Oh my dear readers, what a shitshow the Golden Globes were last night. Lucky for us, though, we did end up with a truly great moment of stankface from Jane Fonda (photo provided by Reader Nick)
annnd possibly more importantly.... this guy:
We'll get back to what the hell Jane is wearing later in the week. But for now, we are here to celebrate the fact that though the show itself was a disaster, the fashion definitely was not!
Why not start with royalty? She looks gorgeous. The color is heaven, the fit is a dream, her hair is rockin, the earrings really work, and it's got a cape/train. We saw so many capes and trains last night (and Taraji's was memorably trampled), it was like all my wishes came true at once!
This is a simple look executed flawlessly. THIS is what I'm talking about when I say Could Use A Necklace (CUAN) - see how just a little bit of ice on the clavicle finishes the look? The dress is simple but expertly fit, the length is right, the bag gives it a tiny bit of edge, the red ring is a fun little bit of color, and I'm going to pretend I didn't see the back of her hair.
Jamie Foxx (seen here with daughter Corinne)!
I have no changes or notes for Jamie - he looked amazing and the different textures in his tux really read on air last night (that's a mark of a good stylist). Also, thanks to him for calling out Quentin Tarantino for being a racist asshat. We will not speak of Corinne's dress.
For some reason our Kate insists on wearing this neckline so I guess we have to just take that for what it is. I don't find it flattering on really anyone, but this is the best iteration of this dress we've seen so I give her kudos. She knows how great she looks in deep blue, and I'm loving the sideswept updo.
Congratulations to Jaimie Alexander for being our latest must-watch on the red carpet! Really cool gown, great styling, decent posing. I'm going to say I don't think a necklace would have worked with this dress, but I do wish she had gone bigger with her earrings.
I don't know why, but I was just really taken with how Maura Tierney looked last night. The dress is really nothing special, though it fits her well. The jewelry is unexpected and fun. Maybe it's just that she looks relaxed and lovely.
I really dug his plaid tux and it fits him well. Thank you, Aziz, for an appropriately-sized bowtie.
Personal best for Amy Adams. Keep up the good work (and the red hair).
This is just absolutely stunning. She looks like a princess. I maintain my stance that the detailing on the cups looks like nipple tassels that have been pinned under her arms, but even with that this was one of the most jaw dropping looks of the night. I love this girl and I love this look.
We grade on a curve here. I would love super duper loved to see this without the flower applique on the shoulder, but the shape and style is so her brand and she's wearing the hell out of it, so I say good job Maggie.
Amazing, gorgeous, slaying it. Cut, color, fit, cape yes. Also, I think she got a new makeup artist because this is far more classic Hollywood makeup than we've seen from her in the past couple of years. Dig it!
Speaking of classic Hollywood-inspired, holy moly! I loved this look from Gaga. Even when she's doing a very classic thing, she puts her Gaga spin on it - Hayworth dress with exaggerated silhouette (highlighted by the pose), Monroe hair but in white and yellow. I agree with some of the rumblings I heard that called for a darker lip, but take a moment away from the lips to appreciate her eyebrows. I am honestly not sure if I would call for a necklace here.
Everything seems to be in order here. Pretty and polished.
Well this is going to surprise the hell out of you, but I would have ditched the necklace. Other than that, this look is drop dead gorgeous. Gasps and claps all around.
As a rule, I try really hard to talk about OUTFITS and CONSTRUCTION and not BODIES here during the fashion rundown. It's very difficult for me to stick to that rule at the moment. What I will say is that this is a fantastic look for Kiki (who once was strictly forbidden from my rundowns for sheer horrible styling) and whatever she is using as support garments should have won an award last night.
Killing it from every angle. I died when I saw this. RIP me.
Bow down, you unworthy mortals. Dame Helen is here to show you how it's done. Also maybe to go home with Gerard Butler? They were a delightful pair last night.
True facts: I don't really like her and I don't know why. However, this look is dynamite. This was my favorite necklace of the night and, like Sophia Bush, perfectly illustrates my wishes for this world. The only word against the look is she needs to hork up the dress a skosh so she does't go tits ahoy when someone steps on it.
Goddess! For me, this was the best look of the night. I don't think it was necessarily the best dress but it's all happening here - she's wearing the hell out of it, her head looks phenomenal, she's working that ring, and even the dye-to-match shoes aren't, you know, the worst thing that ever happened. Jada! You are a goddess and we owe you much devotion!