Met Gala 2018 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

Oh so much to cover today, my dear readers. This time it is the almost-greats and the pretty-but-borings. 

THE MEH

Kerry Washington!

As longtime readers know, Kerry Washington and I are not drawn to the same things sartorially speaking. That said, I saw this from the back at first and it is breathtaking.

This photo was sorted into the Good Pile because the hair, the cutout, the color, the hairpiece... it's all so great. I was so disappointed when I saw it from the front because it just doesn't have the same drama.

Gabrielle Union!

This is wonderful for the Oscars.

Idris Elba (seen here with Sabrina Dhowre)!

This is great for the Golden Globes.

Salma Hayek!

This is fantastic for the Independent Spirit Awards.

Rooney Mara!

Reader Kate said this dress was what she thought of when she read the statement "she looks how Catholicism feels." And I totally agree. This pinned down silhouette was popular this year. Rooney did it in blue bathroom wallpaper.

Naomi Watts!

Naomi Watts did it in gold living room wall paper.

Alicia Vikander!

And Tomb Raider 2.0 did it in black tie camo. 

Jennifer Lopez!

I felt that a lot of the Giant Cross Across My Boobs looks were a little boring, honestly. I'm a little concerned because it looks almost like she's been caught in place by some hardened lava, but surely if anyone can figure a way out of that situation it's JLo.

Madonna!

Another Giant Cross Across My Boobs look here. For someone who made her fame on shocking Catholics, I expected something a little more than a rehearsal skirt and a crown. That said, it's not a weak look it's simply that I expected more from the entire reason I was not allowed to watch MTV until I was 14.

Evan Rachel Wood!

This cloak is very cool but her pants are very long.

Michelle Williams!

Cool dress but wrong party, wrong bag.

Issa Rae!

A flawless fit on a gorgeous gown and good styling. Alas, comparatively it's understated and I hoped for more.

Nicki Minaj!

Then again be careful what you wish for because this is definitely "more" but also slightly too much! I love this headpiece framing her face so beautifully but she is so tiny and the decolletage is pushed so high it stumpifies her and makes her look like she's lost her neck. It's jarring to see this long, dramatic train and then no neck. I think I would have re-thought how the headpiece was worn and maybe have it drape down her hair instead of framing the face.

Emma Stone!

She just sort of looks like she's melting, doesn't she? 

Bella Hadid!

 Bella Hadid could not decide which material she wanted to wear so she just wore them all at the same time, continuity be damned!

Winnie Harlow!

From the clavicles up, this is pure perfection. This was my favorite headpiece of the night and that is what I mean when I talk about a necklace. From the clavicles down, unfortunately, it's a prom dress and a kind of boring one at that.

Scarlett Johansson!

This is so beautiful but like Issa Rae's look it was comparatively understated and I hoped for more.

Ruth Negga!

Snoozefest.

Tessa Thompson!

For me, it's a victim of styling. The dress is an interesting shape and fits well and the jacket is a beautiful touch. The priest collar choker isn't working with the look, it's working against it and I am not enjoying the makeup. I think maybe a different lip and keeping the white eyeliner to only the bottom lash line would turn it around for me. All in all, a decent showing! 

Juliette Binoche!

Aside from the dreaded cold shoulder, she looks almost exactly like the statue of the Virgin Mary I had on my shelves for my entire childhood. Too bad this color makes her look like she got over the flu 2 hours ago.

Mary J. Blige!

Gigantic Boots Part 1! I love that MJB is sticking with this neckline - it's a good one for her. I think this look would have been in the Good Pile if the slit started about 2 inches further down.

Donatella Versace!

Gigantic Boots Part 2! I think this is a cool look? But maybe it's not? It might actually just be an embellished sweater dress with a big ole skirt over it? And I might be into it? On a score of 1- Donatella, this is pretty good. As you can see I am very torn and that's why it is in the Meh Pile. 

Tiffany Haddish!

The pants are a skosh too long, as was Tiffany's nap because she cleary woke up half an hour before she had to be on the carpet and did not have time to put on makeup or nails.

Zoe Kravitz!

This is provocative, sexy, and one accidental snag away from naked city. This look is difficult to pull off and while I do think it's a little "extra" she's making it work.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen!

Mary Kate looks like a disaster held together with fridge magnets and Ashley looks like a bohemian angel so averaging the two caftans I come up with a median score of Meh.

Donald Glover!

It fits great, I love the color of the suit on him, and the back was really cool (as seen in yesterday's Ariana Grande photo).

But I super duper hate that white bowtie.

Brooke Shields!

Tell me something I don't know, Brooke Shields.

Olivia Munn!

I mean, I get it. I just don't think it's all that special. The sheer panel in the front cheapens the look, just makes it look less expensive when expensive is kind of what this event is going for. (Also, yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes girl.)

Lena Dunham!

Sure.

Kate Bosworth!

Virgin Cinderella wedding fantasy.

Amber Heard!

The dress fits like a dream, the headpiece is very cool, but her makeup and hair are all wrong. I don't understand why anyone would look at this outfit and choose this lipstick.

Bee Shaffer and Anna Wintour!

This necklace and that bag are the closest these two have been to dressing in theme in years so I'll give them some points for it. Otherwise, it's just okay.

Rita Ora!

Thanks to Reader Colin I started listening to the brilliant podcast Who? Weekly and thanks to Who? Weekly I've come to love the #1 Who, Rita Ora. She has impressed me in the past at the Met Gala but unfortunately this year but only just okay. The headpiece is great, the Lisa Frank Goes to a Funeral print is fun, but there's just not a lot of there there.