Oscars 2016 Rundown: The Meh!

Buckle up, fashion fans - we have a lot of mediocre looks to get through! 

THE MEH

Brie Larson!

I saw a lot of love expressed for this gown, but I am not in the love camp. I love this color on her, I love the visual interest the sheer accents give to the top, I love the fit, but I do not love this ruffle effect that makes it look like she's being held up by the gentle pulsations of many jellyfish, and that belt is A Strong Choice. 

Kerry Washington!

This is a bit on the nose, wouldn't you say, gladiators? While I realized long ago that Kerry's stylist and I have different ideas about what constitutes a great look for Kerry Washington, my only real trouble with this is the straps on her leather breastplate seem wonky, which makes things look off and weird. Okay, I guess I also have a little trouble with the fact that we can say leather breastplate in reference to this dress.

Cate Blanchett!

The color and the fit are just an absolute dream but I cannot look at this and not see a $10,000 wedding cake.

Alicia Vikander!

The middle-part, half-up hair was a real trend this year, huh? I don't love it, personally, but I do think half-up looks very sweet on Alicia. This dress is so pretty until you get to the bottom and realize it's just a duvet cover and most of the duvet shifted down to the bottom. Also, I think there is a time and a place for lucite heels, but the Oscars is neither that time nor that place. In conclusion, love the color, love the detail on the dress, love the idea of the hair, CUAN.

Reese Witherspoon!

I am so sick of seeing this silhouette on Reese, especially when it Could Use A Necklace. Please please please change it up, girl.

Kate Winslet!

This is a really cool dress except that it is highly reminiscent of an oil slick (or pvc fetishwear, depending on what your lifestyle and interests are like). The hair really feels like an afterthought here, just sort of flat and hanging. If we're keeping it down (to avoid wearing a necklace I guess?), then at least give it some oomph. Add some hair, girl - it's the Oscars! Extensions are your friend!

Isla Fisher!

It's definitely pretty and this is a great neckline for her, but the fabric is slightly odd and kind of boring. I don't know, you guys, it's just not working for me and I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's the color of the dress. 

Adepero Aduye!

This is fabulous and just a few tweaks away from perfect. Here's my fix - lengthen the hem to the floor, remove the choker and join the straps to a full halter. Loving this exposed shoulder cape, love the hair, adore the bracelet. 

Margot Robbie!

Tell me something I don't know, Margot Robbie.


Eddie Redmayne (seen here with Hannah Redmayne)!

Only the truly British would show up in a skinny velvet tux with matching smoking slippers. I continue to be delighted by Eddie's very normal-person wife, though I am perplexed by this dress. I have a feeling it's not very flattering, but I can't tell with her hair like that. At the very least they have a velvet theme to their evening.

Amy Poehler!

I mean, I see what she was going for, but this is really more of an Independent Spirit Awards kind of dress. The dress is absolutely gorgeous but it's too long on her and, quite unfortunately, the truth is the dress is wearing her. 

Julianne Moore!

It's not offensive, which is really saying something for Julianne. Love the top, but the lace on the dress feels matronly. I really like both the earrings and the bracelet but they do not talk to one another, and of the two, the earrings really talk to the dress. Grading on a curve, this isn't bad. But it's not great, either.

Rooney Mara!

I can't tell if this is an ode to white ink tattoos or delicately embroidered tablecloths, but something is going on here that is boggling my mind. Also why is everyone obsessed with Posh Spice ankle strap heels right now? Another trend I do not understand. But, even with her Rey-from-Star-Wars hair and mid-torso peekaboo curtains, I have to say - it fits her like a glove and this is exactly Rooney Mara. Stay gold, Ponyboy.

Sarah Silverman!

I am not entirely convince this dress isn't a sculpture she is just holding in front of her naked body. Stiff, tight, and sort of snoozy.

Whoopi Goldberg!

I am not horrified, nor am I impressed. Let's start with perfection - Whoopi's head is perfection - lovely makeup, great earrings, perfect hair. I love the structured taffeta skirt on this. I've been looking at this dress for a couple of days to try to figure out what about it isn't working for me and I think I finally got it. I think this was a strapless gown and Whoopi asked for sleeves to be added. And I think the way the sleeves were added is awkward, whereas if they started just slightly farther down the arm, in line with the original neckline of the dress, it would have been more successful (and we would be able to see more of her chestpiece/sleeve/whatever ink she has). That's what isn't working for me. You know what is very much working for me?

Awesome, awesome, awesome.