2016 SUMMER OLYMPICS! Parade of Nations: The Meh!

Are you ready for the Parade of Blazers and Track Suits?

THE MEH

Angola!

I actually rate this fairly high in the Parade of Blazers. I like the red shoes here a lot - it's a nice bit of pizzazz.

Argentina!

I find I like the skirts better than the pants, as white pants feel like an assault on my eyes. Although maybe that's just because of the amount of fabric it takes to cover Luis Scola's legs?

Aruba!

A jaunty take on the Mission Band costumes from Guys and Dolls.

Bahamas!

I think I'd like this better without the black piping on the jackets and the pants. Also, we are in the midst of the Kokomo section of this rundown. Come on pretty mama.

Bermuda!

I mean, yeah, you have to have the shorts. That is the rule. I just don't know why you also have to look like you're doing a scene from School Ties.

Bolivia!

Eh. It's okay. Fairly basic flight attendant uniform.

Burkina-Faso!

Honestly, this is fine but I think the sleeves are an awkward length.

Cape Verde!

I can't tell if this is meant to give the illusion of a blue shirt under a white shirt or the illusion of a small vest left unbuttoned.

France!

Snoozefest.

Germany!

Minus the sneakers this is basically what I wear to work every day in the Fall. That's fine for business casual but this is the Olympics.

Great Britain!

Did you know that all of Britain's female athletes are also medical doctors? Show offs.

Greece!

Almost the exact same outfits as the British men, except that the Greeks have the decency to cover their shins.

Ireland!

I searched and searched for a better picture but this is all I've got. Honestly, it's not awwwful but I am slightly concerned about the sudden shift to green on the one pant leg.

Italy!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Japan!

Unfortunate hotel concierge uniform.

Mexico!

Cover image from a think piece circa 1988 about women wearing sneakers on their commute to work and then changing into heels at the office.

New Zealand!

Absolutely nothing to write home about, other than those hobbit pelts on the two leading boys.

Nigeria!

I actually like it but I'm bothered by the green in the shoes not matching the green in the track suit. 

Pakistan!

I find this only okay. If the vests were the same length as the tunics I would love it. I like the vest unbuttoned better than buttoned I think. 

Romania!

Why does none of this actually go together?

Russia!

There are three things I find challenging about these outfits: firstly, the piping. Lord, the piping. Secondly, the length of those skirts is the most unflattering length. How horrible to make a woman wear a pleated skirt that falls just below the knee. Third and most perplexing: why are there three pockets? Clerical error? 

South Korea!

More piping, this time with party hats. Super love the kravats for ladies, though!

Spain!

More party hats! I think actually the red pants are great. I don't even really mind them with the blue blazers, but I wish there was a different tie. Maybe something patterned?

Taiwan!

This looks to me like an "edgy" a cappella group. I'm calling them Taiwan-na Sex You Up.

Uruguay!

It's party time at the country club!

USA!

Ugh. The designer logo on the blazer is the Most American Thing and I hate it. Also these outfits are so bro-y.

Zambia!

Tell me something I don't know, Zambia.