Royal Wedding: Hat's Incredible!

My dear readers, Saturday was not only the royal wedding but also my birthday - BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. Relevant to the interests of this blog, I need to tell you that my sister gave me a necklace that says CUAN. Thank you Reader/Sister Julie for making dreams come true! And now... onto the wedding and what a wedding it was! Rev. Curry's sermon, the lip bite felt 'round the world, the little kids holding hands, Sheku Kanneh-Mason's gorgeous cello pieces, the Kingdom Choir singing "Stand By Me," that one mention of sexual union... what a wedding! 

THE DRESSES

I loved them both. 

Ceremony Dress!

Sure it was just a teensy bit big in the sleeves but the overall effect was simple, classic, and outstanding. Also loved Harry all cinched into his uniform.

Reception Dress!

This is clearly a still from the new Bond film. 

Now let's get on to the main event....

THE HATS

Simple Elegance

Doria Ragland!

Classic and gorgeous. And the hat is okay too!

Abigail Spencer!

One can't go wrong with navy flowers.

Posh!

Everything seems to be in order here.

Lady Kitty Spencer!

Fabulous.

Hats That Are Hiding Stuff

Cathy Cambridge!

Surprise! Hiding flowers and twirlies!

Charlotte Riley!

Surprise! Hiding colorful flowers that coordinate a little too well with her dress!

Priyanka Chopra!

Surprise! Hiding her face!

Hats That Stick Up

Serena Williams!

Like a decorative tuile on a Top Chef's dessert.

Sofia Wellesley!

The fanciest napkin.

Joss Stone!

Joss Stone still exists!

Chelsy Davy!

Chelsy Davy, good sport #1, was sure to wear the pointiest and most terrifying hat to the wedding. 

Princess Anne!

And here is the second pointiest. 

Hats Literally Attached At The Hairline

Countess Spencer!

Additional points for tallest hat and best cape.

Fergie (Original Flavor)!

Not sure I love the hat but the rest of the look is pretty great.

Sophie Countess of Wessex!

I could be convinced that this hat is actually attached to her right eyebrow. Congratulations, Sophie, on the forwardest hat.

Hats That Are Small Platters

Carole Middleton!

That is the face of a woman who is relieved to just be a guest this time around.

Pippa Middleton!

I like that she chose a hat that highlights the flowers on the dress. I also like that she chose a dress that is eerily reminiscent of a delicious beverage.

Hats That Are Large Platters

Sabrina Dhowre!

A large platter adorned above and below.

Amal Clooney!

A large, sunny platter with sequined mesh.

Camilla!

A large, feathery platter. Very fluffy.

Large Hats

The Queen!

The Queen of England gets to wear the biggest hat!

Oprah!

Scratch that. The Queen of America gets to wear the biggest hat! 

Disappointing Hats

Cressida Bonas!

Good sport #2 opted for some sad feathers.

Princess Beatrice!

This is barely a hat! Very disappointed!

Most Disappointing Hat

Princess Eugenie!

After showing up to Wills and Kate's wedding in a uterine toilet seat, this Jackie O cosplay is deeply disappointing.


EDIT: I mixed up my princesses! But it's still disappointing!