Friday, February 27, 2015

Oscars 2015 Fashion Rundown: The WTF!

We're finally here and holy mother of god, do we have some real headscratchers this time around. Have you been wondering where certain people are in the other piles? Look no further fella, you found em!


Marion Cotillard!
From the front, it's fiiiiiiine if a little boring. Initially, I noted the extra fabric behind the waist and wondered if perhaps there was a cape on this dress. I was really excited about the possibility of a cape! Cape-ibility. (I'll show myself out.) And then she turned around...

NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. This is the worst possible outcome when hoping for a cape. Bunchy under-butt bustle? I said good day sir.

David Oyelowo!
Unlike some people I watched the awards with, I have no problem with the color of this tux. It's a gorgeous color on him, though I wish it was just the tiniest bit bigger in the arms. Like by a millimeter. Where is goes seriously WTF for me is the far too bright red vest and bowtie. Why. No really, someone tell me why one would ever pair claret with brick. Or maybe I'm just seeing the wrong color like that hideous dress people keep talking about. Also the lady in red in the back there needs a better bra because she's got the dubble bubble that plagues so many of us.

Keira Knightley!
This is the fashion equivalent of letting your "artistic" friend decorate your cast. Every time I look at this I make the same face. It is this face:

Jared Leto!
hahahahahahahhahahahaha WUT.

No seriously guys. Why is he wearing periwinkle doll clothes with orthopedic shoes and late-career Bee Gees head? The mind reels.

Gwyneth Paltrow!
My brain went: "Uh how boring....wait...a...minute...what's on her...shoul--

Hands down the most insane look of the night in a color she keeps trying to make work. On a scale of One to Patton, this is strangely similar to OG Patton, yes?

1 comment:

  1. Apart from the vagina-bow, I like Gwenyth's dress. I think the color is okay on her. Not great, but not bad.