Thursday, January 17, 2013

Golden Globes 2013: The WTF!

My dear readers, first of all I want to thank you guys for being so awesome and engaged about the Golden Globe fashion! Thank you to everyone who has shared this stuff on Facebook - I have never seen such pageviews! My goodness! I have been overwhelmed!

But you didn't come here to read my gushing admiration. You came here to see some baffling fashion choices. Today we debut a new red carpet rundown feature: The WTF. In a nutshell (cue Austin Powers quote), these are sartorial choices that make me go


Jennifer Lawrence!
To be sure, the color is gorgeous on her and I love the belt. But WTF is that bustline!? To quote Reader Rosey, it looks like she's trying to catch rainwater with her boobs. Let's take a closer look, shall we?
What is happening here? And why!? I will give her, points, though, for quoting The First Wives Club in her acceptance speech. Too bad only 12 people love that movie and everyone thinks she was being a jerk by saying "I beat Meryl."

Anjelica Huston!
This is a costume from The Witches, right? Oh, Anjelica. WTF is going on with your top looking like a completely different body from your bottom? Do you guys remember Fashion Plates? Maybe we have one of those situations going on here.

Rachel Weisz (seen here with Daniel Craig)!
During the broadcast I saw this from the waist up and thought it was fantastic. The next day, while gathering photos for the rundown, I saw the whole thing and you guys should have seen my face. WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?! I just cannot get my mind around this. The sheer overlay trend is one thing... but this is a sheer underlay. With the world's tiniest dress on top. WTF!?!?!?!?!

Alyssa Milano!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Oh no! What the -- what has happened to you!? It doesn't fit and it's too long! It's bright freaking yellow! You're wearing second date hair! I almost put this in The Bad but it is so much worse than bad. Also, why was Alyssa Milano at the Golden Globes? WTF?

Thandie Newton!
Did she come straight from Ice Skating with the Stars: Burlesque Edition?! What else could possibly account for the grey sequined starburst pasties?! Don't get me started on the lilac bridesmaid shoes. THANDIE! You made me start a whole new red carpet rundown category!

1 comment:

  1. Spot on! I wanted to take scissors to Rachel's dress. Alyssa'a made my eyes bleed. BLEED. I did not see the weirdness of the top on Jennifer. It looks okay without the sideview. So unfortunate. No comment on Thandie. There are no words.

    Jen Lovelace