THE BAD
Andra Day!
If Whoopi was dressed in upholstery this is a duvet cover. The shoes/nails do not go with this look, fabric is overwhelming, and as for the design... eat your heart out, Anne Shirley.
Tom Holland!
Sweetheart, dear one, Spidey - no. This just swallows you right up. The pant length is perfect but that jacket just makes you look like you are trying to get warm.
Sally Hawkins!
I mean, it was the nicest bag I saw all night but unfortunately it was meant to be a dress.
Saoirse Ronan!
Very similar to Danai Gurira's dress and the critique holds: this silhouette has got to be flawlessly tailored or it falls flat. The reason that dress ended up in the Meh and this ended up in the Bad has to do somewhat with styling and somewhat with dress specifics. It's disconcerting to the eye that the skirt ends at the ankle but then there is a train. I don't enjoy the dye-to-match shoes, the color is no good on her, and - you guessed it- this look could use a necklace. (I also don't think her haircut is even but I've already said enough.)
Maya Rudolph!
Maya Rudolph was NOT wearing spanx to the Oscars this year no matter what.
Emily Blunt!
This is extraordinarily fussy. The top of this dress looks like the door picture frame from Friends.
Who wore it better?
Emma Stone!
Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.
Elisabeth Moss!
Someone has to have a color intervention with Elisabeth Moss. I don't super hate this gown but the color is not flattering and the way it's worn makes her shoulders look wide and disproportional to her body (which they are not). Also the bag is TERRIBLE and doesn't go. Lipstick is good, though. Imagine this in baby blue with the shoulder straps wider, reaching all the way up to her shoulders to give a wide, romantic V and then a gold clutch and nails the color of the dress as it appears here... I'd love that look on her.
Zendaya!
Zendaya presents: an ode to melting soft serve.
Salma Hayek!
Where to even begin? How about this fabric, which I swear I used in college as a makeshift closet door at one point or maybe threw over some stuff in the corner of a basement to "decorate" for a party? What's happening with the casually draped ropes of diamonds? To me it looks like an extremely high end electric fence - warning! do not touch! 7000 volts! Actually, that might not be far from the truth here... I have to admit the bag has me deeply perplexed as it doesn't relate to a single other thing happening with this already jumbled look. On a scale of 1 to Patton, I'd say this Delia*s back page fever dream is a Full Patton.
Maya was serving us some Marina Abramovic realness in that caftan.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Meg, but you are totally wrong about Tom Holland. OBVIOUSLY he was setting himself up for the lead in a new BBC series featuring an English country vicar who finds his own sex appeal, much to the consternation of the landed gentry.
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