Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Also, knowing that Tina Turner is a goddess

This morning a friend of mine posted a link on Facebook to this list of 30 Things Every Woman Should Know Before She Turns 30. I'm going to be 32 in a couple of weeks (I have no idea how that happened), and I felt a sense of pride mentally checking off a bunch of these items as I read through... here are a few examples...

When to say yes. Done.
How to fake it. (I should note they mean fake like you're an adult, but I would amend to say know how to realistically fake an orgasm also, because sometimes you just need to go to sleep.) Done and Done.
How to order and drink straight whiskey. Oh puhleeeeeeease. Duh.
How to love your own smell. Done.
How to discuss sex frankly with your partner(s). VERY important. Done.
So, okay, this list is pretty good! Definitely better than that crappy Huffington Post you should have a cordless drill and a blace lace bra list. Ladies, we call it a DRILL GUN because that is so much more badass. And we always keep it charged.
I posted the list to Facebook and immediately got some great addendums, so I thought I'd bring it over here and see what you, my dear readers, would like to add.
Annie says, "Whoever wrote this has a little more to learn. You're never supposed to drink whiskey neat if you want to get the most out of it. Whiskey dries out as it ages, so you need to put in even just a splash of water to reinvigorate it and release the flavor."
Erin says, "No is a complete sentence."
Amy says, "I dunno about that paper napkin tampon thing. how 'bout "how to ask a stranger in a bathroom for a tampon" instead?"
Here are my additions:
* How to be supportive of a friend even if you disagree with their life decisions.

* Have a serious and candid conversation with your doctor about your mental, sexual, and overall physical health WITHOUT lying about how many partners you've had, how sad you feel, and if you sometimes drink 8 beers on a Saturday. Because the fact is: they've heard it all and you're only hurting yourself if you lie to a health professional.
* One dinner you can make really well that you can bust out if you happen to have your parents/your love interest/your long lost friend over for dinner. It doesn't have to be fancy; it just has to be good and non-stressful.
* How to negotiate genderqueer pronouns in normal conversation without sounding condescending or confused.
* Being able to recognize what is wrong with this picture*:
Your additions?
*the answer is: EVERYTHING.

1 comment:

  1. *How to agree to disagree when it's not very important, and how to stand up for your beliefs when it is.
    *How to tell the difference between important arguments and unimportant ones.
    *How to admit that you don't know something, aren't good at something, or never gave something enough thought to form an intelligent opinion.