Thursday, June 15, 2017

Tony Awards 2017 Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

We're grinding to a close, my dear readers. We'll close with a dandy, a bathrobe, a lot of see-through shenanigans, and a gown ripped straight out of the mid-1980s. 


Hamish Bowles!
That is some pink tux! Tux wearers, lest you try to make this look happen for yourself, let's talk some talk. Hamish Bowles is one of the most revered dandies of our time but even he cannot fully make a ruffled tux shirt work. Do not try this at home. Or out. Or anywhere.

Sara Bareilles!
I thought perhaps it was a nude illusion but alas it is just nude, no illusion. And yet somehow this is the most modest underboob I have ever witnessed.

Candice Swanepoel!
Continuing the grand march of sheer fabrics, this is literally a bathing suit with a glittery sarong.

Keltie Knight!
Concluding our parade of see-through mistakes, we have this sheer lace situation with granny panties and kinesio tape instead of shoes. I would especially like to draw your attention to the shoulders where it seems that there is a puffed sleeve happening. Also, I believe there is a gigantic bow on the boobs. Seems like an odd detail, but I suppose that detail is what differentiates this lace bodysuit from a lace bodysuit one might buy from our friends at

Jenna Lyons!
This is a robe. 

Christine Ebersole!
YOU. GUYS. I have never been more delighted! Actually, incorrect: I became the most delighted once I found out that this is not a 1986 vintage masterpiece plucked from storage at the Met for a deeply misguided foray into cosplay - oh ho no! - THIS DRESS WAS CREATED FOR HER BY WILLIAM IVEY LONG FOR THE 2017 TONYS. And then! She chose to pair it with that choker and full Murphy Brown formal blowout!?!?!?! I am just absolutely slain by delight! RIP me.

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