I have been having one hell of a week over here at Way Too Shay Headquarters, which is why we're getting started on the Oscars rundown so late. Luckily, as reader Jayme reminded me today, "Bad fashion never rots." Well thank god.
THE GOOD
Charlize Theron!
It is entirely possible that she is wearing more boob tape than she is wearing dress, but this look just knocked me out. One of my favorites for the night.
Daniel Day Lewis and Rebecca Miller!
Classic. Elegant. Beautiful. My goodness, I do love a navy tux.
Queen Latifah!
Nailed it. I honestly do not have one bad thing to say. She looks gorgeous. The cut and fit are perfection.
Joseph Gordon Levitt
Someone fetch me my smelling salts - I believe I may faint.
Emmanuelle Riva!
Bringing the floor-length cape realness in a gorgeous color.
Helen Hunt!
Fun fact: This dress is by H&M. Which probably means that by the end of the night it had slid halfway around her body without her noticing, giving the effect that she had been somehow twisted around the middle. That's what happens to me when I wear H&M, anyway. All joking aside, it's a classic silhouette, great necklace, lovely hair. So glad to have you back, Helen.
Jamie Foxx and his daughter Corinne Bishop!
While I feel like the black shirt paired with black lapels creates some sort of chest vortex, I think overall it's a sharp look for Jamie Foxx. His daughter looks fabulous - don't change a thing!
Fan Bingbing!
A) I love her name. B) I love this color on her. C) While I think it could use a necklace, I really love how serious this dress is. It's like "Hello. I am a dress and I am not F'ing around!"
Samantha Barks!
And on the other end of the dress spectrum, even with the deepest of deep Vs this looks glamorously understated. And look! A necklace! Bless.
Shirley Bassey!
76 years old. Yeah, the fringe on the bottom of the dress is a little whack but damn, she looks good!
Jane Fonda!
Speaking of looking good... bow down! I loved this look on her so much. (Also, for those of you keeping score at home, our Jane is 75 years old. I'm going to start doing some aerobics videos. Sheesh.)
Daniel Radcliffe!
Perfectly fitted, perfectly lovely. And that's just on his own! When he got up on stage with Kristen Stewart (who is allergic to brushing her hair and looking happy) he managed to look even more put together. 10 points to Gryffindor!
Halle Berry!
This dress is intense, but she is really making it work. Thank you, Halle, for not showing us your hip bone this time. You look so great.
Christoph Waltz (seen here with Judith Holste)!
A beautifully tailored navy blue tux will do me in anytime. Just fabulous. PS - I like Judith's dress, but it's not
enough for the Oscars.
Jennifer Lawrence!
If you're going to win an Oscar at age 22, you may as well do it in a dramatic, gorgeous Barbie dress that makes you look like you're made out of rose petals. I fear it was a bit heavy and threatening to droop and I think maybe the necklace she chose was not the right one, but those are minor quibbles.
Regarding JLaw's fall on the way to collect her Oscar: the next time I fall down on the streets of Philadelphia (which happens more often than you'd think), I am going to be really disappointed if Hugh Jackman doesn't run to my aid.
Justin Theroux!
It's impressive, really, that there is not one hair out of place, not one wrinkle in the fabric, not one detail undone.
Zoe Saldana!
My first thought: That is one showstopper of a gown and she is wearing the hell out of it. My second thought: those flower things must have been scratching her arms all night.
Stacy Keibler (seen here with George Clooney)!
I am in love with this dress. I cannot stop looking at it. It makes me so happy! She looks amazing. As for The Cloon... we'll get to him in another post.
Adele!
I kind of wish there was an accent belt or sash (mayhaps in gold), but I thought this looked gorgeous, especially under the lights when she adorably thanked "her man."
Eddie Redmayne!
Perfect. He sings like a Muppet, but he looks perfect.
Jenna Dewan-Tatum (seen here with Channing Tatum)!
He doesn't really do it for me and his tux is clearly far too small for him. But! His wife! THIS is how we do red carpet pregnancy. Everyone copy this photo and put it in a file for the appropriate time. Yes, girl, yes.
Jessica Chastain!
Sometimes if you wish for something hard enough, you get your wish. You guys, I wished SO HARD for La Chastain to pull out all the stops for the Oscars and it came true! She looks better than I've ever seen her. I wouldn't normally think this color would work for her, but it is flawless. Well played, La Chastain.
Quvenzhane Wallis!
Best dressed of the night! She looks gorgeous and happy and I really want those shoes. Also: I love her puppy purse so so much,
especially since the puppy is wearing a tiara.
