Oscars 2014 Fashion Rundown: The WTF

And here we conclude the 2014 Oscars coverage. I know I haven't featured too many men this time around, but let's face it - they were sort of boring. EXCEPT, of course, for the absolutely insane speech that Matthew McConaughey gave. I can't wait to meet 10 years from now McConaughey... and then mock him for letting down the man who looked to him as his hero. I also acknowledge that I haven't covered Ellen at all. For the record, I thought she looked great, did great, and can now count her profession as Professionally Likeable. Let's wrap it up, shall we?

THE WTF

Penelope Cruz!

Overall (and from far away) this is super duper pretty. Love the styling (except for the bag - it's too boxy for an ethereal look) and I actually quite like a delicate pink paired with black. But! What happened to this dress? Did they just cut far too much fabric and then decide to make it part of the gown? Was she worried that she maybe she'd be a little chilly and would need some chiffon to keep her one shoulder warm? I just can't make sense of it.

Lady Gaga!

A) Lady Gaga at the Oscars? B) I'm pretty sure that Lada Gaga stole Kristen Chenoweth's gown and Pen Cruz's chiffon. What in the world is happening here?!

Whoopi Goldberg!

Julia Roberts' Golden Globes look + Wizard of Oz + flapper beads+ Margot Tenenbaum's fake finger x2 + Seinfeld's puffy pirate shirt. INDEED.

Julie Delpy!

Little known fact: In addition to being a brilliant actor and writer, Julie Delpy is also a brilliant spider. If you look closely, it says, "Terrific" right under her armpit.

Pharrell Williams (seen here with Helen Lasichanh)!

Is this guy going for some sort of record on the most WTF outfits on a red carpet? I mean, I know we haven't yet addressed The Hat (because, uhhhh Grammys didn't actually happen here due to me being fashion weary), but this is two for freaking two. I mean, most tuxes could lose about an inch off the hem but this is just ridiculous. Pharrell! Look at your life, look at your (fashion) choices. You are not Kurt Von Trapp.

WAIT! I was just looking this over and I noticed that both Helen and velvet coat there in the back are wearing Little Lord Fauntleroy neck bows! That's AMAZING. What are the odds?!