Oh god, the PRESSURE

Tonight is the Barrymore Awards for Philadelphia theatre, aka Theatre Prom. Everyone gets all dolled up, awards are handed out, speeches are made, and many many many bottles of wine are sacrificed to the theatre gods (by way of theatre gullets) after the ceremony. I used to think that the point of the ceremony was to award outstanding achievements in regional theatre, but I know better now. The point is to look better than we usually do, which would be covered in paint and sweatpants.

I pulled a forgotten dress out of my closet and remembered my shoes and a wrap and a necklace and all of that, but I feel like the pressure is really on this year. Why? Because of stupid Way Too Shay! I have been second-guessing my necklace selection all day. I've been wondering if I should have gone with different earrings. And I'm in absolute hysterics about my hair. Why did I cut my hair off without figuring out how to style this cut for a formal occasion!?

I'm getting ready at my office after work today, due to time constraints and the absolute necessity of a pre-ceremony glass of wine. There's a very specific emotion that arises out of applying Spanx to one's body in one's office restroom. I won't define it for you; it's the sort of thing one must feel for oneself.

I've done a little trick to help alleviate my worries about inappropriate accessorizing: I look like crap today. I am wearing pants that don't quite fit anymore, a drab grey sweater that washes me out, my hair is a disaster, and I'm not wearing a lick of makeup. Here's how it works: I'll put myself together in my pretty dress and do my hair and makeup (and deal with the Spanx issue), and then when I look at the finished product in the mirror I will be impressed because I came so far from Sloppy Sally the Office Drone.

Good luck to all of the nominees (especially my theatre company!) and remember, the only thing that matters is that we're not wearing sweatpants.