Thursday, February 28, 2013

Oscars 2013: The Meh!

Regarding yesterday's post: I fully embrace the fact that I might be the only person alive who thought Halle Berry looked great. I am fine with that. And I still love each and every one of you.


Jennifer Aniston!
Lovely dress totally undone by a lack of hairdo. And I wish she was wearing a necklace. Still, it's great to see Jen in a color.

Reese Witherspoon!
I see what she was going for, but in the end it's not doing her any favors. The cut on the bodice at once makes her hips look out of proportion and her boobs look tiny. And that sad little train is making me wince.

Norah Jones!
Speaking of no favors being done by a gown... yikes. I actually really like this dress but I just don't think it's the right dress for her. And the hair is a major misstep if you ask me.

George Clooney (seen here with Stacy Keibler)!
Sloppy! The pants are too long, the jacket is unbuttoned on the red carpet (cardinal sin), and he just looks like he's phoning it in. Now, I love a good beard and I have no problem with the one on his face - and his arm. OOOH! BURN! But it is sort of shocking to see The Cloon with full facial hair, right? There was some speculation by some of my friends on Oscar night that mayhaps The Cloon is playing Papa in a biopic. That would be awesome.

Octavia Spencer!
I love the color, I love the neckline, I love the hair. I do not love the construction on the dress; it just cuts her in too many pieces and makes her look short.

Olivia Munn!
Oh so close! Great make up, great hair, great design. I love almost everything about this but I am very fearful that she's about to go tits ahoy. The skirt seems pretty heavy and I don't know that it really needs that train.

Salma Hayek!
Okay, so it's McQueen on the RC and you know how I feel about that. On one hand, I totally love this dress - it is so WOW. On the other hand, with the golden neck strangler and the big top knot hairdo, our Salma sort of looks like a fancy vase.

Catherine Zeta-Jones!
And then Catherine Zeta-Jones came dressed as the prettiest Sandra Lee tablescape of all time.

Kerry Washington!
Soooo pretty. I love this color and how simple the skirt is. Her makeup is flawless. But the top of the dress looks heavy and clunky. I just wish it was more delicate.

Renee Zellweger!
It's just slightly too tight. Gold lame is unforgiving, and this here is the proof. Her hair looks like she just finished an hour on the elliptical and the accessories are a mistake. Renee. Help me help you.

Bradley Cooper (seen here with him mom)!
Again, just slightly too tight, especially in the pants. I don't really like Bradley Cooper and I feel weird looking straight at his inseam every time I open this photo. Also, he has got to figure out a different way to wear his hair. That's just rough. As for his adorable mom, go 'head girl! If you're going to the Oscars with your nominated son, I think that lace and feathers and bowling shoes are the right answer. I'm not even being snarky! You are my favorite. You're like the lady in the hot pink coat that I loved in the background of every Golden Globes photo this year. xoxo.

Jennifer Hudson!
If this was sleeveless, I would be all about it. But it's not, so I think it's just okay.

Jeremy Renner!
Jeremy Renner looks like he's plotting your downfall while wearing his big brother's tux and the Bat Signal around his neck.

and finally.... who else but...

At least we know for once and for all that laundry day happens to the best of us. And make no mistake: HBC is the best of us.


  1. HBC always wears the same, damn thing. I think SHE wanted the bowling shoes. Also, Renee came dressed as Oscar. I feel like if you're going to go dressed as Oscar, might as well go dressed as Rocky <3

  2. I also loved Halle Berry! I am all about the severe metallic dresses.

  3. It's funny, for someone who's book is called "Suck It, Wonder Woman," the cut of Olivia Munn's top looks like the cut of Wonder Woman's costume. Only gaudier.

  4. Georgie was indeed doing the facial hair for a movie. In the interview I saw, he wasn't too happy with it either. I feel like he just said "this beard is going to make me look sloppy, so I will be." He looked better sitting down. He'd look even better sitting down next to me on my sofa, playing with my hound and eating chinese take out with me. To clarify - none of those statements were euphemisms.

  5. You are so spot on! I couldn't stop laughing when I got to Jeremy Renner, even though I have no idea who he is.

  6. Who is Olivia Munn? As always, a hoot and wonderful - agree with all - Kerry washington looks a bit like they forgot to cut off the roll of plastic tablecloth...
    thanks Meg.

  7. Fancy vase. Nailed it. Bravo!

    ~Jenny Lovelace