Met Ball 2016: The Good!

My dear readers, please imagine my situation: It was Monday, May 2, and I was gearing up to leave for my annual work conference. And then I saw 

Idris Elba!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," my brain screamed, "THE MET GALA IS RIGHT NOW AND I CANNOT ACKNOWLEDGE IT BECAUSE OF WORK!" And I didn't. Other than this gorgeous man in a perfect tux, I didn't even peek at the fashions, NAY! I didn't even look up the theme!

You guys, I am so glad I waited until I was back from the trip because this was one hell of a Met Ball! The theme this year was Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology which leaves a LOT less room for horrifying attempts at cultural appropriation than last year, thank Oscar. Let's revisit the rules: Met Ball is mega fashion forward, meaning looks that might usually get a WTF might be Good. Met Ball encourages one to dress in theme, so expect a lot of chrome and a lot of Blade Runner realness. Met Ball is also about beauty, but beauty is second. You might be surprised by the Meh. This is going to be FUN. Let's hit it!

THE GOOD

Zendaya!

You wanna talk Blade Runner realness, here it is. It's a little bit retro, a little bit classic, a little bit futuristic, 100% slay. 

Kylie Jenner!

Best dressed of the Jenner/Kardashians, and one of my favorite looks of the night. It looks extremely heavy and difficult to walk in but it also looks like she just got created by some high fashion version of the Weird Science kids. (Dear Hollywood, I will watch the hell out of that movie.)

Zayn Malik (seen here with Gigi Hadid)!

I see Zayn is as amped as the rest of us about Captain America: Civil War. Listen, Gigi looks a little standard, but still in theme. Zayn's tux fits him to perfection AND HE'S WEARING A FASHION ROBOT ARM. I am so very here for this. 

Brie Larson!

Dressed like a metallic Christmas tree? Yes. Killing it? Yes again.

Naomi Campbell!

You'll see a lot of versions of this dress but this is the best one, worn the best. Bow down, humans. It's Naomi.

The Weeknd (seen here with Bella Hadid)!

My goodness, he is killing it. She looks fine, other than those hideous thigh high peep toe kitten heels (WUT), but he just shines. Beautiful suit, beautifully worn.

Demi Lovato!

You know, I would ding this anywhere else, but here? Oh I just loooove that she showed up dressed as a Rococo mirror! She's like, look into my dress - who are you watching now? THE MET BALL IS DEEP AND REFLECTIVE.

Willow Smith!

Other than the slightly too big shoes, this is absolutely gorgeous. Best pants of the night (.... you'll see), super fashion-forward, and oozing with confidence. Ugh, I love this so much.

Nicole Kidman!

Okay, she went more "astronomy" than "space: the final frontier" but this McQueen is an absolute masterpiece. I don't care too much for the styling, but I'm glad they kept it simple to show off the dress and cape. Utterly stunning.

Alessandra Ambrosio!

There is absolutely no reason futuristic macrame should look this good.

Lupita Nyong'o!

Extremely glam and extremely on-message for the event. We're not worthy!

Kristen Stewart!

I'm not exactly sure what she's selling but I'll take ten of them.

Saoirse Ronan!

Very Hunger Games, very Vogue, very much wearing a tail.

Solange!

The Met Ball is Solange's playground and she continues to amaze. I think of this as a futuristic interpretation of 1920s flapper, but, you know, artistic.

Katy Perry!

I died. I mean the dress, the corset, the belt, the keys, the diary, the hair, the makeup, the attitude! RIP me. 

Lady Gaga!

A+ Punk Rock Fembot.

and then the two who get extra credit....

Claire Danes!

and

Karolina Kurkova!

Not only are they both in gorgeous dresses, both of their dressed ACTUALLY LIT UP! This is so cool and you can read about it here. Thanks to Reader Katya for the link.