Friday, August 19, 2016

2016 SUMMER OLYMPICS! Parade of Nations: The Bad!

And now we move from the Parade of Blazers to our eyes being set ablaze with the following visual assault.


What in the name of seersucker is going on here!? Hideous blazers with even worse neckwear. YIKES.

Cargo pants painted to look like lederhosen. I. CAN'T.

 "What should our Parade of Nations outfits look like?" "Uh, I dunno, eggs and ketchup?" "PERFECT."

Basically it's ugly, nothing matches, and those hats are doing no favors for any of them! It also appears that the man in the middle foreground may have misbuttoned his blazer, which makes it all the worse. I mean, it's probably just an illusion because his arm is up and waving, but it's kind of indicative of how off this look is.

Oh girl, oh no. No no no.

Czech Republic!
Zoot Suit, Zoot Suit
Deep pleat, silk lapel
Guns a-blazin' straight to hell
In my mind you look so cute
Wrapped up with your arms around my
Zoot Suit, Zoot Suit

In the words of Phoebe Buffet, MY EYES! Gold medal for brightest outfits. On the other hand, Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce should have won an additional medal for SHUTTING IT DOWN with her amazing color coordinated hair. That is awesome.

I am pretty sure my parents had a couch that looked exactly like these outfits.

North Korea!
This is actually scrubs and doctor jackets, right?! Like...what is even happening? Where are we? What is this event?

St. Kitts and Nevis!
Everything is fine except the inexplicable acoustic guitar pickguard on their chests. WUT.

Absolutely hideous. Honestly, just terrible.

When I think fashion, I am often inspired by the pattern of foam carpet padding. Glad I'm not alone in that.


  1. Australia got their kits from ebay from the wizarding school down under. They had bought them for the Tri-wizarding tournament but they weren't invited. Again. Stupid Beauxbatons, er Montenegro.

  2. Can someone explain why many women runners seem to be wearing wigs during competition? They look really hot...but in a sweaty way.

  3. North Korea = Miami Vice knockoffs from 1985. You can find them in the Don Johnson line at KMart.

  4. Great, Gigi, now we're both on a watch list.

  5. China... MUSTART + Ketchup.

    Colombia - can I get the bag? Seriously.