Oscars 2016: The Good!

My dear readers, hello! I know we missed the SAGs and the Grammys but we have to be on time for the Oscars (also I am planning to do at least the SAGs after we're done with Oscars, just to help you with awards season withdrawal.) With the exception of Chris Rock absolutely killing it last night, it was kind of a boring show, huh? Not too many frocks really lit me up, either. We have a HUGE Meh pile, which is about on track for this awards season. Designers and stylists, I implore you: be more interesting soon! Please! Okay, and just a note, we are not going to address the beige lip thing. It's happening, and there is nothing we can do to stop it right now. 

THE GOOD

Saoirse Ronan!

One of the best dressed of the night, hands down. Exquisite dress, simply styled. She could not possibly look breezier, which is really saying something on the biggest red carpet of the year.

Chrissy Teigan and John Legend!

Gorgeous, perfectly tailored, hitting every right mark - and she looks great too! Seriously, could Chrissy Teigan possibly look more ethereal? I think she could use a necklace, but other than that, not really. These two! So perfect.

Jennifer Garner!

An absolutely excellent entry in the Recently Single But Got It Together canon (see also: Kate Hudson, Reese Witherspoon). While the dress is a smidge mature for her, it is stunning and dramatic. Well done, Jen. Also you are fabulous and we're all on your side.

Sofia Vergara!

In the words of Ilana Glazer, YAS QUEEN. This is a showstopper Marchesa and she is wearing the hell out of it. I would have swapped out for smaller earrings and a necklace, but you know me - I hate to see unclaimed clavicles with a strapless. Love this color for her, love the shape on her.

Leonardo DiCaprio!

Sleeves are juuuuust a skosh too long and I would like his tie to be sliiiiiiightly bigger but other than that, this is totally fine. I've been mentioning this to everyone I know, so I might as well put it here too - the circumference of his head has increased, yes?? Like, his head is just larger around now, right? Well, congrats Leo - you have your Oscar. I'm excited to see you do something subtle and not statue-grabby in the future.

Olivia Munn!

I AM HERE FOR THIS DRESS.

The Weeknd!

His hair might remind me a little bit of Lucy from the Peanuts, but other than that, this all seems to be in order. Great looking guy, looking great.

Jason Segel!

Again, I'd like to see just a hint of shirt sleeve on his wrist, but other than that yet another great looking guy, looking great. You'd think this would get boring, but you'd be wrong.

Charlize Theron!

There are two versions of this gown - the good and the yikes. This is the good version. It's glamour, drama, and sex appeal all at the same time. This dress demands your attention. The yikes version... well, we'll get to that later. +10 points for advanced necklace styling.

Sylvester Stallone (seen here with Jennifer Flavin)!

Unlike some (like Reader Rosey), I love a navy tux. I do not always like it with black shirt/tie/lapels but this is a fantastic look for Sly. He looks like a winner! Too bad he did not win, but at least he looked fantastic. Jennifer looks great, if a little bit Victoria's Secret catalog. No real complaints on that, though.

Naomi Watts!

Tied for best look of the night in my book. This dress is jaw-dropping. The colors are perfection on her, it fits like it sprouted off of her own skin, the hair is just exactly the right length to be down, and look. at. that. ice. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. My other favorite of the night?

Tina Fey!

PERSONAL BEST. Terrific dress, perfect jewels, loving the Audrey Hepburn flavor, the simple precision of this look. Well done, Tina. This is just plain beautiful.