Tuesday, January 13, 2015

2015 Golden Globes: The Meh!

It's that special time where we take stock of what almost worked, what bored me to tears, what was just too terribly expected.


Lena Dunham!
There is a lot wrong with this - the fit in the waist, the hemline, the SHOES, but there is also a lot right. I love this color on her, I love the neckline, I adore her hair this color and length, and you guys - did you see the back of this dress? The back is amazing.
Andrew Rannells is also amazing. Look at that skin.

Kate Hudson!
I'm a little bit done with Kate Hudson doing edgy white gowns for a while. It was a cute little "kiss off" after she and Jeter didn't get married but now I'm bored and want to see something more from her. I also think the styling for this look is far too understated and brings the whole thing down. I mean, even if you want to keep the gym hair, at least throw a couple of enormous emeralds in your ears or something.

Edited to Add: Apparently I mean A-Rod. I am really sorry, Reader Annie!

Uzo Aduba!
Hair is great, makeup is good, pattern is lackluster and that neckline should never be on that woman. Uzo, you deserve to shine and this dress just doesn't draw the eye.

Jenna Dewan-Tatum!
Fancy napkin with Courtney Cox hair and the wrong bag.

Katie Holmes!
Look, we're all proud of you for growing your hair out but it's too long for this style. Also the dress is a real snooze and your eye makeup needs to decrease by 40%. But welcome back to Hollywood, girl!

La Klum!
This is some straight up Vanna White 1987 realness. Honestly? I don't hate it.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus!
Tell me something I don't know, Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Allison Janney!
She looks great and the styling is on point, it's just that this dress appears to be strangling her and/or it's a large piece of fabric that is simply dripping off of her neck. To quote the inimitable Tim Gunn, this concerns me.

Laura Prepon!
She looks great but this is definitely an upscale Morticia Addams costume.

Alison Williams!
Boy, there sure was a lot of red on that red carpet, huh? I don't hate this dress, but it does seem stiff and unflattering. This is a major case of CUAN. Also, guys, I hate everything that is happening on her head. I just don't think this look is playing to her strengths.

Joanne Froggatt!
I loooooove this dress. It is beautifully tailored and totally different from anything else we saw on the red carpet. I love to look at this photo from just her shoulders down because the Sienna Miller circa 2003 hair drags this look from Fab to Drab.

Can we just have a moment for the Fab to Drab comment? I don't know why I wrote that but I'm leaving it because it's cracking me up.

Kate Mara!
While the belt is hilarious and the abdominal ruffles are perplexing, this is about a hundred and fifty times better than Kate Mara usually looks so she gets to be in the Meh, I guess. Underwhelmed congratulations, Kate.

Katherine Heigl!
She looks like a tabletop figurine. A tabletop figurine that is trying too hard. I think if it had a different bottom third and the neckline was raise about an inch and a half, this would be pretty great. But look at allllllll that real estate without jewelry. Girl, if you're going wear a deep scoop, throw some ice on the clavicle.

Jessica Lange!
It seems the fit is off by just enough to make me stop and look at this photo for too long. Also, I don't understand that black sash being positioned a couple inches under the seam. And for shame, Jessica, you sat down in the limo. Tsk tsk tsk.

Edie Falco!
Our Edie has problems choosing gowns that fit. This also happens to be ugly and unflattering. It's better than you did last year but barely. You tried, I guess.

Catherine Zeta-Jones!
It's fine, I guess, it's just boring. And could use a necklace for sure. GUYS! I am so hating this center part trend! UGH.

Anna Faris!
Pretty nightgown the color of her skin.

Jennifer Aniston!
Oh look! Jen wore a black gown! Quelle surprise. Unfortunately this neckline gives her boobs a decidedly football shape, the cumberbund is awkward, and the slit almost became our next national nightmare. You deserve better than this, Jen.

Salma Hayek!
Somewhere there is a bridal suite missing its duvet cover. Is it me or is our Salma sort of channeling a little girl playing dress up? Maybe it's the bag.


  1. Oh my god, Meg, you have conflated Jeter and A-Rod. A tiny part of my soul just died.

  2. Middle part trend = true tragedy. But Selma and C Z-J. look fantastic!

  3. Now, see I think Laura Prepon is demonstrating the wave of the future. Red carpets need more cosplay! "This year at the Oscars, everyone dresses as their favorite Avenger." "The SAG awards are going to have a Star Trek theme." "At the Grammys, everyone dressed as an 80s hip-hop artist."

    Oh, and the Vanna White comment on Klum actually made me laugh so hard I nearly fell over.