Thursday, January 15, 2015

2015 Golden Globes: The WTF

Did you guys see that the Oscar Nomination came out today? That's a lot of white people! Like...they're all white. And the directors are all men. And except for one dude they are all white American men. WOW. How about that.

Oh right, on to the frivolity.


Jennifer Lopez!
While I appreciate the fact the she constantly looked as though she was emerging from a billowing curtain, it's time for JLo to get a new schtick. As Reader Amy pointed out, the deep V works for smaller-breasted women and here's a great example of why: otherwise you get this horrible "dress poking into the boob" look all night. The eye makeup really puts this over the top in to terror territory for me.

Those pants are FAR from fitting her, but perhaps more importantly, we are not in Madonna's "Express Yourself" video, Lorde.

Jane Fonda!
Some horrible disease seems to be eating away at Jane Fonda's dress, causing her to hold it together with bejeweled safety pins. Stay strong, Jane! You'll get through this!

Julianne Moore!
Remember, please, that the WTF is not always a bad WTF. Sometimes it is fabulous AND crazy. Like this. Head to thighs it's all sorts of age-appropriate Fembot. Thighs down it's silver being spun into feathers. AND YET! She looks better than she's looked in ages. Brava, Julianne.

Emma Stone!
Another one for the fabulous AND crazy column. This is amazingly chic, actually... except for the inexplicable sash of no purpose. Why in the world would you want to negotiate pants AND a train? The mind reels.

Claire Danes!
She looks like she's wearing unflattering sand art.

Keira Knightly!

Rosamund Pike!
She looks like a half-dressed paper doll. If this wasn't so horrifying it would be the second most hilarious look of the night.

Alan Cumming!
First most hilarious look of the night. And yes, even though he is wearing an entire suit the color of his skin, I cannot help but thinking this is AMAZINGLY FABULOUS. Stay gold, Ponyboy.


  1. having missed the red carpet (gasp!) I didn't know about JMo's feathers until she stood up to collect her award. I think I actually said "WTF"? but she is fabulous and I loved it.

  2. Did you know that the air conditioning was broken?? I learned that on yesterday's Ellen. I saw a shot of a woman fanning herself at a table and I was like, ooh menopause awkward on camera, but maybe no! They were all just sitting there in a to-the-nines sweat lodge.