Grammys 2013: The Meh!

As you know, my dear readers, usually the Meh is the longest section of all. But not for the Grammys! We actually have a fairly short list of "almost there but not quite" looks today. WHICH MEANS: I might be able to give you the Bad today as well. Let's do this.

THE MEH

La Kidman!

Clearly she is not even trying. She's all one color, the makeup is an afterthought, and you KNOW how I feel about short dresses under long lace.

Kelly Rowland!

Wellllllllll well well. Someone is a little sick of Beyonce getting all the attention, yes? Listen, here's the real scoop: this dress is gorgeously designed, fits her perfectly, and is totally eye-catching. But... it's kind of tacky. And I wish her bangs were straight.

Kat Dennings!

Snooooooooooze. Tell me something I don't know, Kat Dennings.

John Legend!

Fact: John Legend is straight up adorable. Fact: John Legend's suit does not fit him. We're just ordinary people, John, and even we go to the tailor.

Miranda Lambert!

Honey, this is not the right neckline for you. Ladies with strong shoulders, please avoid the halter tops. They will do you no favors. Also, I think this dress might be one of those granny panty see through jawns and that is a shame. Your makeup, though, is FANTASTIC.

Bonnie Raitt!

I know, I know! Far be it for me to criticize Bonnie Raitt because, you know, she is totally the most badass of them all, but... ugh. There is something that just seems a little off about this. I think it's the cut of the bottom of the blouse. I don't know. I just wish I had Bonnie Raitt's hair. And musical talent.

Drake!

Oof. The jacket is too tight. The pants are too big. The beard is weird. But I like the color combination.

Alicia Keys!

That's a whole lot of shape. I love this neckline on her and I'm very impressed that she can wear all those cutouts and not look completely stumpy. The skirt, on the other hand, confuses me profoundly. How is it like that? Are there wires shaping the bottom? Why is it so curvy and then so square? I just....what is happening here?

Skylar Grey!

I don't know who you are but I do know this: You can't just tie some pretty fabric around your neck and call it a day!

Justin Timberlake!

I love what Justin's been doing with his hair lately - it is super suave and very Great Gatsby. So, from the neck up, he looks great. I do not like the material of his jacket, the enormity of his bowtie, the far too generous cut of his pants, nor these shoes. I see what you were going for, but it just didn't work.

Alexa Chung!

I love this dress and I think she looks adorable. But it really could have used some evening hair and those shoes are all wrong. The ankle straps are distracting and the color is a disaster.

Kaya Jones

Hair is great, color is great, makeup is great, dress is almost great. I think maybe we lose the cape and give it slightly less plunge in the neckline and we're there.

Carrie Underwood!

Golf claps all around for that necklace. THAT'S what I'm talking about. I'm a little confused about why she wore a Rorschach test, though. It is at once bold and boring, and I can't quite get my head around it. I need to give L'Underwood big snaps for wearing a projection screen during her performance. That was crazy and cool.

Joan Osborne!

Joan Osborne is alive! I miss her! Hem this and change the color to, say, navy and we have a great look.