Thursday, February 21, 2013

Grammys 2013: The WTF

I know, I know, I know. I'm late with this and the Oscars are this weekend and it's crunch time for FASHION.


A) I didn't realize SWV still existed.
B) I remember really liking them, but I cannot think of a single SWV song right now.
C) SWV REALLY LOVES AMERICA. Or France. They might love France.

Lisa D'Amato!
Mother Ginger meets Ringling Brothers meets Tim Burton. The dress is bad enough as it is, but WTF is up with the satin bow? Is that really necessary!?

Otis Williams!
Mr. Williams,
I regret to inform you that your status as one of the Temptations does not entitle you to dress like a Black Eyed Pea. PS, WTF is on your shoes?
The Management

Kimberly Schlapman!
WTF happened to your dress, Kimberly? How much tape are you wearing to keep that napkin attached to your bosoms? What is this witchcraft?

Red Foo!
Look at this fucking hipster. Red Foo (if indeed that is your real name), are you wearing short pants on the red carpet? To quote Judge Brack, "People don't do such things!"

THAT'S RIGHT. I just quoted Ibsen in a discussion of what a person named Red Foo wore to an awards show. WAY TOO SHAY IS HIGH ART.

Josh Ramsay (seen here with Amanda McEwan)!
Copper. Pleather. Suit. W. T. F.

Why are none of them wearing socks?! Also why are all of them wearing capri pants? This concerns me.

Honestly, I think this outfit broke my brain. 1940s hair and makeup. Figure skater torso and inexplicable tulle. It's like the entire bottom of the dress wanted to be covered in tulle, but it's balding around her knees and growing gold boils in its place. Additionally, what is a Kimbra? Also, I wish all these kids would get off my lawn.

1 comment:

  1. I heart you.

    So very much.

    We can be the old ladies on the porch together. Yelling at kids.