Monday, January 14, 2013

Golden Globes 2013: The Good!

My dear readers, we have once again made it to awards season! It is truly the most wonderful time of the year. I'll remind you that I wiped the slate clean and we begin with no probationary measures. By the end of the week, that will no longer be the case. Place your bets now! I'll give you a hint: she's gone from dressing as a widowed saloon girl to wearing the draping found inside a stagecoach. OY.

Before we get to The Good, I need to tell you that I felt compelled to add another category: The WTF. We will be rolling out The Good today, The Meh tomorrow, The Bad on Wednesday and The WTF at the end of the week. Also, as usual, I expect none of you to agree with me on any of this... that's okay! Just be nice.

But first, let's pay tribute to a woman who defies category: the one, the only HBC!

Lots of lace? Check. Petticoat junction skirt? Check. Platform heels? Check. Messy updo? Check. Giant lips? WHY YES OF COURSE. HBC, I love you. Please never change.


Michelle Dockery!
Bam! Starting strong with a rise from the ashes. It's really amazing, considering how very much I hated her dress last year, how much I love this look. It's elegant, unexpected, and she looks gorgeous. Most Improved Player.

Sure it's a little 60s chanteuse costume-y, but she looks fantastic. I love the detail on the neckline - really gorgeous.

Naomi Watts (seen here with Liev Schreiber)!
I'm not saying Liev doesn't look good, but the jacket may be a skosh too small. Naomi Watts, on the other hand, is classic Hollywood vamp glamour. What a gorgeous color and unexpected silhouette for her.

Sally Field!
My god, she looks great. This navy is a dream on her! The cut is at once sexy and elegant, the necklace is divine, and she looks just so pretty.

Zooey Deschanel!
She never should have sat down in the limo, but other than the wrinkly taffeta issues, I thought she looked very beautiful and appropriate. Come on. Of course I like this - it's a classic Oscar de la Renta. You guys know it's impossible for me to resist an Oscar in this shape.

Salma Hayek!
Though it does stumpify her a bit, she looks drop dead gorgeous. Maybe a necklace could have worked...but something delicate. Annie D, if you are looking at this and having a heart attack, I just want you to know that when she was standing straight, the hem didn't pool at all.

Claire Danes!
While I did receive a number of text messages last night describing Angela Chase's face as "coke whore," I have only this to say: Claire Danes had a baby on December 15. That is ten minutes ago. She looks fabulous, if a bit overmade on the makeup.

Ariel Winter!
Bless. She always dresses appropriately for her age and likes the sparkly shoes. I'm not sold on the accessories but she looks adorable.

Jennifer Garner!
Could it have used a necklace? Sure. Do I love this dress anyway and think she's looks dynamite? Yes. Do I sometimes pretend that Jen Garner is my friend and we have long gab sessions on the phone once a week? Absolutely. During those imaginary gab sessions do I enjoy it when she complains about Ben Affleck? You betcha. Am I going to turn 33 this year and still fantasize about being friends with celebrities?

Helen Mirren!
Don't worry guys, Helen Mirren is still perfect in every way.

Nicole Kidman!
This was a tough call for me, I'm not going to lie. Honestly, if the middle interest wasn't there I'd probably call this a snoozefest. On the other hand, I feel like this dress may be an ode to either hanging baskets or underboob. I eventually decided that Ol' Frozenface looks fierce and amazing and we should just give credit where it is due. To her underboob.

Daniel Day Lewis and Rebecca Miller!
WOW. In addition to the fact that DDL has suddenly morphed into David Byrne (which, you know, le rowr!), these two really stepped it up this year. If you think they are not dressed well enough to make it into The Good, just remember that A) I grade on a curve, and B)
So.... yeah.

Lucy Liu!
Y'all can hate but I think this is gorgeous, expertly fitted, and a showstopper of a dress. But to be sure, it is a divisive dress - just look at the face the girl behind her is making.

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey!

Love. The menswear was sexy, well-tailored, and I love the shoes and necklace for a sense of occasion.

So pretty. Maybe a bit of an awkward length, but it fits her like a dream Could have used a necklace. And let's be real: her hair and makeup have never looked better. I wondered, actually, whether that was a wig or if she has always known her hair could do this but was saving it for the right moment.


Amy looked great - she clearly had some industrial strength boob tape happening and wanted to make the most of it. Tina Fey in this dress, with that hair, that makeup, those accessories...there are no words. She has never looked better. I gasped.

Tina puts the original dress on and gets a pretty updo. Amy turns the dial to SexPot O'Clock.

Well done, ladies. Not only did you look great, you hosted one of the most fun Golden Globes in recent memory. You are the toast of Hollywood today -  I hope your kids let you sleep in!


  1. Meg, I really can't tell you how much I enjoy these! Your writing is just so PERFECT - so completely YOU. I have a hard time finding my voice when I write but you just have yours nailed. LOVE. And I find myself snorting or laughing out loud at nearly every comment - and I'm a tough audience. So bravo, well done!! Looking forward to the rest of the week - particularly the surprise addition of WTF, which I think is long overdue.

  2. Hahhaha Ol'Frozenface hahaha. I can't wait for the WTF!!

  3. - When Daniel Day-Lewis shows up in a GIANT suit next year, his journey to Byrne will be complete.

    - Helena Bonham Carter always looks like she's attending a costume party as Winona Ryder's hair from Beetlejuice. Which is fitting, I suppose.

  4. I agree wholeheartedly about Lucy Liu. I loved her dress. Not something I would wear, but good for her.

  5. Super! Entertaining! Funny! Reading it in Kazakhstan.