My dear readers, it is my favorite time of every few years: The Olympics! I have been absolutely glued to the TV since it started a couple of weeks ago and honestly, I need the thing to be over because I am severely sleep-deprived. We could talk about so many things, but this is Way Too Shay, so we are going to talk about fashion. Let's rewind back to a time before you loved both Simones, before Lilly wagged her finger, before that pole vaulter's junk ruined his chances for glory. Let's go all the way back to the Parade of Nations. Now, we're going to do our usual categories, but let me state up front that I deeply respect the athletes we're about to see and the countries they represent and I am judging only on fashion. Okay, in the case of Tonga we're going to have to give some respect to that body-ody-ody too, but PURELY in a sexist objectifying gaze kind of way. Also, I can only show you the photos I found; many many countries are missing.
But first things first, attention must be paid to what happened that first night of the Olympics: Gisele took her final runway walk as part of the opening ceremonies.
I really thought we were about to see her parade of nations at one point, but she's the best in the world and the dress respected her enough to stay put. Well done Gisele, and well done garment tape.
As you will see in the Meh, I found the sea of blazers to be a bit boring. However, Belarus found a way to take the Parade of Blazers and sport it up a bit. I like the monochromatic-with-patterned-shirt look for the dudes and the fitted red blazers for the ladies.
Hate the shoes but love the dresses. I am currently looking for a copy of this look to wear for work meetings.
Yes! This is what I'm talking about! What I want from the Parade of Nations is beautiful, awesome outfits. Burundi is one of my favorites - fun animal print, fantastically accessorized.
I can only hear "Cameroon" in RuPaul's voice and that's the way I want it to stay. This is just straight up a fantastic showstopper look. CAMEROOOOOOON!
It's pretty casual but exactly Cayman Islands, right? Also currently searching for female athlete Cayman Island dress to wear to work.
One of my favorites. Love this so much. Would like to find this dress to wear to a wedding.
PS I guess Parade of Nations is how I online shop for clothes.
Sailor suit realness.
If you are from the Pacific Islands, you get to rock these shirts. These guys make it look good.
Another favorite of mine. Looking for this dress for a bridal shower I have next month.
As you'll see later, some countries wore jeans and cargo shorts. India was like "SUIT UP." Dapper as hell.
I love these suit coats so much. They are GORGEOUS and so fabulous. Also girlfriend on the right could not be more amazing!
One of my favorite of the Snazzy Track Suit entries. Very mod.
I have heart eyes over this. Simple and pretty - would like this to wear with leggings on the weekend.
When I look at this photo I like to pretend that the Kenyan Olympic Team has been bonding in the leadup to the games by joining a bowling league. When it came time to pick their Parade of Nations costumes, they decided they liked the look of their bowling gear. Even if that's not true (it's definitely not true) I still really love their outfits. Cool and laid back.
What I like best about this is how the men and women have different but thematically similar outfits. They coordinate but are different enough to make me look more closely at the patterns and designs. Especially digging the reversible scarf for the women.
Micronesia came dressed as everyone's dad and I am here for it.
Representing the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. Desperately need these dresses for HP cosplay.
Gold medal in accessories!
Olympic Refugee Team!
As we are to see in the Meh, there is nothing more universally unifying than a blazer and some pants. This looks great.
Fabulous. Looking for this dress to wear to a wedding next summer.
This might actually be my favorite. Love that peplum!
Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove these skirts. Need this look for when I finally get Hamilton tickets. You know I'm dressing up to go to the theatre whenever that happens.
Tied with Israel for best Snazzy Track Suit look. Love these so much - I'd say I love these track suits almost as much as the dude in this photo loves being at the Olympics!
Bow down, bitches! This is everything I want and never thought I would get from the Summer Olympics Parade of Nations: a fur hat and some velvet frocks. Turkmenistan, you win.