been to match a black shirt to a black jacket. Although... are we Napoleon? Let's rethink that pose.

Imelda Staunton!

You cannot see it very well in this photo but the fabric is a gorgeous green and navy plaid taffeta. HATE those shoes, though. All wrong.

Evanna Lynch!

Cute as a button, totally gets away with such a tiny dress because she is so young and tiny herself, adds a bit of interest with some truly terrifying/awesome shoes. Go girl.

Daniel Radcliffe!

Very nicely put together, D-Rad. Very proud of you, young man.

and here you go, horndogs...
Matthew Lewis! Again!

Dig the chain! Classic!

The Meh

Clemence Poesy!

It looks like her head and legs were pasted onto someone else's body. Too much volume all around, though still pretty .

Ralph Fiennes!

Forget losing his nose to play Voldemort. Ralph Fiennes' most horrifying transformation is from sexy Hollywood star into unremarkable CEO of a boring investment company. Nice suit, but wasn't that the same tie on Kevin Costner's corpse at the beginning of The Big Chill?

Julie Walters!

Obviously, Mrs. Weasley is the bomb, but this jacket is just a little too much "cruise ship" for me with the random sequined embellishments. Still, she looks pretty great.

Tom Felton!

Another one to file under "jail bate." Looking very snazzy here (and very much like the younger, Britisher version of Owen Wilson) but jeez, Tom, you couldn't even shave for the British premiere of your movie?

Helen McCrory!

The original choice for Bellatrix and eventual Narcissa Malfoy is either wearing very boring and slightly cheap-looking red carpet attire, or she's angling to be cast in the West End musical version of Bedazzled.* If the latter...Helen McCrory you are hired!

The Bad

Rupert Grint and Emma Watson!

I'm not sure where this happened but I hate it. Why? Because his clothes don't fit and she looks about 45. I do like her haircut, though. We will not speak of Ronald's hair.

Robbie Coltrane!

Answering once and for all my question about pairing black with navy blue.

Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower!

I can't think of a single thing right about this. In fact EVERYTHING is wrong here.
1. Unfortunate, sheer prairie shirt paired with unflattering [wrinkled] satin skirt.
2. Bad lipstick and too much eye makeup.
3. Fiancé dressed like Weekend Casual David Lee Roth.
4. Fiancé strange shade of orange.
5. The fact that Ginny Weasley is going to marry Gellert Grindelwald.

Natalia Tena!

Oh honey, I mean, there's "quirky" and then there's "cannot dress self." (I would like to borrow her boots, though.)

Dame Maggie Smith!

Why is it that ladies of a certain age default to the "New-Age-y Professor Emerita" look? Why is it that the fabulous Maggie Smith is wearing a coat a full 3 sizes too big? These are the questions that plague me in the middle of the night.

J. K. Rowling!

Oh girl. Oh no. I-- yeah... no words.

Rupert Grint!

Okay now we're going to talk about the hair. What in the name of Godric Gryffindor is going on up there!? And did he let Maggie Smith help him pick out his suit jacket or something? Ugh. All wrong! Go home and try again!

Phelps Twins!

sung to the tune of the Beach Boys' classic, "Caroline, No":
Where did your red hair go
Where are the studs we used to know
How could you lose that ginger glow?
Oh Weasley twins, no

The Trio!

First, let me start by saying the construction of Emma Watson's dress is really cool. That is the end of the positive comments.
Rupert: hem the pants, cut the hair, what is the print on that jacket?
D-Rad: That shirt is a terrible, terrible mistake.
Hermione: I know you can do it, I saw you wear the locket all through HP7.1. My dear 6 readers, do I even need to say it?

*Please god don't let there be a musical made out of Bedazzled.


  1. Brillz! And no. You don't need to say it. Perhaps if she HAD a time turner, she would have gone back in time and fixed her fashion faux pas...

  2. If you're gonna show off all that chest you need the boobs to back it up. There, I made my typical male comment.

    And OMG JK IS THE ONE WHO TOTALLY STOLE MY GRANDMOTHER'S COUCH COVERS. But ... if you're gonna flaunt it, go all the way. Where's the plastic cover?

    And I join mordicai in their Watson crush. She's grown up to be quite the lady.

  3. Wait, so only girls with DDs get to show a little skin? We smaller girls should cover up? Wouldn't want to disappoint you! I don't know who you are, Big Onion, but you can suck it.

  4. That was a bad joke I made, washu. My apologies. :(