Golden Globes Rundown 2016: The WTF!

I have a hunch if you like to read Way Too Shay, you are feeling some feelings this week about losing David Bowie and Alan Rickman (and quite possibly Lemmy Kilmister and Natalie Cole). I share your sadness and will help in the only way I am equipped: by making fun of celebrity outfits.

THE WTF

Channing Tatum's Head!

Channing Tatum doesn't care what people think! He's just gonna hang out backstage and listen to Fall Out Boy for a while and wait for an opportunity to tell someone HE'S NOT OKAY.

Heidi Klum!

I know a cry for help when I see one. La Klum, I'll be in LA by 5 - meet me at In N Out Burger and we'll solve all the problems of the world over a double double animal style. It's gonna be okay.

Cate Blanchett!

You know you're high fashion when you have to use a hair straightener on your gown. Think of all the anime characters who had to give their hair for this dress! Just say no to breast curtains.

Regina King!

Look, I see where she was going with this but it is comes off as less Old Hollywood Glamour and more Attack of the Metallic Sequins. The shoes are particularly painful to my eye and, for once, I'm not sure the cape works. But, I love Regina King and I will forgive her 8000 fashion sins for Jerry Maguire and Boondocks alone. Also, no one is having more fun than Regina King. 

Love.

Rooney Mara!

Why does Rooney Mara always look like she got attacked by savage geese? Reader Derick suggested that perhaps this was made from the scraps of Cate Blanchett's dress. It's possible he's not far off.

Eva Longoria!

As aforementioned, she and America Ferrera killed with their presenter banter - great job on that! Less great job on this dress, though. I keep trying to figure out how to dissect this dress but the best I have is What Is This I Can't Even. 

Jill Soloway and Gaby Hoffman!

THE SHOES, YOU GUYS. ALL OF THESE SHOES. W T ACTUAL F?!

Kate Hudson!

Reader Jen D-M proposed that perhaps Kate is starting a dance team at the after party. That is the only possible explanation for this ... "look." It's really bad. It's not the worst, though, somehow.

Jane Fonda!

As Reader Amy S. and I decided, Jane Fonda wore an unfurled tampon to the Golden Globes. This was me:


Well, congratulations Jane. On a scale of One to Patton, this is a full Patton.